Instamums 3, 2.0

[blackmirror1]

Seeing as the original 3 got zapped.

Read the first para - business first. So they didn't just happen upon advertising opportunities.

www.mastersofmany.com/the-masters/2016/4/26/meet-this-weeks-master-of-many-clemmie-hooper-midwife-instamum-of-4-kids-and-author

@Goingovertosusanshouse Same. I had no idea about the extent of freebies / gifts - an #ad in kind. I guess we just expect honesty and not to be labelled a troll/hater if we question that.

One of these reasons I'm so interested in these threads is I feel the same @goingovertosusanshouse I don't consider myself gullible, and I'm old enough to know better. But due to some life shit, I have been quite vulnerable. I found lots of these 'normal' people inspirational. I could have and achieve these 'better' lives. They seemed reachable and affordable. The bitter truth is, they aren't. It's business and money. Neither of which I have. I haven't made rash purchases or similar but I have felt utterly shit and just wished I'd known all along that things were 'freebies' or 'collaborations' and these people were not like me. MP works hard, thinks hard, is careful and respectful. Others are not. On top of that you have the basic truth that most success is dependant on some cute kids and complete loss of privacy.
There are those who come across as nice people and those who are nice when they feel they should be.
Moaning about no night off together since August and then a freebie dirty weekend with a snog in Wagamama. Oh please.

Hi Danielle. I've followed you for a good while now

I used to find Courtney Adamo’s (real name Adams - very symptomatic of her fantasy image in my opinion that she changed her name to something more exotic!) feed quite envy-inducing. In some ways this wasn’t all bad - I designed my kitchen to be a cheaper, smaller version of hers and I love it! I’m less bothered now she has moved to Australia and I just don’t find the boho surfer vibe as interesting, personally. The thing that is important is to separate the issues - jealousy which can be felt and is generally a good idea to deal with my changing your behaviour (such as: stepping away from Instagram for a while, changing the accounts you follow to ones more in your social bracket or to other interests) and the completely separate issue which is advertising transparency. It really annoys me when the instamums or fans try to claim that any criticism is to do with jealousy. I’m capable of having several reactions and deciding which are reasonable!

@Fruitbowl2 You have to spend a lot of time seeking attention from advertisers, so it was most definitely a concerted effort. They’re their own sales force. Shame they don’t have a free seminar on, ‘how to engage positively with your followers’ ;)

Hi @danielleparry (just realised I called you Daniel originally, sorry about that ) Repeating myself, but I love your decor especially the dining room.

Interesting how many instamums are lurking. Anymore out there?

@fruitbowl gosh she goes on and on about sisterhood doesn’t she? Haha

I know how easy it is to be taken in by the polished lives you see. I am a close relative of an instamum- I can assure you her persona is nothing like reality. Her glossy image is not reflective of her life. What you see and the reality are not the same. And it looks exhausting having to be on point and write these bloody vacuous posts she does. Don't envy her at all.

As someone upthread mentioned they were tempted to become an instamum I thought I would pull together a list of the pros and cons I could think of.

Pros

1. The money, freebies and opportunities. You could get a good work/life balance and potentially earn a lot of money which would help make your family more financially secure.
2. You become instafamous. Some people crave fame and public recognition.
3. You have some influence and a platform to change things. See MP and her Flex campaign.

Cons:

1. You become instafamous. Being publicly recognised isn't what everyone would want.
2. You risk your family's safety and security There are all sorts of weirdos out there and you can't filter them out of your audience. If random people on a forum can find out your address or where your kids go to school/nursery imagine what someone with an unhealthy interest in your family could uncover.
3. You will be subject to gossip and scrutiny. There are far worse forums than this one where social influencers (and their kids) are picked apart. You might choose to just ignore it but what about when your kids (or worse their friends) find these sites?
4. It's an unsustainable career. WIll the audience that love your baby and toddler love a middle aged woman with teenagers that don't want to be featured in their promotional posts anymore? Are you sure that audience won't just find another young family where they can get their regular dose of cuteness?
5. You are exploiting your kids to make money. Ultimately this content will be available forever on the internet and documents precious moments of someone's childhood that they may not wish to share. I don't think a child is in a position to consent to having all of this content put out there as they can't possibly comprehend the potential risks, both long and short term, from all of this. I don't know where am influencer would stand if their adult children sue them in the future for a cut of the earnings. Afterall are the way these kids are used to make money any different from the way that child stars have traditionally been used and exploited?

