Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To think 2 DC is a whole new ball game...

51 replies

mommathatwearspink · 26/03/2018 21:39

DD is nearly 4 and a lovely little girl. When she was born we were more than ready for her and she just fit into our life perfectly... it certainly helped that she was a good sleeper and adapted to any changes.
Two DC has always been in our life plan and so DS was born last year. Nearly one year on and I can honestly say, we are still in shock! We thought DS would just fit in and things wouldn't be much different but this is a whole new ball game... we are constantly tired, rushed and self-care is right at the bottom of the pile. Please tell me it's not just us that have struggled with the transition from one to two DC?

OP posts:

Believeitornot · 26/03/2018 22:43

0-1 was harder in something ways because I wasn’t used to being a mother.
2nd time it was easier as I knew what to expect.
It is the sibling rivalry stuff which is difficult to navigate!

LokiBear · 26/03/2018 22:45

Dd1 was a huge challenge. She had colic and screamed all day. Becoming a mum was the first thing I ever felt like I couldn't get better at with hard work, effort and determination. Dd2 was a breeze as a baby by comparison. She just fitted in and I was better because I'd been there and done it. However, now she is 14 months I'm struggling. I'm trying to parent a toddler and a 6.5 year old, hold down a full time teaching job/HOY position and somehow find the time and energy to be a wife and a person in my own right. I literally have no time to myself. My house is a shit tip, im knackered all of the time. DH is the same. I keep reminding myself that she will grow and I will miss this bit.

Lollipop30 · 26/03/2018 22:48

I actually think it’s down to their temperament and age gap etc. I had two really easy babies to start with so didn’t get the hype about 1-2 being difficult at all. And everyone says 2-3 is easier but I’ve not found that at all. Simply because she has been my first baby to have colic, plus running round after a 4 and 1yr old makes things very tiring!!

mumtomaxwell · 26/03/2018 23:20

We went from 0-2 (twins) which was a massive shock at first but ultimately wonderful. However nothing could have prepared us for the impact of DC3!!! The DTs were a million times easier! DC3 is 5yrs old and I still look at them all sometimes and think “wow, we’ve got 3 children!”

Mydoghatesthebath · 26/03/2018 23:27

Personality from day 1 I think not numbers or gender or time between.

Ds1 and 2 17 months apart. Pretty easy. Ds3 2 year later a non sleeper challenge. Ds4 2 years again easy peasy and dd1 another 2 nightmare sleeper dd 2 angel.

It’s luck bad or otherwise

Thundercatshoooo · 26/03/2018 23:36

We went from 1-2 last year too with quite a small age gap of 18 months. I have to say our second has been a much easier baby than our 1st, just much more settled and easier in every way possible. So going from 1-2 was quite easy really compared to 0-1, that said we are completely exhausted. Our eldest never sleeps and the youngest is still waking up 3 times in the night to feed at 9 months old. It hasn't put us off having 1 more, but I think we'll wait a while !

GrockleBocs · 26/03/2018 23:45

0-1 was a shock but 1-2 was more challenging. Dc1 was a pretty placid child but dc2 was a premature, refluxy, bundle of energy who laughed at 'No!' and never slept. It's the balancing act of dealing with keeping the most important people in the world safe, fed, happy and nobody losing out.

coldlocation · 26/03/2018 23:47

I went from 1 to 3 as ds2 turned out to be Dt's...it was just a bit chaotic but I found 0-1 more of a shocker. Could've done without dt1 having appalling reflux too...

Original poster

mommathatwearspink · 27/03/2018 00:43

So good to know that it's not just us!

It's interesting to hear how many of you had babies with reflux who aren't easy. DS has had bad reflux since day one... that along with sleep issues and a constant need to be attached to me or whinges constantly has made it really difficult this time around.

OP posts:

Narkle · 27/03/2018 05:05

I was quite young with DC1 and they somehow managed to slot in quite well.

DC2 came along much later and I've always wondered whether my older age has contributed to me feeling like I'm wading through mud all the time. My body certainly coped much less well with pregnancy, despite less sickness.

What doesn't help with the second one is that you will have set commitments with the first, so maternity leave is far less relaxing than with just one to look after. No lounging around in PJs in bed all day if you feel like it when there's a school run to be done twice a day, plus a whole lot of clubs for DC1 to attend. That's the biggest shock to the system.

