I've found out what hell is is and it's your kid wanting to play pretend ALL the time

[cabb]

Dd is 2yr5m, is very outgoing and sociable and has never been able to entertain herself but I've kind of accepted this now, but her latest thing is playing pretend and it's ALL she wants to do.
Shall we play bricks? No, be the mermaid!
Shall we do some drawing? No mummy be the mermaid!
How about some puzzles? BE THE MERMAID

Oh god, I mean I actually don't mind doing a bit of role play but it's definitely the most draining and pre 9am and after being up in the night with her little brother it's really hard to throw myself into the acting required to BE THE MERMAID.

AIBU?

caffeine

Same here DD now 7. What age does it end? We go swimming together and the whole time we’re there I have to be her sister the mermaid. I never get to say anything really as she spends the whole time explaining the story set up to me and the part I have in the game. “ pretend.... then pretend you ....”

I used to have to be the stegosaurus. If I was lucky I could arrange it so my death and subsequent fossilisation took place on the sofa.

It’s a contraceptive in its own right.

Oh wait I just remembered "characters".

We didn't role play we did "characters". I would make up voices for her toys to try to encourage imaginary play but it could never be too much of an unlikely scenario. Dd is obsessed by octopuses so it was all octopuses having parties, getting lost, going to school, running away to the park, having arguments and I had to get the voices right for each one; a different voice for ten different plush octopuses of all ages and personalities and god forbid I did the wrong voice for the wrong toy

caffeine my ds used to use language from TV programmes but would apply it appropriately so "do you want a pear ds?" Ds "No thanks! And I am getting tired of your silly jokes!" - Peppa and so on

My grandson wanted me to read Bear Hunt several times a day while he acted out the various scenes and at the end I had to be the bear, chase him round the house and retire bemused while he hid under the bed clothes. Once is sweet, twice is acceptable but by the tenth reading the words ‘swishy swashy ‘ acquire new and sinister meanings.

Annie

Staffies yes, there was much death in our house too, which involved lying on the bed for as long as possible.

Clarkson, though, that's a new low.

YABU

it's board games.

The same ones AGAIN AND AGAIN.

monopoly junior (lasts for hours)
Frustration (speaks for itself)
Twister ( I fart when I move)

OMG, this has made me shudder at the memory. The endless hours of playing shopper and shopkeeper with the toy till and loads of packets from the kitchen. Or having to pretend to be a cat. OMG.

The least unbearable was when DD became obsessed with her doctor kit as PP's have said.

I'm just terrible at it and hate it.

Top Gear would have sent me over the edge!

Oh god yes. I have to be a truck that goes to the park then home for dinner and straight to bed. There's a strict routine, he's like a tiny Gina Ford for wheeled toys.

Have tried wearing the game out, but turns out he can play much longer than I can stand.

MsGame DD does that too! It's always appropriate but in the most bizarre situations. She'll get into the car and go 'Oh look Max, a window seat!'

I used to have to be Gummy the shark and Ds was my mother. Having had to listen to the hell that isYou Tube videos this morning. I want to be Gummy again.

It’s a contraceptive in its own right.

lolcats

This thread has bought back so many memories. The lying down pretend games were fine. The pretend I'm a broken down car and you fix me games got a little bit wearying!

Ds1 was crazy about history when he was young - he loved Horrible Histories.

One day we were in a car park after visiting a waterfall and he was running around on the grass mounds yelling “play Romans with me mummy” over and over again whilst I tried to drink tea

I empathise with every single one of you. Currently experiencing endless non-existent cups of tea and cake, she has real wooden ones but apparently the invisible high tea is much more realistic. "Mumma, be a cat...be Waffle....no Mummy I WANT TO BE WAFFLE!!..Tea Mumma? Want watch Waffle...WAFFLE!!...eat your cake Mummy...WAFF...."

Repeat ad infinitum until you seriously contemplate gin at 9.30am, I don't even like gin

Oh yes my ds did scripted play. Generally characters from books but coming up with his own storylines he struggled with. He would have some original plots but they always went the same way. Strangely enough I think he struggled with the things adults do - not knowing what to do or when it would be over.

Must admit though, Waffle can be a lifesaver. Don't mind him and the kids or even Hobb-Bobbs, but Simon is just eeuurghh and Jess is just too bloody unstressy and happy I want too cry.
Sorry, Waffle rant over.

I'm never ever going to recover from the hours and hours of being the voice for every single Fireman Sam character

Woe betide me if I didn't get Tom fucking Thomas's stupid Australian accent exactly right.

Also my welsh accent sounds like I'm being racist, so despite many demands I had to avoid doing it in public!

Luckily I have two and they play extremely complicated imaginative games together. I didn't mind it too much when they were younger and I had to play with DS - he tended to forget about me and I could slink off. DD only wanted me there to hold dolls - if I actually participated it was always wrong.

Nowadays I'll play pretend every now and again but it's totally on my terms and I'm always a monster who throws them around and tickles them. They don't ask very much because I'm a total handful and very badly behaved - they have to be in the mood for me because they know what they're in for. I quite enjoy it, it's good exercise and it's so exhausting for them that they don't want to do it very long - win! I even offer to play sometimes but they won't let me because I'm too disruptive - double win!

Every time he has a bath ds wants to play with the spiders (my hands!) Cue spiders having to renact whatever ds has done at swimming this week whilst he shouts instructions e.g. "spider keep scooping your arms and kicking your legs or you'll sink, other spider go and fetch the toy, no spider the duck not the turtle....." Every sodding day!

Pretend to be sleeping beauty and take a nap

I'm sorry to break this news to those who think their pretend play days are over. Wait until the grandkids come along!!! It all starts again with a bang except this time getting up off the floor is more difficult and their sweet pleadings for more tear your heart out. Also you can't as easily open the back door and throw them out to play when they are just visiting for 2 days. And their rules change and become more complicated from visit to visit. But its fun too.

@PugwallsSummer

Snorted my coffee at the vision of you as "Princess Sparkle Mane" trotting gracefully out to the bins.

OP, do mermaids actually DO anything apart from sort of float lie about the place?

Anyway, they need their tails feet massaged regularly as otherwise their circulation stops and they die - or so I've heard ...