To get annoyed at the pressure to buy a house?

[Bexicle22]

We rent. I’ve always rented. I haven’t had the opportunity to save the kind of money needed to buy a house. My parents are very old fashioned, especially my dad. He says we HAVE to buy a house.

I don’t mind renting. We recently moved into a new build and pay less than £500 for 2 bedrooms, nice little garden for my daughter etc. Any time anyone comes to the house, they say how jealous they are as it is such a lovely place. It’s owned by a large housing group so we are fortunate to not have to worry about it being sold from under us as the company only rents the houses out unlike private landlords who can sell at any time. We don’t have a lot of disposable income and so knowing we have the added security of having things paid for should they break is also good.

My dad is always nagging me. He said that renting is dead money. He’s right, I know. He said we should be saving for a deposit for a house instead of going on holiday, eating out and whatever. I personally would rather live my life, have a little break away in the sun with my family. We aren’t jetting off to Dubai, maybe a week in Spain as it’s all we can afford. I feel like I can never say anything about anything we have spent money on as we will get a lecture. My dad truly believes that because we both work, we simply need to go to the bank and we will be given a mortgage, like it’s just that easy. To buy a house similar or better than the one we rent now here, we would need a deposit of about £15,000. My credit is terrible and my partner’s isn’t much better. We work very hard but earn less than £20k before tax between us a year.

Is my dad right, is buying a house the be all and end all of life? Is it an absolute necessity? Should we be putting our lives on hold for the next few years in order to save every spare penny we have so we can buy, even though we are perfectly happy where we are?

I just do not see the point. Ok, you'll own a house but it'll have to be sold if you need social care and if people all just 'had houses', wouldn't they be being passed on when people die? The interest on a 25yr mortgage is also 'dead' money. I don't get it personally.

Your life/family your decision. The beauty of renting is repairs cost nowt. We bought for the first time a few months ago...... we have already had to shell out for stuff to be done

Oh and if your dad is that keen ask him to stump up the deposit and associated costs!

It would be very difficult for you to get a mortgage so your dad is wasting his breath.
If you are happy as things are then you should stay as you are. It's lovely if you can buy a house but it sounds like you feel more secure as you are.

If your work pensions will allow you to continue to pay rent into your seventies, eighties and possibly nineties then all is good. A lot of people don’t have those pensions though and need another asset to just continue living beyond retirement. I’m going to live in a caravan or in a commune I think if the money runs out.

Do be mindful of becoming a burden in your old age. So long g as you are saving money in some way so that you will have somewhere to live/afford to eat etc. I don't think that it really matters whether you own or rent.

There's no long term security in private rental. I think YABU to sound blase about poor credit scores and lack of savings when you have a child.

If your landlord gave you notice tomorrow do you have enough savings for a new deposit and months rent in advance to secure a new property? Would you and your partner pass a letting agent's credit check?

I didn't mind renting, I didn't mind owning.

For me, I found renting less stressful when something went wrong.

It wasn't mine to sort out or stump up for and if something went on nearby that meant we no longer wanted to be there, we knew it wouldn't be too hard to just give notice and move on.

Owning means we can put our own stamp on our place and extend for a growing family if needed, but when things need fixings it's ours to sort.
And if something nearby happens that makes us want to move areas it's a much longer and stressful process to sell and buy again.

Financially, and this may just be dependent on the area I live (se), my mortgage is far cheaper on our house than the rent was on our little flat.

We've only been here a year but have already paid off around £8k from the mortgage and when it comes round to remortgaging we will have options of either reducing the term so it's paid off sooner or reducing the monthly payment so it's even cheaper still.
Should we ever hit financial difficulties we can take a mortgage holiday (not nessecarily advisable but gives security).

I have people who might be jealous that we own, but I might be jealous of someone renting an all mod cons no worries place too.

In the grand scheme of things we all need somewhere to live and that's what's most important

Renting is fine when you're both earning, but what happens when you're too old to work full-time and your pension won't cover your rent and living costs?

I personally want the security of somewhere to live when I've retired and I'm thankful that DP and I have been able to buy in our twenties.

In all honesty I don't know what we would do if we were starting out today. The past 2 decades has seen truly massive spikes in house values.
We were fortunate to buy before the boom (1999) at the time it didn't feel very fortunate, we were both scared shitless at the amount of debt we were getting into.
Who could have seen what was to follow??
Today we couldn't afford to buy either...not a prayer. Both me and DP have discussed this many times and we both agree that if we were starting out today we'd probably try to get on the council listings.
It's all well your dad saying buy buy!!
Thing is unless you've got cash how on earth on you supposed to save the deposit whilst living together and working and heavens forbid you already have the expense of kids.

The baby boomers need to reflect just how fortunate they were.
Free dental care
Free Eye care
Cheap fuel
Cheap utilities
Cheap housing
Fabulous pensions
It goes on and on and on

I'm not surprised you're sick of hearing.

You can claim housing benefit to pay your rent when you're of pension age if you have no other income.

