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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset that my old employees reference cost me my new job ?!

53 replies

stuckintheblastingsnow · 29/03/2018 14:34

Posted this on Chat but figured I would get more traffic here.

I am a bit upset. I applied for a new job, got invited for an interview, the new job contacted me and said “ We really liked you etc. But you have been unsuccessful—- I asked “Thanks blah blah, why have I been unsuccessful — they replied “You fitted our profile and you came across well in your interview, but we had a few concerns with one of your references, especially with reliability”.

To give a backstory. I joined a school, on a voluntary basis, this was part of getting onto a course which I needed experience in, before they can accept me onto the course.

Anyway, I joined this school, met with one of the managers, at the voluntary place, she agreed to take me on, though specifically requested I work for two days, but on specific days, Thursday and Monday. I told her, the other day would be fine, but Thursday would be really difficult as that’s the day that I agreed for my course interviews to take place, but school meetings so forth, as Thursday is the only free day I have. I also worked part time elsewhere. The manager seemed to have understood and said “If you have any interviews and other things taking place on Thursdays, that would be fine, we’ll see you when you can make Thursdays.

Fast forward now, I’ve been getting a couple of interviews from the courses I applied to, which of course took place on Thursdays. Warned the school prior about it etc. I also felt a weird vibe around the manager. For example, she would sulk if I was seen chatting to one of her best friend, who is also a colleague. She would snap at me if I do something wrong, she always had a mood around me. Plus, looked very shocked when I told her best friend, as both me and her have applied to the same course, “That I got into the course”. Anyway, I didn’t let it all that bother me.

Just last week, I received an email from that same manager telling me “That they were letting me go as they’ve got a high amount of volunteers and they would like to give everyone a chance to volunteer as they don’t want too many people working in the school, thought happy to give a reference etc”.

Fair enough. However, I was a bit shocked as it was out of the blue and no way did the manager tell me that the placement would only be for a certain of months. I sensed bullshit and emailed back to the manager... something over the lines of “I assume I’m being let go because of missing my Thursdays placement... though I did warn you that such and such were conducting on these days, plus if you (she) had any concerns I would of appreciated if you spoke to me about it. We could of discussed alternative days etc”.

The manager emailed back and said that basically I got the wrong end of the stick.

Back to my original OP. I am a bit upset. My current part time job gave me a good reference, I have been working there for years, but really upset the reference, coming from the manager at the school, cost me this job.

Should I just let it go? I really want to request to see the reference, that the manager at the school wrote about me. I did ask the job I applied to, if I could see the reference. However, they told me that “they shred every unsuccessful references”.
hmm

Apart of me just wants to let this go and move on.

OP posts:
MrsJoshDun · 29/03/2018 14:37

I know for employers there’s rules about poor references, they should only be factual. It doesn’t sound like yours was, or was only half the facts. I know people have taken legal action before but not sure how that stands with voluntary positions. And obviously doesn’t help with this specific job.

fruitbrewhaha · 29/03/2018 14:40

I think you should post this on the legal page.
An employer must give a fair and factual reference or they can be liable.
I would ask the school for a copy or what they have written.
Acas may be a good place to start, give them a call they are very helpful.

BrownTurkey · 29/03/2018 14:40

I think it would be worth replying politely that you have looked into the problem with your reference and give your explanation - ask if they would consider seeking further references and supply them just in case. That does seem unfair, if what you say is correct.

YourWanMajella · 29/03/2018 14:42

It's possible that from her point of view it is accurate and factual. They wanted you to work mon and thurs, you needed them for your course (which means its not strictly a volunteer basis), but you couldn't actually work the days they wanted you to? How many thursdays did you actually do?

stuckintheblastingsnow · 29/03/2018 14:43

Should I ask the old employee to have a look at the reference she wrote about me ? Or ask the new job ? I doubt the new job would consider me now as they are looking for someone to start ASAP.

OP posts:
QuizzlyBear · 29/03/2018 14:44

It's not legal to give a 'negative' reference - you can refuse to give one or you can offer only the facts of employment (salary, hours worked, sick days etc) but you can't say anything negative.