The whole situation is bullshit. There’s no sisterhood unless you are a certain type. If you don’t fit in with this then there is no chance. You won’t get invited to the boden events, you won’t be gifted with a sleepyhead and you won’t be asked to talk at a women’s event even though you have no professional knowledge. It’s just another way of excluding women and being told the only women we should blindly follow and support.

I like Danielle, I think compared to other IM she seems happy and content with her lot. I was a youngish Mum with not a lot of cash and even though I live in a nice part of SE London and sometimes buy tat from Oliver Bonas I find her a lot more relatable than MOD etc.. It’s nice to see someone going out, getting a bit pissed and having fun! Not just sat in some swanky hotel bar pretending to have fun.

Good summary Bumpity

I have been musing on the why not (from my zero family posting online) and wondering what I would do if IG was around more instead of here when I started chatting to others

Especially as so may started for the same reasons - company - but morphed as they grew. Will more people avoid it now or actively go for the £ via the dc

@ElizabethLemon couldn't agree more! As I sit here in my half wallpapered living room, oven pizza cooking and browsing eBay for wardrobe top ups for the little one, I can safely say I relate so much more to @danielleparry and her content / general attitude than to any of the other insta mums. Especially the ones that are gifted insane £15k holidays. Don't try to tell me I'm still part of the sisterhood in my george at Asda pyjamas 😂 we can all see through it!

I also feel like Danielle has something so many of them don't (MP excluded), and that's the ability to LAUGH AT HERSELF!

Also, bloody love the screen name, please tell me it's a 30 rock reference and I've not just insulted your actual surname? 🙊

Where do I find Danielle parry on IG?

Fair dos Danielle, fair dos! Good of you to come and say all that.

Can I just clarify though, I don't think you overshare your son, at all, but there has been lots of criticism about other mums doing so and my point was that if it's fine to comment on one doing it then it should follow for everyone else! I like fairness and it hasn't been very fair on here in relation to that!

Like I said, the middle class bashing was out of order, it made my teeth itch, however that's not to say I think the same about the rest of your insta because I don't and I honestly believe that as a young, single Mum, training for a profession, that you have an amazing platform and brilliant content.

Some seem to let their follower count act like some kinda hierarchy and only talk to others with the same amount of followers, and expect us peasants below just to adore their every move.

I thought I was the tits when I had 26k followers. When really I was a nob who needed to put my phone down.

Instagram. Influencers. Insta mums.

Honestly the whole thing just seems so "last year"

🤷🏼‍♀️

@pjandme @Goingovertosusanshouse yes the “sisterhood” isn’t open to all. I find this so shocking regarding the brands though, are they really so clueless. Considering the recent backlash against the lack of diversity in the media and advertising. I suppose they genuinely don’t care because the demographic they’re flogging their overpriced items to aren’t that diverse?

@pjandme yes a reference to awesome Liz, although I wouldn’t mind the surname Lemon!

@ElizabethLemon ha brilliant! What a fantastic show!

Jeez what a week...
...Lemon. It's Wednesday.

@loolalion

My Instagram won't be active for much longer! X

There's loads of Danielle party's on insta.... which one are you @danielleparry ?

@PrivatePike if you feel you're life isn't as good as what someone's online is. It's deffo time to hit the unfollow button.

"Don't compare your backstage to everyone else's front stage"

Xox

@Danielleparry you need to keep it going I need to see all those amazing hairstyles and clothes.