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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being petty or is this a bit cheeky?

72 replies

Starlighter · 27/03/2018 10:38

Ok, I’m totally prepared to be told AIBU but this has bugged me!

I’ve never made much of an effort with the Easter bonnet thing, but my dd (who is 5) is really excited about it this year. So we spent Sunday afternoon creating a masterpiece! She was over the moon and excited about possibly winning a prize for it this year.

I was talking about Easter bonnets with one of the school mums yesterday and showed her a photo of my dd’s hat.

She’s just messaged me saying could I send her the picture as she wants to copy it for her DD’s bonnet as she wants exactly the same one...

Am I being really wanky by being a bit annoyed about this?! Part of me is just thinking, just send her the picture and stop being so petty. The other part of me thinks this is a bit unfair. DD will probably be a bit upset if someone copies it (it’s pretty unique) and what if the other girl wins?! Just seems a bit unfair on my DD.

OP posts:
Bluelady · 27/03/2018 11:16

Ignore the text and deny receiving it. Bloody cheek.

KendalMintCakey · 27/03/2018 11:16

more front than Brighton some folk!

EasterRobin · 27/03/2018 11:19

You need to tell her that your daughter wants to have a unique hat. This is perfectly reasonable. But to be friendly I would send a few links or photos of nice easy-crafting bonnets she could do instead.

QueenArseClangers · 27/03/2018 11:20

Or send her a pic of the scary fox Easter bonnet that was on MN one year.

QueenArseClangers · 27/03/2018 11:21

This.

Am I being petty or is this a bit cheeky?
SillyLittleBiscuit · 27/03/2018 11:24

I'd say something like "Ha! It's a competition! Design your own hat Grin "

bastardkitty · 27/03/2018 11:25

^ this is perfect!

bonnyshide · 27/03/2018 11:27

'DD would be really upset if you copied her hat, she's so exited bless her.'

lottiegarbanzo · 27/03/2018 11:29

This is a case where sticking up for your dd is more important than any social discomfort you may experience.

If it's your dd's own design, surely just say that. If it's copied from somewhere, go with dd having taken care to choose and make a design she hoped would be unique.

The passive aggressive avoidant shit suggested - pretending things - strikes me as transparently obvious and guaranteed to make you look ridiculous.

MrsHathaway · 27/03/2018 11:34

That's a clearly ludicrous ask. I'd reply with a "ha ha no chance - but I got all the materials from and just let DD loose on Pinterest so that's probably your best option".

NWQM · 27/03/2018 11:41

Does make me smile how ruthless it all gets....just be upfront & say you think it'll be odd if they have the same hat. Our church stopped their Easter Bonnet parade after parents were buying them on eBay!

MirriVan · 27/03/2018 11:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kateandme · 27/03/2018 11:46

mirrivan perfect response.dont say more.if she takes offense bollocks to it.
the easter bonnet competition though has gone to the mammoth parenting competition madness stakes though!cant believe some of the stuff ive seen and heard bout it.

Jux · 27/03/2018 11:48

Just forget to do it, super busy, will do it in a mo, oh gosh dd/dh needed something, sorry will do it soon busy now.......

Or direct her to pinterest.

Jux · 27/03/2018 11:49

Or send a bad/blurred pic. If challeneged, so sorry must have sent wrong one don't know how that happened.

Jux · 27/03/2018 11:50

Or send a photot of a sheep

swingofthings · 27/03/2018 11:51

Oh the competiveness of mothers! Who cares about what the kids want what matters is to get praises due. Personally I would felt honoured that another mum would want to copy my artistic attempts :)

SheSellSeaShells · 27/03/2018 11:51

wow cf alert! I'd just reply "sorry but my dc would be very upset if her design was copied"

BrazzleDazzleDay · 27/03/2018 11:51

We had a similar issue. Dd had to go into hospital for the plastics team to fix a head wound and they had stuff to make bonnets. Kids hospital so they had some pretty awesome stuff to put on them.

Dds friends dm knowing find well where she made it pestered me for ages after about where to get all the bits and bobs as litte sadface betty wanted one too.

MrsPreston11 · 27/03/2018 11:53

YANBU, I wouldn't show it.

Twice we've made the mistake of taking stuff like this into school before the day it's due, both times been copied. Won't make that mistake again.

(I'm probably being petty too)

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 27/03/2018 11:53

I’m afraid I’d just reply with the 😂 emoji. What goes on in peoples’ heads?

bastardkitty · 27/03/2018 11:54

^ another great option

Jimmychunga · 27/03/2018 12:06

I would text back ... it's a competition entry, no copying allowed ... sorry.
I would drive me nuts to be put in that position.

LagunaBubbles · 27/03/2018 12:06

You do need to say your DD would be upset if anyone copied her design, I get a feeling she might try and copy it anyway!

chunn65 · 27/03/2018 12:09

So reminds me of our school years, "the over the top" mum or dad clearly made easter bonnet competition, but the winner was always the one made by the child, stuck on chicks hap hazard style , too many eggs and random daisies and daffodils, not the Top Hat with a bunny coming out of the top or such like, i left my son (aged 7) with the supplies and let him get on with it and he won an easter egg that year much to the horror of a " friend" who was horrified and had spent 3 hours on her creation.