Is there another person at the school you could ask to provide you with a reference in future? Perhaps you have someone there you could discuss it with openly - HR rep or similar?

YourWanMajella · 29/03/2018 14:44

Do you mean employer? Which they weren't really anyway if you were not employed.
your post is quite confusing, its difficult to see what the requirements were on both sides and who is in the wrong.

YourWanMajella · 29/03/2018 14:45

t's not legal to give a 'negative' reference - you can refuse to give one or you can offer only the facts of employment (salary, hours worked, sick days etc) but you can't say anything negative

This is a total (but widespread) myth. You can of course give a negative reference. You just have to be able to objectively prove the accuracy of it.

almondcroissantplease · 29/03/2018 14:47

I would actually raise it with the old manager and point out the facts and state that the reference was unfair as you had been clear from the start. If she was difficult, I'd go to HR and ask for the reference policy and explain the situation.

Even though you missed out on the interview I would send an email thanking him for the interview and explain that you are really disappointed, that the reference was unfair, and that you have taken it up with ex manager. Don't go too much into it or you'll like like you are trying to make excuses.

ChickenMom · 29/03/2018 14:47

Don’t use them again

almondcroissantplease · 29/03/2018 14:48

Any email evidence of your discussions about working the Thursday would be useful.

stuckintheblastingsnow · 29/03/2018 14:48

Your I could work on Mondays, I did express to her that Thursdays would be very difficult because of the reasons I put in my original
OP. She seemed ok about it. It was on a voluntary basis, but the experience would look good for my course application. I volunteered there for 7 months but did miss 5 Thursdays, I applied to 7 courses and was offered many interviews . So this was my fault.

OP posts:
PalePinkSwan · 29/03/2018 14:48

@QuizzlyBear - of course it’s legal to give a negative reference. The risk you run, as an employer, is that if your former employee thinks the reference is unfair then they can sue you. If you give a falsely positive reference you could be sued by a new employer who had relied on it. You just have to give an accurate reference.

flumpybear · 29/03/2018 14:49

I'd be inclined to speak to their HR department as I think she's given inaccurate information, you're a volunteer and the Thursday was always a day that may not be possible
But they agreed to it when they took you ok - they can't then get the hump when you don't go in for the reasons previously discussed and agreed upon

stuckintheblastingsnow · 29/03/2018 14:50

Your!Grin My post is confusing. I don’t know the technical work terms.

OP posts:
stuckintheblastingsnow · 29/03/2018 14:53

flumpy Could I request to see the reference that the manager wrote about me ?

OP posts:
ChasedByBees · 29/03/2018 14:54

I would speak to their HR and request a copy of the reference. You could also forward the email about working on Thursdays to the potential job. Almond has some good wording. I would be considering legal advice too.

QuiteLikely5 · 29/03/2018 14:56

I would ring the employer back and tell her what you have told us.

She’s sounds resentful and jealous.

PattiStanger · 29/03/2018 14:56

Firstly do you have to put a voluntary position down as a reference?

If you do, was it a maintained school? Could you contact tha LA and ask to see what would be given as your reference - would it be a standard one or specifically written each time it was asked for.

ChasedByBees · 29/03/2018 14:56

Of course you can request it.
See the last paragraph here:

m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=5072

stuckintheblastingsnow · 29/03/2018 14:57

Chased Unfortunately, her accepting that Thursdays would be difficult for me, was said in a personal interview. Not over email. So I have no written evidence.

I’m not sure who the HR is at the school ? Could I request it from the Head Teacher ?

OP posts:
stuckintheblastingsnow · 29/03/2018 14:59

Patti I thought it would look good on my CV, just to show the range of experiences.

It’s a private school.

OP posts:
TomRavenscroft · 29/03/2018 15:00

I agree with flumpy.

I'd also ask for a candid chat with the job you applied for and explain it to them.

rjay123 · 29/03/2018 15:00

Is it an LA controlled school or an academy?

stuckintheblastingsnow · 29/03/2018 15:01

Chase Can I request to the school, where I volunteered, to see the reference and Copy in the manager ?

OP posts:
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