To do nothing at weekends

[onionthebridge]

It’s hard, as I have nothing to do and no human interaction. The week is hard too but passes easier as I’m at work.

What about joining a yoga/pilates class? After a while you get to chat to people and you never know you might some friends there. I don't like to think of you on your own all weekend with not a soul to talk to!

you can't interact with people meaningfully until they know you well enough to know you have interesting things to say - not many people want to interact meaningfully with a stranger, and that's what you are to them at the moment. You have to do the legwork of getting out there and involved with people. Look at your facebook community pages to see if there's anything happening, particularly anything you could lend a hand with, as being useful is a good way of making people interact with you.

Meetups in Surrey
www.meetup.com/topics/surrey/
Search for Meetups Surrey UK, then there are others if you search for eg Meetups Guildford etc

To directly answer your question it’s your life and if you want to stay in that’s fine. I get the impression though that you’d like to go out and perhaps meet new people. Your location is key but if you’re in quite a built up area you could join meet ups, a local gym, volunteer or join a sports club. That’s what I have been doing in the last few weeks as I don’t know that many people in my area and it can feel quite isolating. I’ve met a tonne of people by doing these things and it’s just nice to have someone to go for a coffee with or a run.

You absolutely don't have to run to join in with parkrun! You can just volunteer - you can marshal (cheering and encouraging runners), scan barcodes, time runners, take photos...all sorts.

Look on the parkrun website to find your nearest run.

I know there maybe are things to do but I don’t really just want to do things, I want to interact with people meaningfully.

I get this op, I love talking to people meaningfully but it's hard to get into pretty deep level of conversations at, say, a sports or hobby group (unless you attend for ages and really get to know/like people). I've moved around a fair bit but when I'm new to an area I tend to check out women's groups (apologies, I'm presuming you're female?). Groups like Red Tent aren't everyone's cup of tea but I've been to a few around the UK and they're so friendly and warm, I've met some incredible friends through them.

This used to be me. I used to absolutely dread bank holidays because it would be another day alone. Everyone at work was excited and I hated it! I would go from leaving work on Friday to getting there Monday morning not having spoken to a soul. Far less lonely now as married with dc but we don’t have any family or friends really so I
Still feel it albeit very occasionally. and it’s horrible. If I could go back in time I definitely would have put myself out there more. Even a weekday class or something. There was no need for me so be so alone and as much as I love a bit of me time it’s not healthy if it’s sll the time. I feel did you because I know just how hard it can be xxx

When I first moved where I live now I was desperately lonely. So I made a deal with myself to say ‘yes’ to anything that was offered.

I also kept an eye out on notice board and local paper (now it’s probably Facebook) for classes, events and organisations holding newbie weeks,

I joined a tennis club, I was crap but so were all the other newbies, went climbing, joined a walking group, a literature group, photography class and other stuff I’ve forgotten because it didn’t work out.

Every weekend I made sure I left the house and did something, even if it was only a coffee in a cafe.

There are befriending voluntary groups - that would be meaningful work/conversation!

People have suggested loads of great things, all could lead to meaningful interaction but you don’t seem to want to try any of these things, maybe this is why you struggle to find friends (because you come across as not very outgoing and not willing to try new things)?

There are local groups almost everywhere that do lots of different things, it very unlikely that there is nothing near you.

Meeting people that you want to eventually have meaningful interaction with is a numbers game

I have eight really good friends who I could ring in the middle
of the night in a crisis. I met them through work, voluntary work, school gate and actually one is a mnetter from this site.

What the exact percentage hit rate of friendship is of the thousands of people I have met I have no idea but really tiny, and certainly under 1%. I'm around fifty so been around a long time to meet lots of people.

I ended up living in a very friendly place though where folk still say morning to complete strangers in the street quite often.

Surrey is FULL of people and things to do. Volunteering at parkrun is a great idea - everyone goes for coffee afterwards and I often don’t get home til near lunchtime. You don’t ever have to run, loads of our volunteers hate running but like the community it brings. I have met more friends in the 3 years I have done parkrun than in the previous 10 - seriously!
You don’t have to be ‘sporty’ to do Pilates, yoga, spin classes - just a willingness to try something new and get out of your comfort zone. It’s a great way to make friends, though it won’t happen instantly. You seem a bit defeatist - try to turn that round, or you’ve lost before you have even begun. Cliche but true. No more ‘that doesn’t work’ - try again or try something different and new, and it will work. Honest. Loads of good advice on here - a lot of us have been there. Good luck!

Have any of the suggestions so far interested you? You seem quite dismissive which I think is holding you back.

I find Facebook brilliant for showing events that are coming up, just go to events and see what's on over the next few weeks nearby. I go to tonnes of cool things that way from interest groups to debates to free lectures to coffee and cake get togethers, lots of people go alone and then get chatting to others. It helps if you have some interests to pursue though, for example mine are music, philosophy, psychology, animal rights, criminology, voluntary work and mental health, so anything along those lines I'm straight in there.

What are your main interests? Not just hobbies, interests. What would you want to learn more about or talk to others about?