Renting is not "dead money". It's paying for a service like any other. At the top end of the market it's often much cheaper than buying too.

We spent ten years renting a six bedroom farmhouse. The rent didn't go up in the entire time we were there and the landlord (a large utility company) sorted out any maintenance problems in days.

The boiler broke down loads of times, there was a problem with the roof, and many other things. All were paid for by the landlord. We didn't need buildings insurance and were free to move out any time that we wanted.

Some consider buying to be renting from the bank - and some mortgages make huge restrictions on what you're allowed to do in your own house.

I think that you're definitely NBU.

Someone needs to explain to your dad the concept of salary multiples. For a £150k house with a £15k deposit you would need to be earning £34k a year between you and then there's all your outgoings to take into account.
Maybe tell him that you would need to skip approx 300 meals out at £50 average to save that deposit in the first place.

Your life, your choice. But by renting you are going to be incredibly dependent on an uncertain benefits system in old age.

Also, I'm curious how you can have a joint income of less than 20k per year if you both work 'incredibly hard'. Either you're not being nice paid national minimum wage or one of you is very part time. In which case up your hours and save for your future would be my advice

Because it's an appreciating asset.

if people all just 'had houses', wouldn't they be being passed on when people die?

They are sold to split between family members or because the inheritor doesn't want to keep hold of that house. They then have to money to invest elsewhere/ buy an even bigger house.

It's how wealthy people/families remain wealthy. Once you have assets you can leverage more money to invest in starting up a business or getting qualifications eg ways to further your wealth.

However you need some money to start off with. Which is the problem for a lot of people.

That said, money doesn't buy happiness and if you are happy that counts for a lot.

I suspect it depends on where you are renting. I've rented places where I've been forced to move out and find somewhere else; and also rented where the landlord has not been that good at staying on top of repairs. Neither is an issue if you own your own place (although you have to pay for your own repairs :) )

As others have said, we also have the benefit of knowing that we don't have to pay housing costs indefinitely - as you do when you rent.

Your dad can tell you to buy until he's blue in the face but on your current income it's not going to happen. I'm not sure what you mean by a "housing group", would that give you right to buy your current place at a discount?

Yes, rent is dead money because you have nothing to show for it in the end, unlike paying a mortgage but as a pp has pointed out, all that could vanish in old age if you need care. Swings and roundabouts.

I think he is right, I'd be encouraging mine to forgo the holidays and eating out for a few hours to get on the propert ladder. It's about stability, not having to keep moving around, security in old age etc.

I'd want mine to be homeowners pre children and would be encouraging that as much as possible.

Do you mean it's a Housing association house?

I just don't get all this you must buy malarkey, some people will never be able to and shouldn't feel pressured into believing they're failures if they rent social housing instead.

You do what's right for you and your family. I'm not a great believer in being utterly miserable in life for a mortgage that will almost definitely be sold to fund your care in old age.

It depends where you live; if rents are low then great (although they could rise). My family was pushed out of our home borough by rising rents 12 years ago; I now living on the very edge of London and my mortgage on a three bedroom house is the cost of renting a 1 bedroom flat (I moved to this area 10 years ago and the rental costs have doubled). The mortgage repayments will probably rise in future, but eventually it will be paid off & we won't have to pay out that money each month once we retire. We have insurance so if one of us died unexpectedly the remainder of the mortgage would be paid off, which would mean the other person could keep our home

Oops. Too soon!
We do have home repair costs but I like improving our home and having the freedom to do so. We can also have our pet cats here without worrying about finding an accepting landlord.

Awkward, you make a good point about pets. I've had very choosy landlords in the past about accommodating pets. Also what decorating, garden maintenance, etc I could do. In my own home I can make very simple decisions about it without seeking permission. Renting has suited us on occasions and I have lived in £900k houses I could not afford to buy but there is nothing like the security of having your own home that may well act as an insurance against old age.

What do you both do to earn only 20k between you? Are you saving into a pension at all?

At one time it might have been a no brainer to buy instead of rent, back when you could buy a house on a single, part time, unskilled wage and have the mortgage paid off in 12 years, but now with prices where they are, it's little difference between being a lifelong rent slave or a lifelong mortgage slave.

Renting long term really depends where you live.
If you live in an area that doesn't increase hugely then renting is ok as long as you put something away you never know what is around the corner

I would say the thing that would be a red flag is the low wages you and your dp earn and that you are clearly not managing.
A good credit report is needed if you want to privately rent.

Is there anyway you or your partner could take on extra work so you can at least break even

You sound like a friend who rented their 3 bedroom house at the same time as we bought our first place. A tiny studio.

She thought we were mad but over the years, apart from a short time in the early 90s, our mortgage has always been less than her rent.
ATM we are planning on selling up and moving
We will be able to buy a house a little further out of London and a holiday home abroad without any mortgage.
Friend is still in the same house. Now paying twice the amount out each month as our mortgage

You have to remember no matter how cheap the rent is you are paying someone's mortgage