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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Ok to not dress up too much for a Christening?

113 replies

ytrewqytrewq · 30/03/2018 17:50

Help me out here. We're not church-goers but going to a Christening soon for a family member - first one we've been to. There'll be a reception after but likely to be relatively informal. Is smart-casual ok, or do people dress up for Christenings like they do for weddings? Would jeans be ok, so long as they were relatively smart?

OP posts:

SumAndSubstance · 30/03/2018 18:15

Is it part of the normal Sunday service? If so, you can get away with anything smart casual as the rest of the congregation won't be 'dressed up'. I think that for private christenings, you might need to go a bit more formal. I wouldn't go with jeans, but I wouldn't wear jeans to church either, although lots of people do.

MadMags · 30/03/2018 18:16

I’ve never seen anyone wear a hat to a christening! Catholic, maybe it’s different.

kateemo · 30/03/2018 18:18

Just saying thanks for being a thoughtful person. I am still hot over a guest who decided to wear a sleveless glittery very mini tutu dress and Jessica Rabbit heels and who looks crazy out of place in the photos at my daughter's christening. Not my side of the family, so it was difficult to be schtum about it.

MaryShelley1818 · 30/03/2018 18:43

I would definitely say no jeans.
We went to a Christening last weekend, DP wore a suit, I wore a dress (knee length and floaty) with heels and a short sleeve cardi, and baby DS (15wks) wore super cute trousers with braces and a smart navy jumper.

RedShoesAndRainMacs · 30/03/2018 18:53

One of my family members wore jeans and a very un-ironed shirt and his wife a scruffy tunic and three quarter length leggings ... to their own child's christening! They looked waaaayyyy out of place on the photos, among people who looked like they actually gave a shit. And had maybe even chanced a shower 🤮

DeathStare · 30/03/2018 19:29

I remember having a discussion with a friend once about what I was going to wear to her DC's christening. She was incredibly offended when I said that I wasn't going to be as formally dressed to the christening as I was to a relative's very formal (morning suits for the men) wedding. I showed her the (still quite dressy) dress I was going to wear, which she agreed was suitable, but she was incredibly upset that I had said that her DC's christening was a less formal occasion than a very formal wedding. She left in tears and our relationship has never really recovered. When I went to the wedding in my (fairly formal) dress, with my ex in a suit, there were plenty of people there in jeans and hoodies, and we were among a very small minority that were at all formally dressed

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/03/2018 19:47

Nice jeans with a smart blouse and a jacket with heels would be ok imo. When someone says jeans I think posters imagine baggy ones with a hoody and DM's!

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 30/03/2018 19:49

I'm big into jeans but even I cracked a dress out for our friends child's christening

DappledThings · 30/03/2018 19:55

I wear jeans to church (high CofE) every week and will be having DC2 Christened in a few weeks.

Most people do dress up a bit but if anyone wears jeans to DD's I wouldn't bat an eyelid. Some people probably did to DS's, I didn't notice what anyone was wearing really.

I have only one bf friendly dress that is a jersey wrap one so I'll be wearing that.

NannyR · 30/03/2018 20:00

At our church its the families that don't attend church apart from the baptism that tend to be overdressed in almost wedding type outfits. The regular congregation don't really dress any differently to a normal Sunday. We just had our annual baptism/confirmation/baby blessing service and even a lot of the adults who were baptised were wearing "normal" clothes like jeans and t shirts.

Armi · 30/03/2018 20:25

I’m going to a christening soon. No-one involved is even vaguely religious, no-one attends church. A wedding-style venue has been booked for a ‘reception’ afterwards and exceedingly grand invitations (thick white card, gold print) have been sent out, even though as family members we knew it was happening, where and when etc through conversation. I have had to buy a dress (my suggestion of smart trouser suit was met with disapproval) and posh shoes (I live in trousers and trainers). I am properly fucked off as it’s also a four hour drive away so my frail old dog is having to go into kennels and we have to spend much of the weekend sitting in the car. I really would be less pissed off if those involved were actually religious but this is just blatant, tacky showing off. We’re godparents to the new messiah so can’t even give the whole thing the swerve.

