To think my parents are making a mistake?

[FizzyCherry]

My parents are both of retirement age, Mum is 69, Dad is 72.
Due to various reasons they didn’t get a mortgage until 20 years ago and both still work to pay it off, but they have at least 7 years left on it.

They have decided they want to retire, sell the house and buy a static home at a holiday park. They’re convinced it’s their ideal solution.

I totally understand their logic but I can’t help feeling they are being lured into a situation they will end up regretting.

If they sell the house, they can clear the mortgage and buy a static home outright with money left over.

However, they still have to pay the equivalent of 2/3 of their mortgage in ground rent and various other fees.
The park has swimming pool, gym etc, they are “free to use” - but that’s another £120 a month membership (!)
They must vacate their home for the whole of February every year so the site residents can avoid council tax.
Plus a friend of theirs lived somewhere similar that the owner decided to sell to developers. They were given £45,000 to “buy somewhere new”, after having lived there 10 years. They only owned the home, not the land, so that actually wasn’t a bad offer, but obviously nowhere near enough to start again.
So although they won’t have a mortgage, their outgoings will still be quite high, and they won’t have the same income, and they will need at least one car because this place is in the middle of nowhere. Plus at the end of the day, they will have nothing to show for it.

I have visited and it’s nice, but I think they are so attracted to the idea of living on a holiday park they are not seeing the full picture.

In addition, it’s in the countryside, where my mum has always insisted she could never live.

I asked if they would even consider this village if they were looking at houses, they said not for a second.

I fully support them in needing to make a move (and the house they’re in they only bought when I was 20, I only lived there 2 years so there’s no childhood sentiments involved).
Nor is this about inheritance before anyone says anything.
Although we’re not well off now, my husband stands to inherit quite well and my parents have never had much, plus have several kids, so it’s never been something we really think about,

But AIBU to be wary of this solution? Their current house is five minutes from mine and they are convinced that I’m trying to put them off because it’s convenient for babysitting etc but I genuinely am not remotely thinking about me or my needs, I’m an adult who can sort my own life.

I haven’t told them this but my husband and I have been trying to work out a way to help my parents pay the mortgage off but we’re just not in that position right now.
Nor can we offer them a spare room for February every year, we don’t have one. Nor do my siblings (one does but he lives abroad and my parents don’t like flying so he comes here for visits).

I suppose what I’m looking for is reassurance that I am BU, or at least more experiences of why I’m not.

I have suggested they look at retirement flats etc, my mum thinks they are for “old people”.

They like their house and would stay if they could afford it.

WWYD?

It’s up to them

Of course it is. But am I not right to be concerned?

They are very trusting and to me it sounds like a money pit. But as I say, interested to hear opinions.

I think you should lay alll the pros and cons out to them in a factual way and tell them you’ll support them no matter what, but you’d be complicit if you didn’t give them this information.

Would they be able to downsized to a smaller house or flat? Can you print off some options on right move?

Good luck, sounds really tough.

You need to let this go and back off. This is their decision, even if it is a mistake.

I understand it's worrying and uncertain but I think all you can do is gently point out the things you're concerned about so they can ponder them too and then in reality you have to sit back and let them decide.

It goes without saying that have you spoken to them about your reservations to their plans?
It sounds a daft plan to me and if it all goes wrong you will be the contingency plan ...

Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen and of course I would also be very concerned if my parents did this. They stand to lose their freedom of a secured home. I will tell them all your concerns and ask them to speak to someone impartial before making such a drastic move.

I completely understand why you are concerned. I would be too. At the end of the day all you can do is as a PP said. Help them lay out the pro's and con's and then leave it up to them. Hope it all goes ok.

YANBU I don't think it is suitable for their longer term needs even if it does solve the immediate problem of the mortgage. Your DDad is 72, will he still want to live in a static home when he is 82. What happens in bad weather if they can't drive to the shops / doctor etc.

Ultimately it's their decision but I can understand why you are concerned.

I think you are right to be concerned. What they're proposing sounds fun for a few years but where would they go from there and how would they fund it? Ultimately though, all you can do is talk it through with them and maybe encourage them to talk to a financial advisor.

I’d be concerned too op surely they’d be better off downsizing where they are and buying outright have you looked at rightmove maybe show them other options

They're a bit older than me but not a lot and I think they're stark staring bonkers. As you get older you need more security, not less.

