Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 2 DC is a whole new ball game...

51 replies

mommathatwearspink · 26/03/2018 21:39

DD is nearly 4 and a lovely little girl. When she was born we were more than ready for her and she just fit into our life perfectly... it certainly helped that she was a good sleeper and adapted to any changes.
Two DC has always been in our life plan and so DS was born last year. Nearly one year on and I can honestly say, we are still in shock! We thought DS would just fit in and things wouldn't be much different but this is a whole new ball game... we are constantly tired, rushed and self-care is right at the bottom of the pile. Please tell me it's not just us that have struggled with the transition from one to two DC?

OP posts:
covetingthepreciousthings · 26/03/2018 21:40

I read a quote saying "one child is like having a pet... two is a zoo" this was definitely true for us & it's always stuck in my head.
Our youngest doesn't sleep & it's just a nightmare to get anything done inbetween work / school.

LadyMetroland · 26/03/2018 21:42

Entirely normal.
I have 3 and can honestly say the leap from 1-2 was much more of a shock than 2-3.
Basically life is knackering until the youngest reaches around 3, then you forget about how awful it was!

notthatonethanks · 26/03/2018 21:45

I only have one DC so far but am TTC #2 so interested in this topic!

OP, is it made more challenging because of the different personalities of your DC (sounds like your DD was one if those fabled "easy" babies)? Or is there just something particularly challenging about two small kids at once no matter what they are like?

DragonMamma · 26/03/2018 21:48

1-2 was ten times harder than 0-1, I agree. I’m not entirely sure why but it felt like swimming in treacle for most of the time.

I wasn’t brave enough to go from 2-3 but I heard it’s not that bad in comparison as 1-2, but I wasn’t prepared to test that theory!

DragonMamma · 26/03/2018 21:49

I should add that DC2 was an easier child than DC1 so I dread to think what it would have been like if the reverse was trueConfused

Aprilmightmemynewname · 26/03/2018 21:52

With 11 dc it really is a zoo here.....

Onemorecornetto · 26/03/2018 21:53

See I found 1-2 a breeze compared to 0-1.
DC1 was certainly not an easy baby though and DC2 was much more of a ‘fit in with what’s going on’ type character.
Absolutely nothing has ever come close to the first 6 weeks with DC1!

wendz86 · 26/03/2018 21:54

I found 0-1 harder than 1-2 but probably because 0-1 was a massive shock to me . Also dd2 was a lot easier as a baby and more chilled out .

CryingMessFFS · 26/03/2018 21:55

I’m the opposite, 0-1 properly shocked me. 1-2 was easy. My eldest is the more ‘hard work’ - crap sleeper until a year old, constantly on the go, into everything, had loads of tantrums, and now, at 4, is hilarious but can still be an absolute turd. My youngest slept through from 6 weeksish, is naturally very compliant and laid back, she’s had 1 tantrum her entire life and basically just slotted into our lives. She’s 2 now and better behaved than her older brother by a mile. So I think the kids personalities made a massive difference!

10storeylovesong · 26/03/2018 21:57

For anyone TTC #2 who’ve read this and panicked - it’s not always the case! DS1 was a very difficult baby - he never ate, never slept more than an hour until he was 15 months and was a very demanding baby. Even at 5 years old, he is still very challenging. I was more than ready for a baby then struggled so much.

DS2 is 6 months old and an absolute dream. He sleeps (most of the time), feeds well and has a very placid personality. He has just slot into our lives with ease and my two sons adore each other and keep each other entertained.

Had they arrived the other way around I think I would have broken! I very much think that it depends on the personality’s of the children.

woodlands01 · 26/03/2018 21:57

I'm still struggling and mine are 15 and 17!
Sleep deprived wondering where they are.
Rushed around facilitating their social like (I thought I'd get mine back - how naive was I?)
I never really got the self care back......

woodlands01 · 26/03/2018 21:57

social LIFE

Original poster
mommathatwearspink · 26/03/2018 21:59

notthatone looking back DD was an easy baby. To be honest, apart from being a bit of a stroppy three-nager she still is easy going. DS has been much harder and I think that has made a difference in how we've found the transition to two.

