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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To sit here and quietly seethe with resentment

104 replies

BoobleMcB · 29/03/2018 15:20

...about the bloody person who has come and sat at the end of my admittedly longer than i need table at lunch when there are literally DOZENS of empty tables (including numerous long tables like mine)?!

OP posts:

Ellyess · 30/03/2018 19:11

calzone I think she was scared of being on her own. Or maybe she though you have to start filling up the room from wherever it has been started? Or...most likely! She was after your DS's popcorn!

Ellyess · 30/03/2018 19:13

Lindsxxx Couldn't agree more! I think it's an anti-social act. Should be forbidden on public street or within 10 metres of children....

sizeofalentil · 30/03/2018 19:19

There’s a couple of nearly always empty eateries/coffee places in my town with discrete seating nooks so I go there to get a coffee and food and discreetly breastfeed. Without fail, despite the entirely empty two room restaurant, someone will sit a seat away from me. Last time it was three businessmen who got out laptops and started bellowing in to their phones.

The time before the people even had the cheek to bitch to their dining companion that I was in the seat that they’d wanted. 😂

Time before that, when I was with three other breastfeeding mums, a guy seated his group next to us then bitched to his friends that there where babies there. We were there first and there were seats everywhere!

Original poster

BoobleMcB · 30/03/2018 19:20

@kimanda fair enough, like I say, I'd have loved to have got up and moved but was scared of looking rude and/or weird 😂

But in the flip side, I've been to a few places to eat or whatever where you have to sit with strangers, either on long tables or due to capacity etc, and actually had the best time! Meet some interesting people and have a laugh etc.

OP posts:

userofthiswebsite · 30/03/2018 19:21

This happens to me on the treadmill. They could choose any other treadmill but insist on getting on the one next to me.
One chap yesterday got on one next to me, though plenty of others were available, used it for some time, then went away for a while doing something else I suppose in the gym, and lo and behold came back 20 mins or so later and decided to situate himself right next to me, yet again even though there were still plenty of other free ones!

I sometimes wonder when people are doing this if they are getting a kick out of making people uncomfortable...

Nearlyadad · 30/03/2018 19:52

A bloke once sat opposite me on an otherwise empty carriage as I got a train into Leeds once (from Halifax; half an hour). We had quite an enjoyable chat, mostly about him getting the train over in the eighties to fight thugs who were out to beat up gay men/transvestites. I think if he asked if he could sit with me though (was ~10 years ago)

Agree the rest of these are odd. Especially the one who wanted to sit between a couple in an empty cinema. Lol at finding your car twin. Might start doing that

PurplePotatoes · 30/03/2018 19:56

I used to be the first person on an empty bus every morning and every morning the same guy would get on at the next stop, ignore all the other empty seats and sit next to me near the back. It was really uncomfortable and weird. To make matters worse he used to make a point of leaning slightly away from me as if he couldn't bear to touch arms with me. It was so odd.

goingslightlycrazy · 30/03/2018 20:07

Ok, I do u think you're all being pretty unaccommodating here.

I have experience of working with adults with autism. Many of these adults would choose the seat/place nearest the one other adult in a room.

My DD has autism, I fear for her future when I read this type of thread

ShortandAnnoying · 30/03/2018 20:10

It's funny you mentioned autism because I know some autistic people who are the opposite and would want plenty of personal space.

cheminotte · 30/03/2018 20:13

Surely autism isn’t that common that it would explain all these examples?

ProperLavs · 30/03/2018 20:24

I actually remember doing this to someone else on a train. Empty carriages, we sat down( lots of kids with me) then I noticed there was a woman in the opposite seat. She moved. i don't blame her. I honestly hadn't registered that she was there. I hate sitting near people if I can help it.

user1499333856 · 30/03/2018 20:24

I move when this happens. I just don't care.

ProperLavs · 30/03/2018 20:25

Most autistic people ( including me and one dd) want lots of personal space.

crazycatgal · 30/03/2018 20:27

@goingslightlycrazy Why do you fear for your daughter's future? People are entitled to move away if they're alone and someone comes and sits near them. As long as nothing rude is said then what's the problem?

