Sick of attitudes around invisible disabilities

[InvisiblePrejudice]

There’s so much more awareness of hidden/invisible disabilities now yet all I seem to encounter is ignorance

-‘he looks fine’
-‘he was fine when I saw him’
-‘but he did x that day so can do it every time’

Wtf? This isn’t even just random people it’s those who should know better (school I’m looking at you).
Why are people so ignorant and disbelieving? Do you have to have limbs hanging off before you are believed ? I’m sick of it

I agree with you.

The Paralympics had the opposite effect than you would hope. They are held up as something that everyone should be capable of and if you aren't, you are just making excuses..

The latest one seems to be that if you can fill in a DWP form in time, attend the JC, then you are fit for work.

YANB at all U.
So much bullshit spouted by the government that MH issues would receive the same resources etc. And God forbid that you should have an illness that fluctuates. BS all of it!

You have to not care what other people think, unless their perception results in you being treated unfairly in some way, in which case of course you must challenge it but other than that people can think what they like.

“There’s no correlation between what’s in paper about this child and whatbwe actually see”

I actually worked out that his particular gem of an early years practitioner only saw my son for approx 6.5% of the week 🤔 hownon earth she felt qualified to make any comment on his health and functioning is beyond me

You just have to look at the number of pip claims that are scored as 0 points due to mental health issues. It is disgusting to think that someone who has met you for 30 minutes and may not have any training in your condition can pass judgement ie yes a person can fold the piece of paper that doesn't mean they can work or someone who doesn't wash and change their clothes due to learning disabilities is choosing to not do these activities.

And what's worse is that with a mental health condition you are less likely to challenge decisions ie a pip decision unless you have a very supportive family.

Exactly. it’s disgusting

Does deafness count as an invisible disability? Those Specsavers adverts taking the piss out of an older person who is supposedly hard of hearing are currently making me so angry. Is there any other disability where this would be tolerated?

Just imagine if that Guide Dog advert where they show people who have had sepsis, etc and then went blind, falling into a hole and then announcing - 'Should've got a guide dog!' followed by some tinkly 'hahaha' music.

Deafness isn't funny.

goingatlast you're so right. Deafness is often seen as a subject to make fun of but it ain't funny. My DH is deaf and it's made a huge difference to his confidence and his self esteem. Being deaf is very isolating and, of course, largely invisible.

Don't even get me started on this issue. I was pleased when ARUK started doing adverts last year but they lasted about two weeks on the tv and not seen them since. We need a sustained plan to get people to understand.

And as for the PIP assessors, I have no repeatable words for many of them 😡

"All he needs to do is sit still and pay attention" in a school report for a friend's son who has ADHD.

"Has she grown out of her Dyspraxia yet?" friend's SIL

"The only person you need to see is a psychiatrist, you are not disabled, it's all in your mind" Spat out by a senior hospital consultant to someone trying to have extreme fatigue investigated.

"But you don't look disabled" too many times to count.

"There's nothing wrong with that kid, my husband's uncle's nephew's sister's cleaner has a kid just the same/a kid who does that all the time and there's nothing wrong with him.

"I'll never have time to look at that, there's nothing wrong with him anyway' relative on being given a booklet about child's condition in the hope of understanding and maybe more contact or even sleepovers.

'That kid wouldn't behave like that if he was mine, all he needs is a good slap' random strangers in the supermarket.

I agree with the poster up thread's comments about the Paralympics. While the participants are very admirable,they ARE in the minority. Unfortunately,a hell of a lot of people (who usually know little or nothing about disabilities) are holding them up as a 'shining example' of how all disabled people should be,or at least,aspire to. The majority of people who have a prosthetic leg are not going to be capable of running marathons,or 400 metres in record time. While these people are excellent examples of how disability can be overcome,it should be realised that they are the EXCEPTION,not the norm.

Regarding invisible disabilities,Michael MacIntyre did a great spiel about disabled car parking spaces. He said we've all done it,surreptitiously watched someone getting out of a car parked in a disabled space,in order to 'judge' whether they are 'entitled' to it or not. He goes on to say,what are we expecting to see? That they literally fall out of the car,then drag themselves by their hands across the car park?! I know this is a serious matter,but what he said did actually have a lot of truth in it.

