To get annoyed at the pressure to buy a house?

[Bexicle22]

We rent. I’ve always rented. I haven’t had the opportunity to save the kind of money needed to buy a house. My parents are very old fashioned, especially my dad. He says we HAVE to buy a house.

I don’t mind renting. We recently moved into a new build and pay less than £500 for 2 bedrooms, nice little garden for my daughter etc. Any time anyone comes to the house, they say how jealous they are as it is such a lovely place. It’s owned by a large housing group so we are fortunate to not have to worry about it being sold from under us as the company only rents the houses out unlike private landlords who can sell at any time. We don’t have a lot of disposable income and so knowing we have the added security of having things paid for should they break is also good.

My dad is always nagging me. He said that renting is dead money. He’s right, I know. He said we should be saving for a deposit for a house instead of going on holiday, eating out and whatever. I personally would rather live my life, have a little break away in the sun with my family. We aren’t jetting off to Dubai, maybe a week in Spain as it’s all we can afford. I feel like I can never say anything about anything we have spent money on as we will get a lecture. My dad truly believes that because we both work, we simply need to go to the bank and we will be given a mortgage, like it’s just that easy. To buy a house similar or better than the one we rent now here, we would need a deposit of about £15,000. My credit is terrible and my partner’s isn’t much better. We work very hard but earn less than £20k before tax between us a year.

Is my dad right, is buying a house the be all and end all of life? Is it an absolute necessity? Should we be putting our lives on hold for the next few years in order to save every spare penny we have so we can buy, even though we are perfectly happy where we are?

But most people are not passive victims of circumstance

Agree, for many people there is an element of choice. From studying at school, to further education, to renting that tiny bedsit, to living with parents and saving, to not having kids or delaying when you have kids, to training for different work opportunities. No one said it was simple. But as Maisy said many people do not need to be a victim of circumstance. Some do, sure, but it's not the real world to suggest it is anything but the minority.

The op and her partner have made a series of lifestyle choices that has led them to this position. None of us could say if they could have made different choices. They are happy as they sit, right now buying isn't an option for them, but they may make different choices as life goes on which will make buying an option.

Right now though on 20k a year between them and a kid as well, and add in bad credit, they are not in a secure financial position and unless something changes they will be renting till the day they die and hoping that consequetive governments continue to financially support them.

Your dad isn't old fashioned, he's advising you to think of the future.
If we hadn't bought we wouldn't be able to retire early in four years.
Our mortgage is small now, a lot cheaper than equivalent rent would be and I could afford it and all the bills on my wage alone if for example DH lost his job.
We have lots of equity to pass on to DC when we downsize.

I'm curious how you can have a joint income of less than 20k per year if you both work 'incredibly hard'

This was the first thing I thought of too. That's nowhere near two full time incomes even at minimum wage.

All these comments about get a better job, save money etc; honestly it's really not that simple. Some people just don't live in the real world

Neither is thinking you can go on holiday and eat out whilst earning so little that your finances are in the toilet and expecting things will be ok.

At some point the rent will not get paid and then you are out looking for a private ll who won't consider you because of your poor credit file and lack of earnings.

All these comments about get a better job, save money etc; honestly it's really not that simple.

If I was in a couple where we weren't even earning 20k between us, I certainly wouldn't be spending any extras on holidays and days out, especially when I had a young child to think about.

Landlords can kick you out whenever they fancy - you can pay your rent and be the perfect tenant, they're still entitled to take their property back if they choose. 20k isn't even two minimum wage salaries!