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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to hide away certain toys next time these kids visit...?

92 replies

Scaramoose · 27/03/2018 10:49

This is semi lighthearted but, tbh, I am also a bit irritated. DH thinks it's funny though as he says that Playmobil appears to have unleashed my inner control freak (as I'm not generally anything of the sort!)

We got DS the Playmobil Ghostbusters fire station for Christmas and other members of our family got him the accompanying playsets. We had visitors over Christmas, and the it was played with loads. However, when a certain two kids were here it was just dismantled, the stickers peeled off, tiny parts spread all over the house etc. DH said that this is what happens, kids play with stuff and it get trashed. The kids parents said the same. I'm not so sure, it didn't need to be dismantled and spread all over the place, or stickers peeled off, or chewed! It just seems destructive rather than playful whereas with other kids this hasn't been the case at all.

They came again this weekend and, to try and be reasonable (and not hide it!) I asked them not to spread it round the house or to take any remaining stickers off. They didn't, but it was pretty much dismantled (anything that could be taken apart was, and now some of the tiny bits are lost.)

I think I'm being particular as I think the thing that is so great about Playmobil is the little parts and the detail, so if most of those are lost or spoiled it ruins it. Also, it's not bloody cheap!

So, AIBU by putting it, and anything similar, in a cupboard the next time they come or is this just what kids do and I need to loosen up...?!

OP posts:

NWQM · 27/03/2018 11:33

Peeling off stickers is just wrong & the children really should know that. And the children know that. Taking the sets apart is a bit different but things like chewing unless they are very young they surely know is wrong. One of my mantra's is - would they do it at school. Bet they respect things more there and this is what this is about. You asked them not to do it. They ignored you in your own house. There are loads of threads of here that would say 'your house your rules'. I'd be moving the stuff next time. Otherwise you'll not have much left by the sounds of it.

TabbyTigger · 27/03/2018 11:43

It depends if your DS is bothered i’d say. My DDs love playmobil and all their sets/people are in pristine condition but the kids across the road rip the hair off theirs and have lots of broken hands on their people. Consequently the playmobil people don’t mix with one another, as the kids play with them differently...

JacquesHammer · 27/03/2018 11:43

YANBU

I've always had the rule that anything DD didn't want others to play with could be put away.

She wasn't allowed to get it out and play with it in front of them, but I think its important that children learn that they can have precious things that don't need to be shared if that is handled sensitively.

MrsPreston11 · 27/03/2018 11:44

YANBU - playmobil isn't lego. it stays together. And stickers don't come off it it through normal play.

My nephews are the same, all the toys at the house are dirty and disgusting and ruined.

My kids toys can be passed on looking fine, yes ok stuff does show signs of wet and tear, and there are certain things that break, but most toys don't break unless undue force is applied and my kids know to respect their stuff (most of the time)

When I was little my cousin stuck stickers over everything, her bedroom, her dolls house, her dolls etc etc and even has a 7/8 year old I can remember really disliking it and thinking it was ruining her toys, so maybe I'm just precious though. My oldest stuck stickers on her keyboard. I was not pleased.

AgnesBrownsCat · 27/03/2018 11:48

You are not being unreasonable . The other kids sound like brats .

FairyPenguin · 27/03/2018 11:53

YADNU. When my DC were younger I would put things away, but as they got older it was up to them to put anything they didn’t want to share/get broken into the spare room. Then I would lock that room while visitors were here.

Idontdowindows · 27/03/2018 12:02

1099, it's not about building and rebuilding sets, it's about destroying individual components.

The comparison would be if someone were cutting the lego bricks in half or chewing them up.

Herbalteahippie · 27/03/2018 12:10

Wow- if that had happened to my playmobil I would have totally had a meltdown!

YANBU- hide the playmobil from these ungrateful and rude children.

swivelchair · 27/03/2018 12:19

My son's easy going, the taking apart would be fine, the losing bits, well, that happens, but peeling the stickers off is just vandalism, and he'd be upset..

Yes, hide the playmobil. If they can't play nicely with it, then they can't play with it. Losing, breaking and damaging other kids toys on purpose isn't on.

wonkylegs · 27/03/2018 12:25

YANBU to hide them.

My sons can play nicely & enjoy their toys without trashing things, in fact the vast majority of DS1s toys were in fab condition when they got handed down to DS2. If they broke or damaged their toys or someone else's they know they would be in trouble, even the toddler seems to have grasped this concept.

My nieces & nephews however usually trash toys within hours. They had broken a good proportion of their Christmas presents before they left our house at Christmas. Their parents think it's normal and live in a sea of broken plastic, are continually buying new toys and never tell the kids off even if they break other peoples stuff.

I don't blame the kids, their parents however are teaching their kids this is ok.... well it's not when they come to my house!

MorningsEleven · 27/03/2018 12:30

DS's special lego creations go on a high shelf so no one can kill them.

I don't buy Playmobil because it scares me a bit. I appreciate it's not a normal reaction.

TheHungryDonkey · 27/03/2018 12:32

You are not being precious. My son’s Lego Star Wars models are out of bounds when people come around. They are ridiculously expensive and involved. There’s a big enough tub of loose Lego. People are allowed to have some things that are Important and they don’t want to share.