I have EDS and CFS. I'm with you OP. 'But you don't look disabled' is a constant

I had to explain why my sons seat in the classroom was no good to the teacher AGAIN. He can see approx 2 m but that’s hard going. At 4 meters away the board might as well be on the moon for how well he could see it.
“He was wearing his glasses though” that’ll be the glasses that allow him to read font size 18 will it!
If it wouldn’t be extremely humiliating I would like him to wear a jumper that says “I CANT SEE” on it because everyone forgets. My dm left him in the middle of a car park yesterday “because he copes so well”.

I have to say on the whole people are very sympathetic when you tell them and often moved to tears. I do not know how you cope when people don’t believe you. I’m inclined to the punch them in the face and tell them they need to a positive attitude about a sore nose school of thought.
Is there some way a buzzer can go off every time someone with a disability is struggling? The noise would be deafening

I agree wholeheartedly. DH has terminal lung cancer but on a good day doesn't look too sick and doesn't always need to use his cane to get about. He had a lung removed before Christmas and struggles to walk far without lots of stops to rest but the dirty looks we get when we pull up in a disabled car park space and get out the car together - both looking fit and well - are unbelievable. He was challenged by another shopper about whose blue badge he was fraudulently using last week. It's ignorant and offensive - why would you assume that someone who displays a blue badge but isn't using a stick or wheelchair is trying to game the system?

DD2’s last report discussed the need for organising herself better and presenting her work neatly. She has dyspraxia.

I often get evil looks for parking in a disabled bay. I hold a blue badge and use crutches.

The Specsavers ads are horrible and just unnecessary (I’m deaf too)

But have you not seen the amount of disability bashing that goes on on Mumsnet for a start? It doesn’t matter how many times Mumsnet links to that campaign of theirs, discussions always go downhill at spead, disablism crops up and thread is deleted.

Just a moment ago I saw a comment on the baby and toddler parking space one about wait until the invisible disabilities people turn up. It’s constant and insidious.

No we haven’t, ALongHardWinter

With that being said, some disabilities do not require extra space or being close to the store and some people temporarily in need may find better use of them.

It’s just about common sense and consideration.

I would like him to wear a jumper that says “I CANT SEE” 😁

I often use a scooter, like a kids scooter but for adults. I would like a sign on my back that says "I have arthritis in my feet and every step hurts so sometimes I scoot, even though I am an adult. So fuck off with your snidey comments".

But that probably wouldn't fit very well on a jumper and no-one would bother to read it anyway. They would still judge based on the fact that when I am not walking I look healthy and strong.

That emoji was meant to be smiling but on my phone he looks angry. I am too old for emojis

Yup it drives me mad.

I have just seen a comment on another thread from someone not understanding why someone with autistim May struggle in a car park. I walked away rather than posting “well aren’t you lucky to not know”

Everyday it's like hitting your head against a brick wall! My DS (6) has asd but is high functioning, he is also on lots of meds for epilepsy which affects behaviour. School are v good but it's OTHER PEOPLE, inc family, who just don't get that he's not just a little bugger! I'm heartily sick of judgey people who think it's a badly behaved child just because they can't see the disability. Usually it's involving their perceived slight/ how it could affect their precious NT child. Sigh.

While I’m on a rant. It’s not just the disability is it? Ds can’t recognise people so I always say who he’s talking to, it takes years to learn everyone without sight and people insist of changing their clothes. My dm is trying to make him less shy because he never talks to people in shops etc and takes ages to warm up. He’s not flipping shy, it could be Jack the Ripper for all he knows, on one occasion it was a manikin. I get forwarded endless tips for making him less shy.
It’s the whole kit and caboodle I guess is my point.

Only one person in my life knows about my hidden physical disability, even though I can only walk for a minute or two before I'm in serious pain. I hide it because I'm ashamed of being a young, disabled person. I shouldn't feel like that, and it's awful.

More people know about my mental illness, although still not everybody. I feel that all the work being done about removing the stigma is really helping, slowly. We need a similar campaign for other invisible disabilities.

I feel like I’m fighting a battle 24/7 to get the support we need but then of course everything is questioned like I’m making it all up because ‘he looks ok’
Can’t bloody put up with it any longer