Where I live there are a couple of big old houses that have been converted to retirement flats. They have huge gardens with river frontage, they're gorgeous. They're also relatively cheap as they're only available to over 55s. I'd move into one in a heartbeat.

Can you find some really nice retirement flats near you and take them to see them? I think the only way you might change their minds on a crazy decision is to show them some viable and much more sensible alternatives.

Could they just go for an equity release scheme? So they stay in their house, but when they die most of the value of the house goes to the equity scheme broker.
Then they could stay in their current home and not have the expense of moving too.

If they need to keep working til they’re both well into their 70s in their current situation then I think they’re wise to look at alternatives. Perhaps relocating to a house in a much cheaper part of the country would be another option? I can see their point about not wanting to continue as they are though. Also, if they didn’t get a mortgage until their fifties, and don’t have much in the way of assets I’m assuming they haven’t got great pension provision? I can totally see why they don’t want to continue working for 7 years and then retire and perhaps still not be able to afford the house they’re in

My mum and dad did this, was a big mistake. A static is not the place to live as you get older. Things like the loos are small, beds are small, and it just doesn't make for easy living.

Also, not sure if this is the case all the time but with my mum and dad, because they had to vacate the park it's not classed as permanent accommodation hence no council tax and no rights to call an ambulance etc. My mum was really ill and her lung collapsed and when my dad called an ambulance it caused untold problems.

It is their decision of course but YWNBU to point out all the pitfalls.

Where do they say they are going to stay in the Feb when they have to get out ? Much as I’m against equity release / life time mortgage schemes would that not be a better option for them . I can see why you are concerned and much as it’s their decision I would want it on record that I had told them it was a mistake for when it all goes wrong .

Could you suggest that they try renting a similar house for a month or two in, say, November?

DH once wanted to buy one of those. I was horrified. He stayed there in winter for a few days and came back cured of the idea. ;)

Cross posted with wishful - buying an actual flat or house somewhere cheaper sounds a much better option. If they’re looking to move to a new area anyway, it’s not like staying in their current location is of great importance. A proper home will avoid the pitfalls of having to move out each Feb etc

I don't think YABU. Your parents sound like the kind if people who just decide one day that they will buy a farm despite never having lived in the city their entire lives. Then when the reality dawns on them it's too late. I'm your place I would ask them to sit down with you and discuss what exactly they want to achieve and how best to do that. There are so many problems with their current plan that it seems like they haven't really thought about it.

What about suggesting they try holiday park home living before committing. They rent out their house and rent a park home. Hopefully the figures will work out.

They are being reckless, but it's their money, their life. Get a copy of the terms and conditions of the holiday park. It could be shocking. They will have no security of tenure because it is a holiday park.

Have they looked at different static options?

My in laws did this but don't have to vacate once a year - I guess they pay council tax (unless there's an age exemption?) but do get the bins emptied etc so benefit from it. Would staying somewhere else for a month a year be more expensive than a months council tax?

Is it a holiday park rather than a retirement village, I should think there will be different provision at each in the small print.

I can pm you the place they live at for comparison if you like.

The static home itself suits them just right and they're very happy there so it can be the right thing. They're also within a town so walking distance from shops, which has been important as we have managed to get FIL to give up driving.

I have relatives who live in a static on a site. They have really struggled this winter as it’s been so bitterly cold and they were spending hundreds of pounds a month just trying to heat the caravan and were without water for a couple of days due to frozen pipes. They had minimal help from site maintenance. Their ground is around £4000 a year. At one point they looked at selling the caravan back to the site, they paid £62000 for it and were offered £30000 after only 12 months!! I think they are now regretting their decision.

can you speak with your siblings and you all speak with them together?

Ultimately it is their choice, but of course you should be worried. it sounds like you are the nearest in location, so most likely the one who would need to help them pick up the pieces.

if this goes to pot, then its you that will be relied on to make it better. I would actually be telling them if they made the decision to do this, and it went wrong they would not be able to rely on my support to pull their life back together. it wouldnt be the worst idea, except it means giving up a house they own which is more stable, than owning a static home, on the land that they rent.

I'd be worried too, OP.
I don't know if it's still the case but it used to be a rule on a park
my friends parents lived on that you had to replace the home with a new one
every so many years (can't remember how many.)

These park homes aren't as well built as bricks and mortar places and can get damp/rotten if running repairs are missed.