OP posts:
MiniMileyMoo · 26/03/2018 22:02

Definitely a personality thing! My DS1 (now 5) has always been quite highly strung, hates to be alone, never liked sleep. DS2 (now 2) is much more laid back but has some special needs so needs quite a lot of input, though doesn't demand it as such (eg therapy time / appointments). So that particular combo made life hard when DS2 came along! It is knackering having two...constantly on the go - playing/tiding/cooking/life admin etc etc! Has improved a bit now older DS at school!

cheminotte · 26/03/2018 22:03

Yanbu. It is having more than one person to think about and not just your relationship with each child but theirs with each other. On the rare occasion we only have one child it's like a mini-break!

Plasticgold · 26/03/2018 22:07

Yes!

DD was calm, a sitter, loved the company of people so was happy as long as she was with me. She was quite tantrummy though!

DS is very funny, a true character. He has to be on the go constantly. Has got allergies, doesn't sleep well. He climbs or eats EVERYTHING! I'm knackered and he's only 16 months.

formerbabe · 26/03/2018 22:11

I found one DC a breeze.

Having two was definitely a shock to the system. Looking after a toddler and a newborn is imo one of the hardest, most exhausting things ever!

Thurlow · 26/03/2018 22:12

This is interesting. I think I found having one child more of a shock to the system than having 2. To be fair, we're lucky that so far neither of them have been high needs children at all. DD, with hindsight, was an absolute dream baby. DS seemed worse by comparison but was still realistically an easy baby!

It's harder now he's approaching toddlerdom and she is 6, juggling two very different sets of needs is challenging.

But the one thing I agree on wholeheartedly is that yes, self care is a thing of the past! As an example I'm currently on my fourth bout of tonsillitis in 6 weeks and I knew that having no ability to just rest and recover has had a big effect on that. There's just not the time with two kids and both parents working.

But apart from that I can't complain. So there is hope for those planning on no 2!

formerbabe · 26/03/2018 22:13

With 11 dc it really is a zoo here.....

11 children Shock
Wow...you must have more energy than me! I only have two and I'm exhausted!

Spanneroo · 26/03/2018 22:29

1-2 has been wayyyyy harder than 0-1 for us.

DD1 had reflux, was a very poor sleeper until just shy of a year and was/is very high demand socially. Constant need for communication or physical contact of some sort. She's nearly 4 now.

We reckoned DD2 could at worst be as hard as she was but we were wrong. She is significantly harder. And sleeps much worse. The problem with DD2 is that she has the sense of adventure of a kitten but the physical prowess of a potato so she is constantly endangering herself at speed. She is also a real monkey see, monkey do sort of kid so she only has to watch you undo a childlock once and she's got full access to that place you didn't want her to have access to like the toolbox with the saw and hammer in it

Balancing the two of them is torture some days to be honest, especially on 2-3 hours of sleep (or less). But we're considering number 3 so I think we must have been driven mad with it.

Clarabumps · 26/03/2018 22:31

1-2 was like being hit in the face with a hammer, 2-3 was a walk in the park in comparison.

Luckymummy22 · 26/03/2018 22:36

DD 1st born - such an easy baby.

DS 2nd born. A wonderful little boy and the best character i’ve ever met but if he had been 1st.......................

Almost 3 1/2 years down the line having him in our bed every night does mean no more www shits will be born 😂

TheSconeOfStone · 26/03/2018 22:36

I found 0-1 much, much harder than 1-2. You were really lucky with an easy baby first time. Our baby struggled with feeding, reflux, colic, wouldn’t in the day, inflexible with sleep at night. Our lives were thrown up in the air already when baby 2 arrived. She slotted right in and really completed our family.

Luckymummy22 · 26/03/2018 22:40

For us it was DC2 that had the really bad reflux. And we had to deal with eldest too 😭

RicStar · 26/03/2018 22:42

I also found 0-1 and pregnancy with ds much harder than once ds (dc2) was here. Am expecting dc3 now so blindly hope the trend continues.

Swipe left for the next trending thread