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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to hide away certain toys next time these kids visit...?

92 replies

Scaramoose · 27/03/2018 10:49

This is semi lighthearted but, tbh, I am also a bit irritated. DH thinks it's funny though as he says that Playmobil appears to have unleashed my inner control freak (as I'm not generally anything of the sort!)

We got DS the Playmobil Ghostbusters fire station for Christmas and other members of our family got him the accompanying playsets. We had visitors over Christmas, and the it was played with loads. However, when a certain two kids were here it was just dismantled, the stickers peeled off, tiny parts spread all over the house etc. DH said that this is what happens, kids play with stuff and it get trashed. The kids parents said the same. I'm not so sure, it didn't need to be dismantled and spread all over the place, or stickers peeled off, or chewed! It just seems destructive rather than playful whereas with other kids this hasn't been the case at all.

They came again this weekend and, to try and be reasonable (and not hide it!) I asked them not to spread it round the house or to take any remaining stickers off. They didn't, but it was pretty much dismantled (anything that could be taken apart was, and now some of the tiny bits are lost.)

I think I'm being particular as I think the thing that is so great about Playmobil is the little parts and the detail, so if most of those are lost or spoiled it ruins it. Also, it's not bloody cheap!

So, AIBU by putting it, and anything similar, in a cupboard the next time they come or is this just what kids do and I need to loosen up...?!

OP posts:
rothbury · 27/03/2018 15:42

YANBU but tbh I would be tempted to just not have those children round any more.

Original poster
Scaramoose · 27/03/2018 16:00

Thank you for all your replies! I did worry that I was going to get a lot of responses along the lines of “you sound like hard work” “you’re very precious” but it’s true, I do find it destructive and not respectful.

Also, I can understand Lego being dismantled a little bit more but not I did worry that I was going to get a lot of responses along the lines of “you sound like hard work“ “you’re very precious“ but it’s true, I do find it destructive and not respectful.

Also, I can understand Lego being dismantled a little bit more but not Playmobil! I have managed to find quite a bit of it, but as an example, they took the stairs off the fire station, and also prized off a little red bit at the top which attaches it to the building. Thankfully I managed to find it, but I really resented having to look for it! It doesn’t seem like playing to me it just seems like breaking things or pulling them apart.

DS doesn’t play like this either, just these two kids.

OP posts:
Greenhouseonthehill · 27/03/2018 16:06

How old are the children? I wouldn’t expect this past toddler age.

Original poster
Scaramoose · 27/03/2018 16:07

5 and a half and seven

OP posts:
bonnyshide · 27/03/2018 16:08

YANBU some kids just can't play constructively. Maybe it's lack of attention (parents don't get down with them and really play with and guide them) or maybe it's just the way their minds work....hide it!

MiaowTheCat · 27/03/2018 16:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

missmorleyme · 27/03/2018 16:34

No your not being unreasonable, if i was fisiting a house and there was toys i would ask for the favourite toys to be put away or tell my dc before hand not to ruin or dismantle the other child's toys as i know my own dc can be destructfull sometimes.

KERALA1 · 27/03/2018 16:51

OMG triggering memory for me when I was a kid and my mother invited a family of 3 rampagers for a play date. They comprehensively trashed our bedroom, every book of book shelf, dressing up box out everything. On purpose. My sister and I were Shock but unable to stop them. My lovely mum wasn't cross as she knew it wasnt us (they weren't even our friends) but took us all ages to clear up.

My sister went on to marry into their family and they are all in their 40s and professional people but still think of them as room trashers.

ruleshelpcontrolthefun · 27/03/2018 17:06

I hide loads of things away! I've got a trasher coming on Thursday. DD is meticulous about her playmobil and would be really upset. I'll leave out the wooden dolls house, the Happyland stuff, Peppa pig stuff, some of the dolls, all the babyish plastic toys etc etc but the playmobil, the fairy wings, some of her more delicate dolls etc will be packed away.

blackteasplease · 27/03/2018 17:13

I would put anything I didn't want ruined away too!

DD was quite a careful player even when she was small. She had mates who just weren't like that and played in a way that was like a tornado. Dd found it upsetting and I respected that!

blackteasplease · 27/03/2018 17:15

I've just read the ages though and a bit shocked they would do this . I was imagining pre schoolers - I was talking about dds friends when they were 3 or 4. 7 is way too old to have no respect for the belongings of others.

DonaldWeasley · 27/03/2018 17:17

Definitely ok to hide it. My ds is the “pull stuff apart type” - he’s not being destructive, it’s how he works out how things work. I tell myself he will be an engineer when he grows up.

BUT I still have my playmobil hidden from him in the attic!