MiaowTheCat · 27/03/2018 12:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EvansOvalPies · 27/03/2018 13:40

No, YANBU, Scaramoose. My children loved Playmobil. So much so, that their playroom was actually called the Playmobil Room. It was absolutely filled, and they knew (DS in particular) which hat belonged on which person, which sword belonged to a certain knight, and so on. I was always being told off for attributing the wrong accessory to a figure or playset. One friend's daughter came in one day, and just proceeded to walk across all of the Playmobil, with her shoes on (Waaaahhh)!. You could literally hear the plastic crunching under her feet, and I thought DS was going to faint!

To have another child come in and wreck or break toys randomly is not fair on your children, most especially if your own children are taught to respect other children's toys. Thankfully, my children are now grown up, but I now find I'm facing the same dilemma with their friends' children (who also seem bent on total destruction). Even something as simple as snapping crayons in half is annoying, if that's something your own children don't do. And don't get me wrong - they always enjoyed messy play: mud, glue and glitter, playdough, cakes with sprinkles ALL over the floor. But the ability to respect and play nicely with a special toy should not be dismissed!

Mamadothehump · 27/03/2018 13:40

100% hide it. I do it all the time!!! Why should my kids miss out because other little shits don't give a toss???

CombineBananaFister · 27/03/2018 14:02

Yanbu - it's OK to not want things broken and destroyed, there's a difference between playing enthusiastically/roughly with stuff and breaking it apart and peeling stickers off. That's disrespectful.
DS learnt from a young age that he should treat his belongings with respect as we do not have the money to replace them. That doesn't mean he has to treat them delicately or not have fun with them as most kids toys are fairly robust but he needs to appreciate that they cost money.
Everything is just seen as so replaceable/throwaway these days which is why we have mountains of plastic

UnicornRainbowColours · 27/03/2018 14:04

I used to tell my last charge before had play dates that he was to put away anything special he don’t want breaking. It’s teaching from a young age respecting other people’s things.

Parrothead · 27/03/2018 14:32

YANBU to put away special/delicate toys when certain kids come over. Doesn’t everyone do that?

But I do think Playmobil is ridiculous. My kids have lots of it and it all falls apart with just normal play. The tiny parts are absurd and there’s no way the average 5-10 year old child could begin to keep track of them. My kids are not overly destructive with their toys at all, but they’re not super super careful either. We have the big plane and it literally sheds parts as they are playing. I’ve tried super glue but it didn’t really work. I ordered replacements for the big things like wheels and wings, but they haven’t stayed on. Not to mention the people are constantly losing their hair so most of them just have open heads. I am very meticulous with my things so it kills me to see these expensive toys missing parts, but the kids don’t seem to mind. But it’s absurd that a toy aimed at ages 4+ isn’t more durable. I won’t be spending money on Playmobil again.

whichwayisitnow · 27/03/2018 14:32

YANBU it always gave me the rage when dd was so careful and played nicely with toys, that other kids would come round and they'd get trashed. Sylvanian Families was the worst. Some kids are a bit light-fingered as well, and I'm sure little bits and pieces would find their way into their pockets, never to be seen again. We always put precious stuff away and got out the junk when dd's friends were around.

ChiefSpoon · 27/03/2018 14:34

I have a box of charity shop toys for when other kids visit lol. £1 or less usually. I don't mind if they get broken or dirty etc.

EvansOvalPies · 27/03/2018 14:44

Hmm, Parrothead - I don't agree with all the flimsiness. We had Edwardian doll's house, castle, Western fort, train set, pirate ships, etc. Although a couple of the very small bits would occasionally end up in the vacuum cleaner, like a tiny piece of cutlery, or a teeny spanner, not one single one of the figures ever permanently lost their hair. You really have to tug to get them off. Friends had hairless figures, because their children physically prised off the hair. It doesn't happen with normal play (unless you want to change a hairstyle).

I sold a lot of our DC's Playmobil on ebay, and it was all pretty much intact. DS complained bitterly, however, so I did have to keep back a couple of items for his childhood memory box (he's 22 now)

PotteringAlong · 27/03/2018 14:52

I do agree with parrothead - we’ve got the fire station and fire engine and it’s constantly falling apart! And the dragons from how to train your dragon whose wings keep falling off. I thought it wasn’t robust enough too so no more playmobil here either.

MiaowTheCat · 27/03/2018 14:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greenhouseonthehill · 27/03/2018 14:59

YANBU.

I don’t let visiting kids go in my children’s bedroom, no way are they destroying the Sylvanian Family stuff I’ve spent ages setting up for them.

QuizzlyBear · 27/03/2018 15:39

Two of my nephews are like this - I love them to bits but I prefer seeing them at someone else's house! Last time they played at mine they burst a water balloon on the lounge wall, soaking some pictures - which I put on the side in the kitchen to dry. 'Somehow' they ended up on the hob and my nephews accidentally switched on the gas, setting them alight 😤 - when they left I found chocolate birthday cake smeared over the walls where they'd wiped their hands... 🤯

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