Rainbowsandunicornsandpoop · 30/03/2018 20:31

A few years back, I'd catch the bus every morning and the same woman would get on at the next stop, scan the seats and always sit next to me.
She'd get off a couple of stops before, then smile and wave at me through the window.
This went on for a few weeks, until one day I decided to interact and asked her if I knew her from somewhere.
She said no, but I looked just like her daughter who'd passed away ten years earlier!
In regards to the autism post-my Son is autistic and would hate to sit with anyone else. He puposely avoids other people. But, it is a spectrum and people are different.
And to the whole point of the post, YANBU if it made you feel uncomfortable.
And this is why I don't comment often. I waffle on lol

WoofWoofMooWoof · 30/03/2018 20:31

I've had the parking thing a number of times, usually parking so close that I have to get in the passenger side and climb over to the driver's side - grrrrrr I've never keyed or kicked the offending car.

As for the sitting next to me thing - I don't have that problem - I'm fat you see. Fat is contagious. People avoid you. Even on a crowded bus the seat next to me will be empty, as people don't want to 'catch' the fat I suppose .

goingslightlycrazy · 30/03/2018 20:33

@crazycatgal
I'm saying that my DD may be a little kooky & I hope that people are able accommodate her in her adult life.

There are lots of undiagnosed adults/adults with additional needs.

All I'm saying is that everything I have read indicates that the 'invader' is a weirdo

tinyme77 · 30/03/2018 20:38

I can't stand it when people queuing behind me feel the need to press up against me. Why do they not feel uncomfortable touching a stranger?

famousfour · 30/03/2018 20:41

Bloody weird most of it. I had something similar on an aeroplane. I was with my sub-2 year old on my knee on a long haul flight really hoping to luck out with a free seat next to me. A youngish guys sat next to me. There was the identical seat free on the other side of the aisle. I hinted desperately but he just didn't move. I mean who wants to spend a long haul flight next to a toddler anyway?! I can only think he felt it would be rude to move and I should have asked him straight out from the start... but it becomes too awkward after a while and it never occurred to me he would run as fast as he could to the spare seat... 11 hours!

famousfour · 30/03/2018 20:42

Wouldn't run as fast as he could...

Glittermakeseverythingbetter · 30/03/2018 20:43

We went to a beach in the summer. It wasn't a particularly hot day, so not going to be overcrowded. There were 2 rows of about 30 pairs of sunloungers, separated by windbreaks. We unpacked our stuff onto a pair in the front row, as I didn't want anyone spoiling my view of the sea, and just knew someone would park themselves in front of me otherwise. There was just one set of loungers to my right, and then a long stretch of them to my left, and behind. My children and dh went down to the sea, while I settled down with a book. Moments later, a mum, dad, 2 grandparents, toddler twins and a newborn sat in the only set available on my right. The toddler twins proceeded to dig sand, and winge right in front of me, and the newborn was crying.
Dh came back, and couldn't believe it, and asked if I wanted to move, but I felt it would look really rude, as we had all our towels and picnic things set out!

kimanda · 30/03/2018 21:59

Why are people worried about 'looking rude' by moving?

These people are the ones being rude by invading your space. Rude AND weird. As I said, I don't give a fuck. I don't even know them!

And yeah, people in supermarkets piss me off too with their weird 'stalking' behaviour. Standing 2 inches away from me whilst I am looking at something on the shelf, and nudging me when I am trying to put my stuff on the conveyor belt at the checkout.

FUCK.

OFF!!!!!!!!

Prussiablue · 30/03/2018 22:34

I will park near the exit in a certain shopping centre regardless of whether the car park is full or not. If there's a space at that certain spot I will park there. It's total convenience

JanKind · 30/03/2018 22:53

Yep.

ichifanny · 30/03/2018 23:00

I must be rude ( not sure I care though ) as I’ve said ‘ excuse me there are loads of free tables’ to someone when they did this to me .

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