Leeds2 · 27/03/2018 17:25

I would definitely hide the toys!

BUT make sure you have an answer prepared for when the children ask where the playset is. And they will ask in front of your DS, and their parents.

Jonsey79 · 27/03/2018 21:39

I actually flinched and recoiled in horror at the sticker peeling alone.

Hell no yanbu.

LittleOwl153 · 27/03/2018 23:12

Hide it. I have this every christmas/birthday with my niece, she trashes my dc's presents before they even get to play them, bits missing from games, stickers ripened eta. She is 7 but it won't change her parents just think I'm miserable as I won't let my kids open their toys until they've gone now.

Weezol · 27/03/2018 23:36

Kerala Me too! One set of cousins were incredibly destructive, not just with toys but with books. I have a clear memory of them ruining my beloved Ladybird books when I was three and they were six, seven and nine!
I learned very quickly to hide stuff and I never took anything I valued to theirs. Even in their teens Christmas presents were usually trashed in a few days.

toomuchtooold · 28/03/2018 05:42

We have three regular playdate visitors and two of them are quite calm but the third one, she's a sweet kid but takes no care about other people's things, and before she comes I go and put away all the fragile toys. I have to say I judge her family on this. Her dad is really overindulgent and can't seem to get her to do anything (when she comes for birthday parties he comes to pick her up and will call her name in this sort of begging voice while smiling apologetically at us, you almost want to give him a cuddle) but most of the week it's her granny who looks after her, and I'm about 99 percent sure the woman hits her, I've witnessed it once but was looking away when she actually hit her (kid spills ice cream, granny says something in Russian, kid starts crying, one of mine says something and I look away, kid starts wailing in the manner of someone who has just been hurt) - this was after we'd run into them in town and the granny had insisted on treating them all (her and my two) to an ice cream. I think that's the kid's life. Slaps and ice cream. I should probably do my own AIBU about this shouldn't I? Hitting children is against the law here in Germany, I didn't see it so I can't report it anyway, but I don't know if it would even do any good if I did.

1099 · 28/03/2018 06:17

I wasn't using Lego as a comparison, I was suggesting that the OP is over invested in a childs toy, even in the update she doesn't say how her son feels about the situation, it is all about how she feels. I don't think you should buy a toy for a child if you can't write it off instantly, some get destroyed and some last for a lifetime. If her son is upset by the other kids actions then fair enough come to an agreement about what to do with toys he wants to preserve, but if he's not really bothered then why worry.

CuppaSarah · 28/03/2018 06:56

Yadnbu. My dd is on who likes to pull her Lego and Playmobil sets apart. It drives me mad, but it's just how to enjoys them. She knows not to do this to anyone else's sets though! I would be horrified if she did this to a friend's set and if she did it again she would be in big trouble!

LittleLionMansMummy · 28/03/2018 08:51

We do this when my nephews visit as ds takes care of his toys and it upsets him. Anything new or particularly precious to him goes in the spare room and my nephews are none the wiser. They're lovely boys on the whole but have some developmental problems following a neglectful childhood (they're adopted) and they're still learning 'how' to play with things because they never got the early interaction. Ds has a room full of toys, so the more 'special' ones aren't missed and we can relax more.

MumW · 28/03/2018 08:53

Hide away, no question.

I'm thinking of it this way, if these DC came around and ripped pages out of books, you wouldn't think twice about putting books out of reach next time. The peeling off stickers and losing bits is no different.

Original poster
Scaramoose · 28/03/2018 09:18

1099 I didn’t answer your question about how my DS reacts as there were lots of replies to read through. So, answering now, no he doesn’t like it. It bothers him particularly when they have gone as he can’t play with it as there are parts all over the place

OP posts:
Idontdowindows · 28/03/2018 09:19

I don't think you should buy a toy for a child if you can't write it off instantly

Wait what?

Mammyofasuperbaby · 28/03/2018 09:29

My DS is a destroyer unfortunately. It's mainly books that hechews and rips but I can't get him to stop. He does however take very good care of his toy animals so there's that. But when we go over his friends I tell her mam to remove anything like books as he will destroy and I can't afford to replace them all the time. The friend loves her books and I don't want her to be upset when my son damages them so it's better for all.

Pigeonpost · 28/03/2018 09:32

No, not unreasonable. My kids are the sort who love rebuilding Lego models and making all sorts of weird and wonderful things. We have friends whose kids like to make the models as per the kit and then leave them on a shelf to admire from afar. In the end they used to put these Lego models away in a cupboard to make sure no-one took them apart. Kids are all older now so it's less of an issue but it made life easier. Taking stickers off Playmobil is a WHOLE different ballgame though, that's just destructive and mean!