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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To do nothing at weekends

63 replies

onionthebridge · 25/03/2018 14:45

It’s hard, as I have nothing to do and no human interaction. The week is hard too but passes easier as I’m at work.

OP posts:

Original poster

onionthebridge · 25/03/2018 15:45

I don’t really know what to do Trinity

Most weekend things are for families and I don’t know how to fill up tow whole days.

OP posts:

AnotherOriginalUsername · 25/03/2018 15:45

Volunteer

Lovemusic33 · 25/03/2018 15:48

I go out alone every weekend, I love it. It used to be hard but the more I went out the more I enjoyed it. I walk a lot and take my camera with me, often got to the coast and will sit in a cafe with coffee and cake happily on my own. I often listen to people moaning at their partners or trying to control their out of control children and I think to myself ‘my life’s pretty good’. I do have children but they spend half the weekend with their dad, they are teens now so rarely want to go out with me unless it involves Pizza Hut and spending a fortune.

I often bump into people whilst out and about, have made a few friends from a local photography group who say hello if we cross paths.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 25/03/2018 15:51

Eh? There's lots of people out and about on their own!

We've just got back in from a bike ride where DS was weaving between single joggers, single dog walkers, single people engrossed in their phones, single people doing yoga, single people hogging 4 person tables in cafes, single people buying cakes in the farmers market...basically doing all the same stuff everyone else does on a slightly dull Sunday.

Half of those single people have other people at home that they are escaping from btw.

But if you truly don't have fun on your own, have you considered a weekend job in a bar or restaurant? They often struggle for weekend staff (who actually turn up), and tend to be social.

gingertigercat · 25/03/2018 15:52

Go for a walk around your local park, if you have any districts nearby you, go for a hike etc.

join local community Facebook pages - they often have loads of group activities such as litter picks, coffee mornings etc. Or if you like knitting or reading there are normally loads of book clubs/knitting groups etc about.

Do a yoga course? Normally reasonably cheap, local and a good way to meet other people.

Judydreamsofhorses · 25/03/2018 15:52

I used to live alone and sometimes didn’t see anyone between Friday night and Monday morning - god forbid a bank holiday weekend. I used to do the following:

Try and arrange to see at least one person over the weekend, even if just for coffee for an hour - sometimes that meant sitting in soft play hell to see a friend with kids, but I just got on with it

I love reading, and baths, so would always have a massive bath with my book

Go for a walk/to the supermarket/local gallery - force myself to have one interaction, even if it was just a “good morning”

Get in nice food/bottle of wine for the Saturday evening.

I also used to go to the cinema a lot.

Now I live with my partner, and often long for a whole weekend by myself...

Trinity66 · 25/03/2018 15:52

*I don’t really know what to do Trinity

Most weekend things are for families and I don’t know how to fill up tow whole days.*

What about joining a walking group? That probably would take up a lot of the weekend. My daughters grandfather joined one of these after his wife died and he was lonely. It's great, they organise walking trips abroad and all

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 25/03/2018 15:55

Also, as I was bored out of my skull today, I was reflecting sadly on why I didn't make more use of my freedom.

I could have gone anywhere! I could have just decided "this weekend I'm going to Edinburgh/Cambridge/Barcelona...and gone. But did I? No. But you still can...

Lovemusic33 · 25/03/2018 16:02

I don’t think most weekend things are for families, what are these weekend things?

If you live near the coast you can go and pick up some plastic? National trust often want volunteers to plant trees, same as nature reserves. There are walking groups, running groups, the gym and craft groups? I see loads of people out on their own enjoying their own time. For me the weekends are not long enough. Today I am stuck at home as my car is broken, I hate the fact I’m stuck and can’t go off to one of my usual places for a walk or to spend time with nature. Stuck at home doing house work.

Ullupullu · 25/03/2018 16:07

Are you into social media? Can you explore your local area and further afield and share nice photos on Instagram? It would get you out, without social pressure

chocatoo · 25/03/2018 16:11

Find a friendly church?

giggidy1 · 25/03/2018 16:19

You sound like you don't want/aren't ready to help yourself?

I'm single and sometimes spend a whole weekend alone - I have this one.

Friday night I went to the gym then had a hot bath. Yesterday cleaned my whole house, did food shopping, made a massive bolognese batch cooking. Today I went for a really long run, then went into the city I live in and did some shopping. Now I'm relaxing at home.

I know weekends can be difficult as a single person but if you don't like it, you must change it. Arranging to see friends, joining groups, taking up sports - you have to find the courage to take the first step with all of these things and you haven't sounded keen in anything anyone has suggested so far. If you line your whole weekends alone then don't change them but if you don't you must do something about it!

Original poster

onionthebridge · 25/03/2018 16:28

Maybe it depends where you live but I just don’t know any groups or anything like that, and I’m not sporty.

OP posts:

WinstonlovesJulia1984 · 25/03/2018 16:29

There must be something you can join OP that interests you and would lead to meeting other people eg tennis club/amateur dramatics/book group/a local choir? As for things you can do alone - there is nothing I love more than going to the cinema by myself! If you include having lunch beforehand or coffee & cake afterwards, it takes up most of the afternoon

But I do sympathise - when I was 25 I took a job and went by myself to live on the other side of the world where I knew absolutely no-one and at first I felt just as you describe about weekends....

Lovemusic33 · 25/03/2018 16:40

Onion I like in the middle of nowhere, there are still things going on and if I drive a few miles there’s a gym (it’s not just for sporty people), swimming pool, cafes and nature reserves. I don’t think your looking hard enough, I could walk out my front door and find something, a nice walk, catch a bus (they don’t come very often but it’s possible).

Join ‘meet me’ and find loacal groups, my friend joined a walking group and goes out most weekends, she also goes to a movie group and a eating out group.

tierraJ · 25/03/2018 17:50

Is there a local pub / bar / coffee shop where you could sit with your laptop & a drink?

My gym is in a hotel with a bar, I often get a quick Diet Coke after the gym at the weekend & the bar staff are friendly.

Original poster

onionthebridge · 25/03/2018 18:52

I know there maybe are things to do but I don’t really just want to do things, I want to interact with people meaningfully.

OP posts:

gingertigercat · 25/03/2018 19:10

But that's how you meet these people op The easiest way to meet people and make friends is to get out and about.

Original poster

onionthebridge · 25/03/2018 19:39

It doesn’t seem to work ... I don't know

OP posts:

moita · 25/03/2018 19:52

It takes time and hobbies give you something to talk about. I do yoga - our class tends to rush in and rush out afterwards so don't really have any opportunity to chat to anyone. However, I was recently at a toddler group - got chatting to another mum who is also a yoga fan - we're meeting for a coffee next week.

Interests make us more interesting.

Crochetnanigans · 25/03/2018 20:15

What county are you in?

Original poster

onionthebridge · 25/03/2018 20:26

Surrey

OP posts:

Crochetnanigans · 25/03/2018 20:31

Was hoping you'd be nearby! But sadly not.

I joined a community choir when I felt like this. Was amazing and always something going off in other members lives that I was invited too.

I'm not much of a singer but it doesn't matter in a group too much!

WinstonlovesJulia1984 · 25/03/2018 20:52

I want to interact with people meaningfully

If you join a group closely linked to your interests, you will get this OP don't you see? You do have to make an effort

Emma198 · 25/03/2018 20:56

You've had loads of good suggestions but you're just putting up barriers and saying why they don't work. How do you know they don't? Doesn't sound like you really want to get out and about and meet people.

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