To ride the piss tsunami?

[Curiousaboutchoices]

My 6 year old was a very late toilet trainer, on meds for chronic constipation and still leaves it too late for the loo in the day and often has wet pants. Poor child has to drink shitloads (2l) of water a day for the poo issues so there’s a lot to come out.

Day 3 of no pull ups at night. Pull ups weren’t dry in the morning but she had got up a few times to wee in the night over the last few weeks so we jumped on the easter holidays to give it a try. I was a bedwetter, if it doesn’t work we’ll pop her back in and no matter. We are being only very positive.

Night 1- little dribble that woke her in night at 1230am and rest on loo (in bed at 7 so we were impressed she lasted that long!)

Night 2 - big dribble at same time as previous night and less in loo

Night 3 - piss tsunami that she’d obviously slept in for hours but which eventually woke her up at 4am requiring nuclear safety suits and a full hose down to sort her out.

They’ve been in childcare while I work this week so are way more tired than at school (it’s a sports based club). She’s had a quieter day today at home and I’m off now for a few days so hoping it improves if she’s not too tired.

My question is how long do I keep this going for? I’m happy to ride it for as long as she’s happy, which she is as she feels a big girl and only one wee per night so far. Partner feels she’s not ready and we should put her back in pull ups. Eric (continence charity) says a week or more before you backtrack - longer if poss. Any practical experience or ideas from your own bedwetters? How long did you let them wee wee wee before you decided they weren’t ready or, conversely, they got a dry night after being wet?

Would love some reassurance, I’m terrible with night disturbances and can’t continue the current rate of Cadbury’s cream egg consumption for much longer without becoming a Cadbury’s style supersize me experiment. Please reassure me I’m doing the right thing?

The one thing an alarm might help you with is knowing if it's the same time every night.

I wet the bed until I was 15. The we realised that I need a pee at roughly 4.30am. The alarm woke me first. Then I started setting my alarm for 5 mins before that. I now wake naturally, but I still need to wee at that time.

Cutting down fluids just made me feel crap so getting up for 2 minutes (half asleep) was a better solution.

We lifted dd2 each night. As a teen she still goes in the night, mostly still asleep.

We're both diabetic though - has that been discounted as a reason for her peeing a lot?

There is medication for an over active bladder. Has your dc had an ultrasound ? Our dc had several ultrasounds which looked at the bladder in various stages of being filled. This helps check for this and capacity I understand.
I missed the deleted threads but can't understand why people would object to anyone getting support for bed wetting on a parenting site.

I don’t think they have concerns about diabetes but never tested as far as I’m aware. Re overactive bladder, again no checks. Docs have stuck to poo issues and I’ve never even thought to conflate the two issues. I have kind of thought that a) she’s still young and b) she’s like me so it’s only since being referred to the Eric site recently that I’ve even thought about it.

Re overactive bladder, it seems mine must be too then, but would meds just stop me and her going so much? If so, is there any point if it doesn’t cure it? I’m not anti meds per se but I don’t think either of us are inconvenienced to the point of medication. I’m cool with it and with her I think if she went when she needed to and didn’t carrying on playing/watching telly etc, she’d be fine in the day.

Nights aRe different admittedly.

What's she like at school? That would be one of my pushes for trying to sort it. Restricting liquids or having to repeatedly leave class to pee wouldn't be great solutions.

There might come a time when it's not just interrupting tv or playing.

I’ve had similar with my DC. PM’d you

Ex school are fine. She can go when she wants and theY monitor her water intake - she does a litre or so during the school day. So they are fab. We definitely don’t restrict liquid, quite the opposite, all her carers wedge in as much as we can!

I’ll have to ask but not sure how often she leaves to wee but she’s there And back in less than a minute so not missing much. On the basis that we have s close relationship with school and they’ve said nothing I’m guessing it’s not impacting too much?

I should check though so thanks.

It's good they are supportive. Just check they won't be changing their stance when she hits 8/9 (bitter experience) as it can suddenly become an issue that you think you have until high school to sort.

I would be careful with jam as they are 50% sugar and too much sugar can cause constipation.

My daughter is 7.5 and has just been referred for wetting. Apparently they don't consider it unusual until 7. She has been dry for months at a time and then reverts, very odd. We wake her up at 1030ish for a wee when we go to bed, by sometimes she has already wee'd by then.

She wore pull ups until about 6 months ago when she decided she didn't want to any more. We use washable incontinence pads from Amazon, they're huge and wash and tumble well. I tend to double layer for a mid night change if needed.

To add our story... dd is 8. Only referred this year to school nurse. They say shouldn't happen by now in their own patronising way. GP however refused to refer before.

They said increase fluids, check on bowels/output (both of which in see you have in hand!)
Only other thing they can come up with is vaspressin issues which we can get tablets for - but haven't so far.

DD wets around 2/3am, doesnt wake, so it is not sorted until the morning. (We went though the whole guilt over this but it is what it is.)

We use 'brolly sheets' on the bed (only 1 at a time though we have about 5 in rotation)
We then have a 4tog Ikea duvet with a simple cover on it. (Whole duvet in cover plus bedmat and pjs fit in my 9kg washer)
Over that we have nice blankets and a pretty duvet if we need.

She strips off the pjs dumps them on the mat, I collect it all and dump in the washer first thing. We have a couple of change sets so no pressure.

We have had 4yrs of it and no sign of a let up. I decided a year or so ago that we just needed to make it practical and take the pressure off. Hopefully she will grow out of it.