What a pointless, expensive charade.

I would say wear jeans if the fancy takes you. I’m sure you’ll look smart and appropriate and if not, well people don’t have to look. It’s only a dribble of water on a kid’s head.

frasier · 30/03/2018 20:28

Last Christening we went to was 'smart casual". All but ne person wore a suit and tie. The odd one out wore a jacket and trousers but no tie. It is noticeable on the photos, he sticks out like a sore thumb.

Women all wore dress, Jaeger, Hobbs and LK Bennett dresses!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 30/03/2018 20:29

Not jeans.

Mookie81 · 30/03/2018 20:33

Unless you have social awareness issues this is a ridiculous question. To the hosts it's as formal an occasion as a wedding, of course no jeans. Smart trousers at the very least.

DappledThings · 30/03/2018 20:39

To the hosts it's as formal an occasion as a wedding

Not necessarily! As I say we will be having DC2 Christened in a few weeks. As with DC1 it will be part of the normal morning Mass then back to ours for food, drink and cake. It is about welcoming DD to the church and seeing friends as part of that. I couldn't give a fuck what anyone wears

Hoolahoophop · 30/03/2018 20:39

MIL wore jeans and a fleece to dcs christening. She looked very out of place as the congregation is mostly all Sunday best and the non church going guests were all in smart casual/sunday best garden party (for the garden party reception at our house after). Looks like she really didn't get the memo or didn't care in pictures. She attends a different church, I presume they dress differently.

Armi · 30/03/2018 20:41

Perhaps she attends a church where it’s more about faith than dress codes.

BackforGood · 30/03/2018 21:04

I sometimes wear jeans to go to my normal Sunday service, but that is different from being invited to a Christening. Then you dress for the occasion.

Dangerousmonkey · 30/03/2018 21:12

The regular congregation wouldn't mind. It's the family / friends. If they are church then they probably wouldn't bat an eye* . If this is a family Calling it a christening then chances are they don't regularly go and expect a big effort.
*disclaimer: some "high" church places will openly sneer at whatever you wear.

JessicaJonesJacket · 30/03/2018 21:18

I wear jeans to Church all the time but wouldn't ever wear them to a Christening.They aren't appropriate. Christenings are formal/smart - like a wedding but without the hats/fascinators.

unintentionalthreadkiller · 30/03/2018 21:55

Jeans are not appropriate for a christening!

Babdoc · 30/03/2018 22:02

Speaking as a Christian, God won’t mind what you wear! The important thing is welcoming the child into the church congregation, making vows to raise it in the Christian faith and supporting its moral development and welfare.
If the family are having some sort of reception afterwards, you’d best ask them if they have a dress code or not. It won’t matter to anyone else.

Strippervicar · 30/03/2018 22:17

Last christening I went to was last month. I wore a cream blouse, black pencil skirt, nude tights and black low heels.

Christening in not nice weather are hard, so all I'd say is wear something smart and weather appropriate. Possibly, not jeans. However, if you can dress up jeans, go for it! Very new skinny jeans, nice floaty blouse and nice heels would be lovely.

Saying that, my own dc's baptism I wore a long sleeve knee length white dress (summer) I'd have been happy you were attending whatever you wore. We just had sandwiches and cake at home. Sone christenings are like weddings.

Also, I think an indicator is the mother of the dc being baptised, what does she think is 'smart/formal'. At the above mentioned christening she wore a strapless baby pink peplum top with matching bell bottom trousers teamed with a while long line jacket. She took the jacket off during the service. Her friends and family were dressed similarly. Dc's father's family all had short dresses and knee boots. Tights optional. I preferred what I wore.

HumptyD93 · 30/03/2018 22:19

Dh was asked to leave a wedding reception for wearing jeans... apparently the golf club it was held at didn't allow them.only when bride kicked up a fuss was he allowed to stay but wasn't allowed to go to the bar to buy drinks. He was like a naughty schoolboy sat at the naughty table.

HumptyD93 · 30/03/2018 22:19

Ps....I know you said christening. ..but if it's at a golf club then definitely no jeans. Lol

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