To think they should have contacted me? [Edited by MNHQ]

[fairgame84]

DS (13) has been in hospital this week for planned major abdominal surgery. When we got confirmation of the surgery date ex made it clear that he would not be visiting DS during the hospital stay because he's a pathetic man-child he 'doesn't like hospitals'
Anyway it transpires that ex's parents had already booked a holiday abroad this week, flying Tuesday and ex was going with them. That's fine I don't begrudge them a holiday, however they have not contacted me once to see how DS is doing.
DS surgery was Monday and exmil text me at 9am to wish DS well. I also text her as soon as DS was out of theatre. Nothing from ex until 6pm when he text to say that exmil had told him about the op (he already knew, I gave him the date last month so clearly he had forgotten). None of them have contacted me since Monday. I have a civil relationship with ex and expil and DS is their only son/grandson. I just feel a bit like they don't really give a shit. I expect this sort of disinterest from ex as he has form for it but not expil.
AIBU and a bit sensitive?

Sorry forgot to finish the title

@fairgame84

Sorry forgot to finish the title

We'll finish it for you as requested.

Hope your DS is okay.

YADNBU! I cannot believe it, they sound like selfish arseholes. Hope your DS has a speedy recovery.

Thanks Lorna.
Thanks ilikemyteahot he is doing ok just not eating much. However he has to have his food liquidised at the moment so it's not exactly appetizing.

If you are a good Parent, you don't go on holiday whilst your child is having surgery. He is a shit Dad, end of.

Your PILs have possibly adopted the stance that there's nothing they can do, so they've got on with their holiday.

Have they resigned themselves to how your ex is, or do they make excuses?

Birds the holiday was booked before we got the surgery date. Ex wouldn't have come to the hospital anyway as the doesn't like them. He is a shit Dad and everyone knows it. His Mum always has an excuse for him though. She is much better then she was in that she will now admit that some of his behaviour is inexcusable but her general stance is that he's her son so she stands by him.

I think you've got to resign yourself to him being a shit Dad and support your Son, with that. Not lie, make excuses, but let him work through his feelings.

I don't think that your PILs should have cancelled their holiday, I would have, but it doesn't sound as though they'd been any use, anyway. They should be asking how he is, daily, but people let you down.

If it weren't for the ex being on holiday I'd swear your ex was my ex.

DS had some dental surgery and ex was informed of dates and times. He is that seld absorbed he forgot! His mother then tried to make excuses and say she wrote the date down wrong but it's because ex is so selfish he took no interest and never tols her.
I wanted to rip his arms off and then bear him with them (and still do).

Yadnbu in being annoyed. Pricks.

Luckily your DS has an amazing mum, because his dad is a piece of shit when it comes to his son. The in-laws may be in a difficult position if they're with their son and they can see he's being shit, if they are usually more caring.

Hope your DS is feeling much better.

This is your selfish ex's future relationship with him by the look of it:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=B32yjbCSVpU

Bloody hell what a useless dad!
And your in laws could at least have rang to see how their grandchild was doing, whether they always back their ds or not your ds is their blood relative too, they could try and give a shit!

I’d be very hurt on behalf of your DS. Don’t make excuses for exP — DS probably has a pretty good idea of how dependable his selfish dad is. I’d tell exP DS wants a (very expensive) item to aid his convalescence and ask him to bring it back with him.
Your loving support during this difficult time will be remembered by your DS and deepen your relationship.
Hope the little chap recovers quickly

I wouldn't have expected expil to cancel the holiday but a couple of texts would have been nice. DS is not stupid and can ex for what he is. DS has already started going to ex's less and it will only be a matter of time before he stops going completely. Ex had nobody to blame but himself but no doubt he will try and blame someone else.

Oh OP and massive hugs, what a shower of shit the whole ex-family sound.

You and your DS are so much better off without them, obvs. I also wouldn't sugar coat it too much to DS, explain that some people are just inadequate and rubbish and that realising that it is something only they can change will reinforce that their lack of contact is absolutely no reflection whatsoever on him. Poor DS Hope he's is doing OK.