I spend too much time thinking about notes I might send to people if I had the courage/was a meaner person

[AGuiltyFeminist]

I know this doesn't make me sound very nice but does anyone else fantasise far too frequently about certain people receiving anonymous mail letting them know what you would never say to their face?

I try not to, because ultimately the people I’d have ever cause to write to, are better out of my life.

I do have something I’d like to say to my SIL though (the whole family are NC with us) in response to a shitty remark over a decade ago.

We once got an anonymous note telling us that the person living in our rented house was not living there alone, and they knew our father if he was still alive would not have approved! Only thing is, we don’t own another house, or have the foggiest who they were talking about 😁.

I think its a normal part of human psychology to have revenge fantasies though OP, I think you’re OK. Maybe you could be more assertive and less passive aggressive in your revenge fantasies though?

That's odd brownturkey!
I sometimes think that I should just send one in particular as I think about it at least once a day, I know they would be hurt but I just think this particular person is such a smug bastard and needs bringing down a peg or two!

Good to know that I am normal

I regularly play conversations out in my head that I wish I'd had, or could have, with people. I don't fantasise about writing to them, though, just telling them off in a withering, brilliant way without stuttering or losing my thread or bursting into tears. Ideally with an audience who would stand and applaud and cheer and buy me congratulatory drinks

Yes. Always to do with parking. Parking on corners, school crossing. Driveway blocking. I'm < > this close!

Do it do it do it 😬

Actually maybe don’t take my advice I am not v reliable

sinceyouask - I'm the same. 😳

I have revenge fantasies quite often at the moment, we've had a pretty shitty 18 months, caused by a few family members. I think it's a healthy way to cope, as obviously I wouldn't actually follow through with them,

I frequently have the urge to leave a note on one of the neighbours cars. Just pointing out that they don't actually need eleventy billion fucking cars clogging up our street and maybe they could sell/scrap some of them instead of buying more with a vague intention of 'doing them up at some point'

What stops you mycat?
I'm very close brownturkey but only because it's getting on my nerves thinking about it and maybe I'll stop thinking about it if I send the nasty note!

Since you ask same here. Sometimes I am so shocked and disgusted by what others say I go mute .

Not so much a note, but I often mutter imaginary conversations I would like to say if I was meaner/braver. I'm not a confrontational person so I do sometimes feel a bit two faced when I'd reallylike to tear them off a strip but end up smiling sweetly instead. But then again, I'm probably better off keeping quiet

I did see a Facebook post that said "My therapist says I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them, I've taken his advice but he never said what I should do with the letters"

I wrote a long text message to an ex friend today after she popped up out of nowhere to tell me why she wasn’t friends with me. Completely out of the blue and a nasty character assassination of me.

Then I deleted it and just ignored and blocked her. Don’t give any power to these people. I’m so glad I didn’t reply to her now

Not so much these days because it's unhealthy. I don't like confrontation and I've lost out on a few friendships over the years because rather than talking issues through with the odd friend I felt treated me badly, I let everything simmer under the surface resenting them and then eventually just exploded at them. I found that quite hard to come back from.

These days I try to be more mindful of how I deal with things, so if I feel someone has treated me badly then I'll think about it for a bit before saying anything, but if I think I've been legitimately wronged or someone is doing something offensive then after I've calmed down I will try to be assertive and address it with them in a mature way, face to face.

I think half the reason I used to fantasise about saying things to people rather than dealing with it was because I didn't have the confidence to be assertive. I still find it hard but it's better than leaving things until you end up blowing up at the person or worse still let yourself get treated like a doormat. If you have a reasonable reason be a bit peeved at someone then if you explain it well then half the time they will be able to handle that...and if they can't they're not worth knowing anyway!

Yes...the clique at work who have seen off FOUR perfectly nice colleagues in the last year

I'm really pissed off because there is just no bloody NEED for them to be so unpleasant, what does it achieve?

Can't say anything though cos I still need to work there.

Are you aware of glitterbombing, op?

Never sent one, but overheard that a nasty individual I know had received one. It was a nice thing to overhear!

What's glitter bombing?

OP, you are considering sending a poison pen letter because someone is a bit smug? What do you do when people are actually truly nasty. I hope I don't cross you

Oh god yes glitter bombing

Do it do it do it

Notes?

I have full blown imaginary arguments in my head with people when I reminisce about past encounters where I got fucked over or spoken to like shit. I am hilariously and naturally witty in these re-imagined encounters and am the king of put-downs leaving the person tongue tied and looking like a twat. Or times when I'm really rich and powerful and have to interview on a panel an old boss down on their luck desperate for work and I ask questions that highlight their previous shitty behaviour to make them squirm before saying not a chance.

^^ I realise I may be slightly deranged reading this back.

Maybe I will just think about notes too from now on.

I wouldn't really find anonymous notes very satisfying. I sometimes think about what I'd say to people's faces were I brave enough.

I fantasise about sending anonymous notes to my ex neighbours.... pretentious snobby cunts that they were.

We have lovely neighbours now