Aibu family being difficult

[Wineallthetime]

Bit of a long one sorry but am so cross! DH and I have brought a wreck of a camper van with the intention of doing it up and it being for all the family to enjoy. When we told family what we'd done they thought we were mad, but also excited and all offered to babysit so we could work on it. So far mums done 8 ish hours and dad and step mum together X3 over the last 6 weeks.

Mum came to stay this weekend with the intention of babysitting on Sunday so we could crack on but on Friday she told me she'd had a bad week at work, was too tired to baby sit (ds is 1 and dd3 so a handful) but she still wanted to come. I tried my dad and a few friends to see if anyone could have the children with no joy as too short notice. Therefore she was here the whole weekend and we weren't able to do any work as the jobs needed two people. I fully understand she's had a bad week but suggested she give us more notice next time as the workshop where the vans kept is costing us money every week and she could of stayed at home and had a nice rest!

So this didn't happen again I've tried to line up dad step mum and brother, friends etc so we can get the work done. In a nut shell my dads not even bothered to reply, my brother who originally said he'd come two weekends running is now coming for one day and mums told me she's too busy. I don't expect them to have the children,, they hardly ever do, I know they are hard work, I'm a full time mum and never have a day off, but they all said they'd chip in and help and now none of them want to. We have other people who can help but I thought they'd like to see the children as they always offer to look after them, they offer all the time.

Compared to some families they hardly see them and when they do it's always on their terms e.g. They come here, I host them for lunch and walk To the park etc, I don't just ditch the children and go out!

So am I right to be annoyed? Should I say something or let it go?

Also the children are not badly behaved, or that hard work really, I was brought up mainly by a nanny at the children's age so I think it's more likely that they don't understand how toddlers behave. They all always bang on about how wonderfully well behaved they are when they've seen them!

FYI to some commenters dad and step mum Iove campers, had one a few years ago but gave it up as it was costing too much to run, which is one reason we thought this would be a nice idea as they could use ours.

And this is part of your problem right here OP. If you are like me, you organise things with other people in mind also. You are on a slippery slope to disappointment if you are hoping that they see or even appreciate this and will do everything they can to assist in return. Nice if they do but best not to expect it.

complain to me that they don't see them then let us down

Maybe they want to see them, but you’re effectively asking for childcare of a 1 and 3 year old-that’s probably quite hard work! Maybe they would rather see them with you there?

Get some proper childcare so you can work on your project and stop asking them to do it. If they ask why, tell them.

YABU to expect your family to provide free childcare whilst you work on your camper van, but it works both ways - when the van is finished, you're not obliged to let anyone borrow it for a holiday, since they haven't helped you out.