I spend too much time thinking about notes I might send to people if I had the courage/was a meaner person

[AGuiltyFeminist]

I know this doesn't make me sound very nice but does anyone else fantasise far too frequently about certain people receiving anonymous mail letting them know what you would never say to their face?

I’ve sometimes written out emails I would like to send (in the notes app on my phone so there’s no danger of accidentally sending them!) usually to managers at work when I’m pissed off about something. It’s cathartic to get it out in a torrent and it hurts no one because no one else will ever read it.

In years gone by I might have said something or sent emails but I’ve matured enough to judge my ranting better now

Churlish of me, but I fantasise about sending a copy of my two poetry collections to the teacher who told me I couldn't write poetry, with a note attached saying "Enjoy!"

@AGuiltyFeminist

Glitterbombing is a service whereby you spend a small amount of money (less than a fiver I think) with a company who sends the object of your ire a card containing loose glitter - which goes EVERYWHERE - and a note.

I think you can now say whatever you want in the note, but I think with the original company who invented it, the note said something like 'You are just such an asshole that someone went out of their way to send you this card. Congratulations!'

There's something very satisfying thinking about the arsehole angrily cleaning up glitter.

Truthfully, i wrote a very bitter letter in my head to my sister ( who has behaved really badly, IMO) in my head for about 3 years. Maybe longer. Then I just stopped thinking about it, and decided her behaviour was her problem, not mine, and that I couldn't change her.

I'm not sure how I got there- talking to a couple of friends helped, plus the passage of time.

I think half the reason I used to fantasise about saying things to people rather than dealing with it was because I didn't have the confidence to be assertive. This is very true for lots of people imo.

AGuiltyFeminist it's not that I think you're a bad person for having that fantasy but it's really unhealthy to stew about these things to the point you think about it so frequently. If you were to actually do it though I'd think you were nasty and cowardly. I do realise it's only a fantasy though !

I definitely think it comes down to lack of confidence and seeing assertive as confrontational, something I see quite often on MN and with some RL friends. A lot of people would feel much better about themselves and their interactions with other people if they could learn how to communicate effectively rather than avoiding the issue (often telling themselves that they're being the bigger person) and then feeling resentful or frustrated.

@CaoNiMa oh please please do it.

I drew really unflattering caricatures of people I hate from work and wrote down all the stupid things they have said and done. Childish I know but it made me feel better

She has the OP sent the poison pen letter yet?

No, I don't. I'm quite good at saying things firmly to people's face if I feel strongly enough about it. And quite good at letting it go if I don't.

My dd told me that she got a mysterious text from someone telling her that they were sorry to have to tell her that bf was out with another woman in our home town at that very moment. (DD is 100 miles away at Uni).

He was lying next to her on her bed at the time! Presumably as it was mid week they didn't think he would have nipped over to see her for the evening.

I find it therapeutic.