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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not take dd to the doctors

63 replies

Drinaballerina · 28/03/2018 11:45

Dh has just called me demanding I take dd2 to the doctors as there's been an email from nursery about scarlet fever.

She has a small temperature, right off her food, quite grumpy and a small red patch that looks like eczema on her cheek. Looks like classic teething to me, but he insinuated I'm a terrible mother for not taking her.

If I was at all worried I'd take her but I'm just not. Would you with those symptoms?

OP posts:
SneakyGremlins · 28/03/2018 11:46

I would Confused

tvhearts · 28/03/2018 11:47

What would she be treated with for scarlet fever?

MessyHairDontCare88 · 28/03/2018 11:47

She would be red all over and her tongue would look like a strawberry if she had scarlet fever. I would trust your gut on this one.

Coconutcreampie · 28/03/2018 11:47

Teething doesn't cause a temperature. However scarlet fever has a very distinctive rash that normally starts on the torso, without a rash present they couldn't diagnose scarlet fever anyway so I would wait for the time being as the rash can show up to 48 hrs after initial symptoms

DeathStare · 28/03/2018 11:48

If he's concerned he can take her. You aren't the nanny there to await his every instruction on childcare. You're her mother. You decided it didn't warrant the doctors. If he doesn't like that, he should take responsibility himself rather than making you feel guilty.

Original poster
Drinaballerina · 28/03/2018 11:48

Meant to add red patch has been there for a couple of weeks and comes and goes. She's quite chirpy in herself, just a bit grumpier than usual.

OP posts:
Coconutcreampie · 28/03/2018 11:48

@tvhearts antibiotics for scarlet fever

PurpleDaisies · 28/03/2018 11:48

What would she be treated with for scarlet fever?

Antibiotics, a fairly long course.

Please take her, its important for her to be treated if she has it. There can be long term complications if it isn’t treated.

HollyBayTree · 28/03/2018 11:49

Its symptoms may include:
Thye are smilar to the symptoms of scarlet fever but equally they are the symptoms of a cold or virus.

Bright red or scarlet spotty rash, usually beginning on the neck or chest (often excludes face, palms and soles)
High temperature.
Chills.
Headache.
Sore throat (although half of patients will not have this symptom)
Painful swallowing.r
PurpleDaisies · 28/03/2018 11:50

www.nhs.uk/conditions/scarlet-fever/

This is worth a read.

QueenB14 · 28/03/2018 11:50

I would, even if it isn't scarlet fever it could need checking out, ear infection etc

Always worth being cautious with babies especially as they can't tell you what hurts.

tvhearts · 28/03/2018 11:54

I think I'd take her. Just say "she's been a bit off and there's been scarlet fever at nursery can you check her over?" My doctors are usually really good with little ones what's the harm in going just to be on the safe side? Xx

Sirzy · 28/03/2018 11:55

Can you call for a telephone appointment and ask their advice?

It isn’t symptoms that would concern me in general but as you know Scarlett fever is doing the rounds that would push me to be more cautious and get advice at least

orangesmartieseggs · 28/03/2018 11:59

I would take her - if she has it she needs antibiotics.

Tricksy12345 · 28/03/2018 12:34

Me and my children had it a few weeks ago. Apparently it's been going round a lot. I didn't have the rash, but had awful pain when I swallowed, and just generally felt rubbish. The children had teething like symptoms at first and then a rash. The doctor took a swab from the back of our throats and put us on antibiotics, 4 times a day for 10 days

Tricksy12345 · 28/03/2018 12:36

I'm not usually one to make a fuss about going to the doctors, but my mum had scarlet fever that was left untreated and developed a heart problem because of it.
We were put on antibiotics before we got the results back, as a precaution. Doctor said to stop them if it came back negative and carry on if it came beck positive

FinallyHere · 28/03/2018 12:39

Is it really only me wondering why DH isn't the one to drop everything and take DD to the doctors?

TheHungryDonkey · 28/03/2018 12:41

If she’s otherwise ok I wouldn’t with those symptoms and I’m a cautious person. If you feel she’s being managed ok at home he shouldn’t be saying you’re a terrible mother.

If you took a child to the drs every time they had a temperature and were grizzly you would be there all the time.

Original poster
Drinaballerina · 28/03/2018 12:50

Dh did threaten to leave his vv important job to come and take her, but he won't. He has a very annoying habit of being rather bossy.

She's managed an hour of toddler gym class plus half an hour puddle jumping. Will see how she is when she wakes up from her nap and decide after that I think!

OP posts:
Wellfuckmeinbothears · 28/03/2018 12:54

I would take her. I know it’s a pain but with those symptoms I think it’s worth having her checked over.

laurzj82 · 28/03/2018 13:04

I think you are right OP. I think you would KNOW if she was poorly enough for sf. My daughter was very ill with it.

Pleasedontdrawonyoursister · 28/03/2018 13:27

Omg all these people saying take a slightly grumpy child to the gp!! No wonder there are no appointments available.

Velvetbee · 28/03/2018 13:33

I wouldn’t. Watch and wait seems appropriate in this instance, you can’t take every grumpy baby to the doctor.

Merryoldgoat · 28/03/2018 13:34

Sorry, but you took a feverish toddler to gym class, presumably with other children there?

Rundemlegs · 28/03/2018 13:36

I wouldn't with those symptoms.

If he's that worried, he takes her. You are her mother, you are with her now and you make that call. He he makes a different call, he folows through with it!