(She uses pyjamas pants for school/brownie etc trips never been a problem.)

DD was going through dry from 3-4, but she and I co-slept. Mattress protector, shedloads of towels, lots of patience. I often woke up soaked. It soon passed. DS... Let's see..6 now, been single 3 years.. Probably about 2-3. But that's competing with big sis.

Thanks for all the comments and all the PMs too, really appreciate it.

Littleowl, can I ask whether the doc or HV suggested putting her back in pull ups if it’s the hormone that’s lacking?

Does anyone know if they can actually test for the level of that hormone?

They suggest not to use pull-up / nappies as they dont let them know they are wet. We used reusable nappies for a while (but they were nicknamed the comedy pants in our house!) But could make her sore, which strangely the wet pj's don't.

Gosh really Owl? So if my daughter is 6, and this could persist til she say 12, that’s 6 years of bed changing nightly. It seems madness that they don’t advise to stick them back in pull ups for 6 months and try again then, letting everyone sleep?

We couldn’t leave her in wee, she’s got incredibly sensitive skin sadly and it would burn. I was the same. So we have to do the checks and change her if she’s wet.

Sounds awful but advising parents to just let them carry on wetting sounds like the sort of advice given by someone who doesn’t understand the actual impact this nightly routine has on families, esp if you have to work the next day. If this goes on for much longer I think I’d have to resolve to put pull ups back on, for everyone’s sleep and sanity?

Feel For you Owl, hope the hormones kick jn for your dd soon.

I think you have to deal with it as you think best. My DD sleeps through it, and is not wet when we go to bed (She is checked at that point) so it would involve setting alarms to check her at 2/3/4am(!). Obviously if she wakes up wet then she wakes us and we change everything then.

To be honest in your situation, with the extra fluids and known bowel issues already being investigated, I would stick her back in the nappies now, before she decides to object to the idea of them (as my dd did - I think partly as they were making her sore because we couldn't get a good fit).

I would then leave her in them until she objects or she is showing good signs of dryness - I.e. consistently dry overnight for a week or more. Or at the very least the bowel issues are resolved - rather than managed.

It really is about picking your battles and working with your dd. For us the nappies were no longer an option (She was about 5/6 at this point), so we accepted that we couldn't change her instantly and be functioning ourselves and resolving the washing so it became part of the day rather than feelimg like a nightmare. (And believe me it was for a long time).

I use sheet then waterproof sheet then duvet. Saves duvet

DS now 42 wasn’t dry at night till 11yo. DGS is 10 and in nighttime pull-ups. It’s a family thing, males in extended family aren’t dry at night till puberty.

Dri-nites do pull ups up to age 14.
Waterproof mattress protector, disposable bed mat over that, then fitted sheet.

Dd was like this by 9. Dr gave her a short course of dermopressin which kicked in her body's own night time weeing suppression.

Meant to add she's now 15 and not had a wet bed since.

@Curiousaboutchoices only just got my little bedwetter dry at just turned 9.

With regard to letting them wet and then putting them back in pull-ups - I was advised to do two-week stints. We did this a few times to no avail.

We tried the desmopressin - made no difference. As school nurse explained to me, if it has no effect, then it's not the lack of hormones that's the problem.

We finally had success with an alarm. I believe it was the brain/bladder connection or signals that was the problem for us. He simply did not wake to a full bladder or to lying in a bed soaked in wee! But the alarm did the trick.

At 6yo, I wouldn't worry. Try again in a few months. The school nurse told me it's common till the age of 8. But no one talks about it so we all think we're doing something wrong.

Good luck!

Oh wonderful post wine, thank you. I’m on day 5 (night?) and she’s dry now 4.5 hours after going to bed.... I’m just waiting for it though.

I know she’s only 6 but if it’s two week chunks you were recommended to follow should I continue for the rest of the Easter holidays? That would be two weeks in all. I wouldn’t hesitate but we have family staying for Easter and my kids will be sharing a room so it’s a but more hassle but if that’s the recommended period then I’m tempted to stick with it. Otherwise what was the point in th last 5 nights?

Heads - that too is a really encouraging story. They are all so different aren’t they and it’s trial and error with everyone’s success story being slightly different, so interesting if it weren’t so goddamn shattering. I’ve already put the detergent into the washing machine... I feel prepared for it all now and this thread has really been super helpful and supportive so thank you so much.

Little owl - thank you. If this doesn’t work I’llmdefo put her back in pull ups but I’m tempted to see how this goes whilst she is cooperative and happy and in fact capitalise on her not wanting to put pull ups back on. Her being positive is so important. She’s a good girl, she might not want to put them back on after 2weeksnif she’s wet still but she wouldn’t refuse, she’d take our advice I think if other stuff is anything to go by. As long as she has an explanation for the decision and it’s logical she’d be cool.

OH MY GOD! She just got up while husband was doing teeth, went for a sleepy wee, and toddled back to bed. I don’t think I was this happy when she was born if I’m honest! I do think I may have disturbed her though as I checked her again as I was going to bed but I’m still taking it as a win!!! (It’s not though if I roused her by accident though is it...)

She’s still clearly bloody producing night time wee though. I wish I’d been there to see how much came out. My husband is being very vague and nonchalant about it when I want an estimation in millilitres based on duration and sound effects. Apparently I’ve gone over to the bad place.

Yeah!
One week in, DS got out of bed when alarm sounded didn't get as far as bathroom but it is progress. I am really tired and cannot imagine how I survived the baby years of disturbed sleep.
This thread has been most encouraging.