Instamums 4

[mammyoftwo]

Following on from Instamums 3.2

I think possibly part of this discussion should be considering why these accounts are so appealing. I find them appealing even though I can see through them in the same way as women's magazines and advertising generally. You might be able to see how it's constructed but it doesn't take away its power unfortunately. The version of motherhood they're pushing is almost entirely based around consumption and that makes people who are viewing unhappy even while they're drawn to it. Instamums are particularly insidious, because they are the content and the advertising, and the lines are completely blurred, which is why regulation is important. Clearly they are presenting an aspirational version of reality while in some ways pretending they're just like us. Personally it's the fact that they won't own this but tend to gloss over the fact that they're pushing consumption with a faux-feminist message, that I find most galling. I don't think picking over the details of MOD's feed is that helpful she's part of a wider media industry and she's pushing its message because she's funded by advertising. I'm sure she's a nice person and I have nothing against her personally at all, but she should follow advertising regulation.

@CadyHeron Please don’t generalise. These threads can get silly sometimes but most of us aren’t mean girls and genuinely want to have a constructive debate. Advertising transparency and safeguarding children are issues worth debating.

I've been thinking a lot about whether people are being unfair by mentioning MOD/FOD on here so much. And while I do think that personal comments about her midwifery skills or his status as a wanker do cross the line I think they are standing out in this discussion for a reason: because they have positioned themselves at the forefront of this instagram influencer movement.

They work hard at being instacelebs, and they play hard at making the most of the perks. And if you post about yourselves and your luxury perks so ostentatiously then you should expect to be discussed in a similar manner. Not every SM influencer has been on SIX luxury family holidays in the space of a year (not including short breaks). Barbados, Corfu, Portugal, Cornwall, Florida, St Lucia.

That shit stands out. Sorry, but it does.

Gobbolin my point is that my 11 year old is very clued up re social media, very level headed and capable of making an informed decision. My younger dd wouldn't have a clue!

#bemorerhonda

Do you all realise that the "instamums" you mainly discuss here are, in the scheme of things on insta, a minority? Even if you think you are making changes because some of them are taking notice of you (I think it's more like they're humouring you) it's negligible really.

DMBL40 has 77k followers, MOD 460k, Motherpukka and the others somewhere in between. The likes of Binky Felstead, Sam & Billie Faires, Millie McIntosh and other reality celebs are in the millions. From what I can see they are no better at using #ad gifted etc. They also feature their children. Not really sure what you hope to achieve with these threads.

The point there is that if you follow a celeb, you know what they have hasn’t necessarily been paid for by them and if they are proporting to be an “ordinary” mum or dad then you’re assuming what the have is paid for by them, it’s a subliminal sort of message because of there perceived status as ordinary

The reality celebrities built their audience in a different manner. Instamums built their audience by being their follower's 'friend in these little squares'. (Twee phrase.)

sofia - your child will not know about the fact that her address is accessible on publically accessible documents and the risks associated with that. Saying that an 11 year old can make that decision is frankly crackers.

I would read the post upthread by the poster who has worked with mentally ill individuals who become fixated on individuals; particularly when there is a false sense of intimacy created. My husband has had a similar issue with a patient. Thank God we had taken sensible precautions so our home address is not on any publically accessible documents and we are not on the searchable electoral role. He has no photos of our children in his practice etc. It was bad enough when this person was turning up at his work shouting outside and trying to get in to his surgery to see him. He is a
6 foot 7 adult with a lot of experience of dealing with the general public. It makes my blood run cold that they could have turned up at our house, known what nursery our children go to, seen our children asleep and in the bath and known the lay out of every room.

@Sofialemon Maybe you’re right, maybe nothing will change, but change generally starts at the grassroots. It’s worth debating and hoping,

Sofia the point of a thread is to discuss things! I don’t think most people here think that this is going to take the instaworld by storm and cause an ad revolution come Easter Day. I for one have enjoyed the insights from people with diffferent areas of expertise and knowledge and have decided to make changes to my own digital footprint based on what feels right to me. I enjoy reading things like what FlyingBird said above about reality tv politics and feeling less alone in my reaction to this phenomenon.

And actually, most social changes do start with people getting together and having a discussion which then goes on to action taken by some individuals or the group. End of slavery, French Revolution, women’s liberation - and now Breton tops and saltwater sandals in undisclosed ads! You don’t seem to want to discuss or move forward with the issue but just to restate your own position so perhaps you are not getting those benefits from the very act of discussion.

