AIBU to worry about my daughter's weight and limit what she eats?

[procrastinationsupremo]

My daughter is 2 years old. We recently measured her for fun to mark on the door frame. Then she went into hospital with croup and they weighed her to work out how much medication to give her. I put the information into a BMI calculator, which said that she is obese. Since moving onto solids she has always had a very healthy appetite and will eat pretty much whatever she's given. Because she has always eaten big meals I have never given her any snacks in between. She is never given cake, crisps, biscuits etc. unless we're at a party etc. I have asked the nurse and staff at her nursery about her weight and they have all said that she doesn't appear overweight at all and that the BMI is not a good measure for younger children. I have struggled with my weight over the years and don't want to pass my anxieties on to her. Similarly I don't want to set her up with a weight problem. She is very active and constantly on the go, but I do worry about how much she eats and wonder how much she would eat if we didn't monitor her portion sizes. Buffets are particularly difficult! I know my friends think I'm being uptight and a bit mean, but their children are all very skinny (as Mumsnet always seems to say children 'should be') and they are constantly offering their children snacks they seem utterly disinterested in! Perhaps I should relax a bit?? I'd be grateful for any advice.

I’ll say again - you should see your hv before you do any cut backs, you may not have a normal view of what toddlers look like. You sound as though you are projecting your worries about having grown up feeling fat onto the 2 year old - I sympathise in that, you’ve sought reassurance from nursery and it hasn’t reassured you though, so you really need to see your HV - of course they will see you if you ring them up.

I wouldn’t restrict her but I wouldn’t let her eat as much as she likes of anything

🤔 That sounds like restricting her diet to me. 💁🏻

@Peanutbuttercups21 so pleased to hear someone else boycotted the weigh ins. The information they gather isn't even for useful advice for parents. It's so they can use the data to justify public health funding. There are better ways of engaging parents than a blanket letter!

If she is 2 she will probably be due her 2 year check soon, when her weight and height will be measured. I'm sure the HV will let you know if there are any concerns. It's normal for many 2 year olds to be a bit chubby, they usually slim down by around 3 or 4.

It doesn't sound to me as if you are overfeeding your daughter, in fact I would be inclined to add in a couple of snacks of fresh fruit or vegetable sticks, since her fruit/veg intake isn't that high.

OP, how is your child built? I ask because DD, now 3, was also overweight at her 2 year check but she's a stocky child. Her Dad is 6'4" and built like a rugby player. DD is exactly his shape and has a chubby face (has since birth) but very little chubb on the rest of her, and certainly not any rolls or a big belly. I suspect she's going to come up as overweight at every check but I'll take it with a pinch of salt. She's got a healthy appetite but she never stops moving. She's a real monkey for 'naughty' foods but we just limit them and try to keep an eye on portions. I really think BMI is such a blunt tool because it doesn't take into account body type. Try not to stress about it.

I wouldn’t restrict the AMOUNT she eats. My kids can eat 5 pieces of fruit in between meals if they’re hungry but I wouldn’t let them eat 5 chocolate bars. Surely that’s just common sense!
Bmi is a much better gauge of whether or not a child is overweight. Looking at them and thinking they look fine isn’t a good measure - a lot of kids these days are overweight and unless they are massively overweight it does look normal!

I would say, trying to be as objective as possible that she is 'solid'. Her weight is very evenly distributed and she just looks 'well covered' rather than chubby. She often has a very big tummy after eating (which I think is common in small children?) but this is gone by morning. She is very 'busy' but quite physically cautious so doesn't run around full tilt/throw herself around like some children I know. She is very happy and sunny so I don't think she's hungry! Honestly I'd rather forget about it and just feed her healthy food 'on demand' I just don't want to do her a disservice! You've all given some good advice, thank you. I think I'll try and relax a bit, give her more vegetables (we tend to be a bit fruit heavy!) and see what the HV says at her next check (not till 2.5 in these parts)

It is normal to have a big tummy for toddlers after eating - please relax a bit - your HV will see you sooner if you have concerns.

YAbu - do NOT restrict what she eats. Put a good selection of food out for her, lots of veg, fruit, carbs just water or milk to drink. Preferably no milk with meals. No sugary drinks or snacks and smaller healthy snacks. She sounds NORMAL to me - let her eat till she’s full then she will stop.
You’re projecting your food issues into her. She eat a lot when she’s hungry or having growth spurts and less later when she’s older. As long as she’s got plenty of energy and is active it doesn’t really matter

My healthy five year olds stomach goes round when she’s jus eaten but goes down later. Practically concave in the morning before she has breakfast! She’s a great eater, in proportion weight/height wise and full of beans, which is all you really want

trying to be as objective as possible that she is 'solid'.

I was, when I was a littl'un. Little stocky thing I was. Podgy and short as a teenager. I never grew very tall, but I reached a very normal adult weight, at the low end of the normal range.