To ask for a healthy debate whilst my dd naps. What are your thoughts on Gender selection?

[Forevertired19]

Being as though it's becoming a common topic I've seen an various celebrities opting for it. What do you think?
I'm 22 and due my second this coming week. I have one of each which I've always wanted so I'm done for life now. But I find it interesting as my DP's cousin is ttc and struggling, she has been for years but isn't allowed IVF free due to her partner fathering a child in a previous relationship.

Shes desperate for a boy for when she does conceive and doesn't really want a girl (which I'm baffled by. I know people have their preferences but surely a healthy baby is best?) but dp mentioned it to her and mentioned it can cost around the same? (I'm on about the Cyprus clinic) as she has to go private in the UK. Plus the additional costs on top of it which she will probably take as well, surely its best to go abroad? But she isn't interested and wants to chance for a boy. Mind blown.

What are your thoughts? I'm just happy for a healthy baby regardless. I'm done mainly as my ovaries aren't in good health and I'm not in the best health but If I could have another, I'd be really happy regardless.

Would they have known beforehand what they were having from a scan? Or were scans not available then?
Was the child put into care or did the mums tend to change their mind?

Or what if they are the "right" sex but don't behave how the parent thinks a boy/girl should behave? What then?

This is me. And probably why i have such strong feelings about gender stereotype.

I definitely don’t meet my mums expectations of a female. It’s tough. It has caused a rift between us because i refuse to behave in a more feminine way.

There’s an article on the bbc atm. About girls with aspergers. One, a lady with some sort of psychology qualification, talks about her experience. Her first sentence is “girls are naturally more sociable”.

No, they aren’t. They are conditioned to be more sociable. One of the things my mum dislikes about me is i am an introvert, happy in my own company. As a child i was always being pushed and expected to make friends and climb the social ranks. I forced myself to join in because that is what my mum wanted me to do. I just wanted to be allowed to sit and read my book, rather then negotiate whatever game that break time.

I remember watching a programme about 20 years ago where a woman gave birth and all she could say again and again was "Sorry it aint a boy Tone." It was quite sad to see a baby being welcomed like that

I don't think it's a massive deal for me tbh. If we allowed sex selection some people might have smaller families which would be better for the environment. It would stop the 'going for a girl?' type questions when people are extending their family because they want a large family and are not seeking to have the opposite sex to what they've got.

It makes no odds to me how many children people have, but I'd much rather people had a wanted boy though sex choosing than had 4 girls just to try to get the boy iyswim.

I really want another boy for A LOT of reasons.

I really want my child to be healthy.

I would be slightly disappointed but soon get over it and love a child the same regardless of sex.

I will be upset if my child has a disability but I would love my child the same and learn to deal with whatever issues they had.

You can't just shut your emotions off. You learn to deal with them and act appropriately.

But I am not that clued up on the science behind the procedure to make a judgement on it... If it's damaging to the Mum / other embryos etc. If they are fertilising several eggs and Just implanting the one with the right sex and disposing of other embryos then that is not right imo, but I think it's some kind of genetic manipulation - if that's right?
Like I said I'm not that informed on the science of it to give an opinion other than I wouldn't do it myself.

What if you pay ££££ for a child that has xy chromosomes, but it is born with a female brain and a female penis.

How does gender selection work if you can’t select the correctly gendered brain?

Dragon mummy no, it’s not genetic manipulation. It’s basically testing a pre-implantation embryo to see which ones are xx and which are xy. They so have to remove a cell/cells from the developing embryo- i’m not sure what the studies are on long term effects.

If they are fertilising several eggs and Just implanting the one with the right sex and disposing of other embryos then that is not right

That's exactly what it involves. Only implanting embryos of the "right" sex and either destroying the "wrong" sex embryos (or maybe donating them to another couple or medical science but I would bet in the majority of cases they are just discarded).

Choosing who gets a chance at life based purely on one characteristic: sex. Regardless of what other qualities that potential person may have had.

Having a feeling, a preference, is human. As long as that never influences how one loves or treats a child. Going as far as "playing god" based on one (arbitrary) characteristics is wrong imo

Where does it end? If choosing a male over a female is ok... what about blonde haired blues eyed? Tall? Sporty?

Genetics research is evolving all the time undercovering the genes responsible for certain characteristics.

It's the first step in genetically selecting babies. Like PP said upthread: treating humans as a consumer commodity

Who ever said 'Two boys would be dreadful'- really? I've got two boys and it's brilliant!!

Who ever said 'Two boys would be dreadful'- really? I've got two boys and it's brilliant!!

I can just imagine. Having to pretend to be interested in football, all that mud, having to put up with the play fighting, guns and swords shudder

Us girls just don’t have anything in common with dirty smelly boys, do we? Every woman wants a little girl they can dress up and treat like a princess. You can go shopping, to the spa, nice clean activities that boys have no interest in.

I suppose boys are more loving, until they grow up and find a wife and you never see them again. Girls might be bitchy as teens but then they have granddaughters you can spoil and buy pretty dresses all over again!

You must want a girl? Isn’t it awful living in a house with only males? All that piss on the toilet seat....

I fucking hate stereotypes. They are really damaging.

One of my friends has three boys and they're wonderful :)