Aibu to not take dd to the doctors

[Drinaballerina]

Dh has just called me demanding I take dd2 to the doctors as there's been an email from nursery about scarlet fever.

She has a small temperature, right off her food, quite grumpy and a small red patch that looks like eczema on her cheek. Looks like classic teething to me, but he insinuated I'm a terrible mother for not taking her.

If I was at all worried I'd take her but I'm just not. Would you with those symptoms?

It does not sound like scarlet fever OP from what you have described. A few children at my dd's school came donw with this and the symptoms were very clear and the children very poorly quite quickly. If she starts to get lethargic and her temp goes up, then yes its best to go but otherwise, absolutely no point. Kids get temperatures for all sorts of reasons at this age (and yes teething can cause a mild temp).

I must be a terrible mother too. No way would I take my DC to the doctors because she 'might' be ill (even though she has no symptoms) and is very well in herself.

Odd thread.

No not a disgusting comment - my newborn nearly died from people like the op - who are digusting - a child whose has a temp, isn’t eating, is clearly unwell and shouldn’t be going to toddler groups where there are pregnant women and young babies.

Tea - she is ill - the op starts with her saying she has a temp, a rash etc

You all won’t understand - until it is your child on life support- having been unlucky and developed rare complications from what might be a mild illness in an older child, until it is you pregnant (and you haven’t had it) and circulating with children with chicken pox, until your child contracts flu and has mild symptoms but passes it on to an older vulnerable relative who is going through chemotherapy....

When mine had scarlet fever it was really obvious - there was no puddle jumping etc they were on the floor! I think your plan to wait and assess later is good.

I actually do agree it doesn’t sound like scarlet fever, but another virus, ear infection, tonsillitis etc sounds probable.

Lots of kids get a bit of a temperature when teething. It doesn't mean the child is infectious. There is a difference between knowingly taking an unwell toddler to playgroup and taking a teething one to it. If OP sincerely believes her child is only teething, then it is awful to call her a bad mother. She probably said child is unwell at the start of the thread to mean her child is feeling unwell, not that she is actually sick!

Calling people a terrible mother is disgusting when they are clearly not. My toddler will go days without eating if she feels like it. A slight temp and Eczema is not ‘clearly unwell’. I’m sorry you’ve had a bad experience but no need to be so awful to other women

Ouch there are some tough people out there! apples sorry about your little one, dd2 was also very ill when tiny and I well remember how frightening it was.

She woke up from her nap, rash gone, ate a huge lunch. So I took her to pharmacy who said unlikely to be anything serious but keep an eye on her.

Dd1 never had temp with teething but poor dd2 really suffers badly. Temp, streaming nose.

The op asked if she was a ‘terrible mother’ herself hence why that phrased was used. Apologies if it came across strongly-I was cross by the fact she’d taken her to gym despite a temperature.

Thank you op - yes if you’ve had a seriously ill child then you will understand the frustration of people’s attitude nowadays which seems to be socialise and carry on mixing when ill. Just because it’s a simple/mild illness in your child doesn’t mean it will be for others.

I dunno if some people are able to get GP appointments easily or have less dismissive GPs than me or something but if I took my kids to the doctors every time they had a slight temp and a teething rash they'd fall over backwards from rolling their eyes. And I'd probably get an 'NHS resources' lecture as well.

I see she's fine now, but just in case it comes up again, DD2 had scarlet fever and there was no mistaking she was ill. Plus the doctor told me afterwards that I should have called in first as it's so infectious. So if you're worried you should definitely call first.

And calling somebody a 'terrible mother' should be reserved for child abusers or the daily mail only.