But even when you follow an "ordinary" mum they may have a very different income and so spending capability to yourself.

As I've said before I get the impression that many if the bloggers were quite well off before they started earning through insta. The reason they could do fashion blogs in the first place was because they had the income to be able to spend their free time shopping and blogging about it.

I'd have to be an idiot to try and keep up with for example CLTS spending capability (even disregarding all the freebies and ads).

The difference between Binky + Millie etc. (I also have a terrible weakness for Made in Chelsea) is that although their protein powder advertising might be a bit questionable at times they're fairly straightforward about what they are. They're about aspiration, buying stuff, a glamorous lifestyle. They don't mix that in with campaigns for body positivity or flexible working (I do respect MP and her campaign) they don't endless bang on about how they're showing the reality of motherhood etc. They also don't pretend to be normal I've never seen Millie go on about her washing machine and if she has kids I'm fairly sure we won't see her in the supermarket with them. They are completely vacuous and don't pretend to be anything more than they are. So they're fairly immune to charges of hypocrisy.

@sofialemon yep of course they are mainly minority. It's alright for them to monetise their Kids and enjoy all the perks but why are you trying to stop discussion of such minorities.
I said they didn't tell the older girls about Disney because of the video I found on the internet of telling them and the 'I love you Daddy' in response...
your arguments around child choice are worrying. My 12 year old has no idea what's right for her. Neither does my 19 yr old, my 16 yr old though has a very good head on her shoulders.
I couldn't give a toss if they pay attention or not, I hope someone properly regulates them as in every other area of working children.
No idea who any of those names you mentioned are, reality celebs are a different topic altogether.

Gobbolin not everyone who is self employed has a work premises or even an accountant so where would you suggest they register the business address as?

@Sofialemon I’m not sure this debate has anything to do with wealth...?

It’s not about the stuff, it’s the fact that they are deceiving people I couldn’t care less about the things they have, I am disturbed by blatant school yard behaviour

Faceandpalm my comments about wealth relate to previous posters saying how being on insta led to them maxing out credit cards, or not doing things with their baby as they didn't have "insta worthy clothes".

I use insta in the same way I look at fashion or house mags. It's great for ideas, filling a bit time if you're bored or escapism. Maybe for someone already feeling a bit down, or who is having financial problems or other issues, following well off yummy mummy types with seemingly perfect lives is not the best idea.

@BlueSapp I agree. I find it so disappointing that we can’t have a debate without being accused of jealous behaviour.

If you don't have an accountant (unusual), then you can get a PO Box. If you are a one man band plumber with no social media presence, you might assess your risk as low and use your home address as your registered one as you know all of your customers individually and personally.

If your business is creating pretendy intimate relationships with millions of randoms and posting pictures of your kids in the scud, assess that risk and definitely get a PO box if you don't have an accountant (which you should)

@Sofialemon Oh, I see! Sorry for missing that bit of the thread!

I don't think its unfair to include MOD in these discussions, she is an instamum. She's at the forefront currently as the quantity of brand endorsements and gifts has considerably ramped up. I'm not sure there are many NHS workers on a midwife salary that can afford to take their family to Corfu, then Portugal, then Florida, then St Lucia in the space of a year. And don't forget there was also the Caribbean cruise with DLAM.

Destinology must be stoked at the promotion they're getting for the current trip. She's talked about the book more than the resort. I know I sound bitter, and I don't care, need more chocolate.

@mumofkids those "celebs" I named ate folliwed by many teenage girls and young women. Binky has a baby and often posts about being a new mum, she had the Born in Chelsea series all about it.

Her day to day life didn't seem that different to some of the fashion instamums.

I actually think it must be hard work and very time consuming to keep your insta account fresh and relevant.

I absolutely bet it is. When I'm properly busy at work I can't even think of posting on Instagram.

So what hours are the kids are putting in so that mummy can get the perfect shot? You know they are taking multiple shots of the children each time and most post daily, plus there are stories to shoot and edit.

How long does it take to get the right pose/lighting/arrangement? Are the kids spending time changing into specific outfits? Are they expected to play with specific toys? What if they are grumpy and uncooperative - do they have to be cajoled to get the money shot?

What about when the kids look back at childhood photos - will they know which memories were real and which were promotional shots? 'But darling, we told you when you were eleven that Disney was a work trip! You agreed! Remember??'

We don't send kids down the mines any longer - we've found new and improved ways to exploit them!