By the time your third comes along you're kind of used to not having any time to yourself.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 27/03/2018 05:25

I literally cried in the shower every morning for the first two months with dc2. Huge sobs. Couldn't get him to sleep, couldn't manage to leave the house, dc1 was driving me mad although I was also feeling hugely guilty at how his life had been turned upside down.

I look back at that time of my life and shudder.

Dc2 is almost 10m now and it's so, so much easier. But still hard. And there will be no dc3!

feesh · 27/03/2018 05:35

I had twins first and thought having a third would be a doddle. But going from 2-3 has nearly killed me! I’m lamenting the fact that the twins were old enough that we could do stuff —like dump them in children’s club on holiday and go off and do our own thing— but now we have gone back to square one again!

littlepeas · 27/03/2018 05:55

All sorts of things make a difference - for me, I think it was my own experience and I found the transition from 0-1 the most difficult - each subsequent dc (I have 3, with small age gaps) was easier. Dc3 was a doddle - I knew what I was doing, everything felt straightforward. All of my dc were similar as babies - not amazingly easy, but not the most difficult, non-sleeping, colicky babies either.

GreenRut · 27/03/2018 06:35

Not really your question but I see an awful lot of people generally saying 2-3 is much less of a shock/ less hard than 1-2. I spent my entire 3rd pregnancy happily telling everyone it would be fine, don't you know it's going to be easier?!

Erm, nope. It's a bloody nightmare. 2 is like a holiday. 3 is chaos personified! (Might just be my 3 )

Bananamanfan · 27/03/2018 06:41

Me & DH were also completely shocked at the transition from 1-2 (we also had a teenager, but he wasn't any trouble). It was somehow way more than twice the work. Dc3 is 4 now & life has been a breeze for the last year or so.

MsJuniper · 27/03/2018 06:51

I am having DC2 tomorrow so am hoping for an experience more like some of the posters here who've found 0-1 tougher.

We did have a tough start with DS due to a tongue tie, failure to thrive, CMPI and general sleep dodging until 13mo. He also had a cracking bout of terrible twos and even though he is now a lovely 5yo he still struggles with managing emotions.

I'm pretty sure DD is going to be a dream and will feed well, sleep well and be smiley and calm (well that's what I'm telling myself )

Arapaima · 27/03/2018 06:52

For me, DC1 was a shock, DC2 was a breeze and DC3 was the hardest of all. It mainly depends on how well they sleep IMO!

Ski4130 · 27/03/2018 06:54

0-1 was the shocker for me, 1-2 was way easier and 2-3 was/is a breeze.

PussCatTheGoldfish · 27/03/2018 07:01

0-1 was a HUGE shock.

To buck the trend she was an easy baby, but the birth was difficult and I felt run over by a bus for weeks/months. I'd never even held a baby before her so it was a very steep learning curve.

1-2 DD2 (DD1 was 17 months old) Even though she was a more sickly child, it honestly was so much easy. I knew what to do! she was a terrible 2 for slot longer than a year though.

Belphegor · 27/03/2018 07:05

"the leap from 1-2 was much more of a shock than 2-3."

That's what I found, too. I wondered what the hell I'd done all day when I just had one newborn!

Bythebeach · 27/03/2018 07:10

For us, DC2 simply slotted in. But he was the easiest baby.DC3 however! 5 years on and it is still a win if I get to shower, wash my hair and spend 10 minutes on my hair/makeup daily. Number 3 also broke DH who has definitely aged with the endless sleep disruption!

IckleWicklePumperNickle · 27/03/2018 07:10

DC2 just slotted into our lives. He's a joy.

Chimchar · 27/03/2018 07:13

I found 0-1 the most difficult. I really struggled. PND, health issues, baby that cried constantly, never napped or slept, little support around me.
1-2 was pretty easy, and 2-3 was no problem at all!

I think each time your family dynamic changes, it brings its own challenges....I think the first year or so of any child's life can be really tough for parents...hormones, lack of sleep, trying to carry on with routines, maybe work etc... it'll fall into place soon enough.

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 27/03/2018 07:25

We went from 1 to 3 and it was like a nuclear bomb dropping into our lives. It’s been great fun though!

notfromstepford · 27/03/2018 11:53

When I was pregnant with DC2 someone said to me - having two children is much more than twice the work.
It was very true. DS2 did slot in really well, but I found it took more planning to juggle everything effectively when I went back to work full time but now they are 6 and 2, they play together well so it's getting easier (apart from the fighting every now and then) in that respect it does get easier.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread