To think she should have been pissed off with herself rather than us?

[Tailfeather]

Just flew back from a lovely holiday with our baby.

We booked our flights 11 months ago and paid to pre-book the bassinet seats.

When we checked in online, the seat next to us was still free.

We were sat in our seats when the lady sitting next to us arrived. She looked at our baby, hissed 'oh for fuck's sake' and rolled her eyes. She tried to see if there was elsewhere to sit. There wasn't. So she returned, tutted and hurumphed a lot and sat next to me immediately turning her back to me after telling me that my baby had better not throw anything at her.

He was actually brilliant on the flight. Never cried once, slept for most of the journey and the worst thing he did to get was smile and wave at her. So he was less of a problem than a noisy older child or a chatty adult. I have spent flights next to snorers, smelly people, space invaders, people who talk too much, get too drunk - and they were all adults.

Now, I get that many people don't want to be near the baby on the aeroplane. I'm not offended by that. But if you are SO anti-children then surely she should have pre-booked her seat as far away from the bassinets as possible? She was obviously allocated this seat at the airport. So she should have been angry with herself rather than take it out on us. Or at least wait to see if he had been a pain before tutting and shooting us death stares. It was such an awkward journey!!

Same happened to me. Ds was an absolute angel so as we stood waiting to get off the plane the lady who had hugged and puffed smiled and waved at him. He waved back and I very childishly said “don’t wave at thaw nasty lady ds” while looking her straight in the eye. She wasn’t ready for that and went bright red while people around us giggled. I’d do it again too.

The not thaw!

I once had a seat across the aisle from a couple with a 6 month old in a sky cot. The passenger next to them wanted to play with and amuse herself with the baby for most of the flight, when it was clear the parents wanted the child to sleep. They asked the cabin crew to get her moved and I was asked to change with her which I did, although the baby stayed awake from then on.

Flying is mostly horrible for everyone, I think.

we have been met with some eye rolls and ‘looks’ as people sit down near us but we meet it with immediately ‘yes? do you have an issue?’ Then explain they will look rude and judgmental when he’s better behaved than most adults as usual!

So, you behave in a ridiculously aggressive manner in response to a “look”? That’s twattish.

I used to just ignore people and get on with parenting my children.

don’t wave at thaw nasty lady ds” this made me smile. Parenting is so bloody hard sometimes - more support for each other would go a long way.

I thought the same Soup. Pre-emptying people making comments is weird. Just ignore and crack on, is what most do.

I was on a flight once with three kids between the age of 5 and 9 sitting in front of us. The mother was sitting on the aisle sit. The kids didn't stop messing about, talking loudly and after 2 hours, my patience was tested. I asked the kids, in what I thought was a restrained voice, to tune it down. Suddenly, the mother who had been so removed from it all until then I hadn't realised she was travelling with them pipped up to say in a angry tone of voice 'there are only children you know'. I could have screamed at her. If you know you have children who are 'only children you know', then do sit in the middle of them, don't put the three together and then pretend they are not yours until someone express their frustration.

I don't mind children on a flight. I do mind parents who expect the passengers around to engage and share in their entertainment.

But my heart truly sinks when I see a party of hens or stags boarding.

YANBU. She was rude.

Anyone who throws me a look before we have even got going is going to get one back because I know I wont have anything to apologise for.

of course you have perfect children, we all do.
Not sure what you throwing a look at someone is going to achieve though

When DS was about 9 months we were flying back from Asia with him and a woman in her own got on and was seated next to us. DS was awake but slept most of the way in the bassinet and woke up just before landing. The woman was smiling and chatting at that stage having not really interacted with us at all during the flight. She did say that her heart had sunk when she got on and realised she was sitting beside a baby but that he had been very good. I was glad she hadn’t said anything at the beginning!

We did have one flight where DS was grumpy and was crying at take off. The people directly in front of us got themselves moved. As soon as they moved he settled down and was fine!

And my two worse flight experiences have been due to adults. Even having done a few flights with screaming babies adults can def be worse.

You should have said something to the flight attendant.

“Hello, wonder if you could help me? As a matter of interest, Would you know what to do in a situation where a passenger swore at and made threats towards a mother and her child?”

And if she asked if there was a problem, you turn to the woman and say, no, I don’t believe anyone would be so awfula as to behave like that, eh?”

I'd have wanted to respond to "I hope your Abby doesn't thieve anything at me" with "so so I - he's an amazing shot"

You're right though she should have pre booked if her enjoyment of the journey was dependent on her position in the plane.

I'm not confrontational either and would play it over afterwards. But get out your pictures and remember what a fab time you had instead.

Excuse my phones idea of what I should've have written

Would you know what to do in a situation where a passenger swore at and made threats towards a mother and her child?

Way to make a mountain about of a molehill! She didn’t say “keep your fucking child out of my fucking way ,bitch, or I’ll smack him from here to next Thursday”

Would you know what to do in a situation where a passenger swore at and made threats towards a mother and her child?”

yes, because that's exactly what happens.
Breaking news, your children are not cute and adorable for anyone else. Stop imagining that the whole world revolve around you. The OP is asking a reasonable question, you are just being one of those parents

I can't believe people get so annoyed at being seated near a baby! That must make parents feel like shit!

That must make parents feel like shit!
not really, most people understand why, and just try to keep disruptions to a minimum. Others don't care anyway, and are the ones shouting to each other from one side of the place to the others, being loud, eating smelly food, reclining their seats without consideration for others, just being a nuisance anyway.

I would probably wince if I got on a plane and realised I was stuck beside a baby, so you’d be getting yourself all in a twist at the child hating ogre. I would try not to make it obvious, but it sounds as if I don’t grin at your child, then that’s enough to constitute a nasty face. I would also stick on noise cancelling earphones and ignore you and your child, but it’s because I have very bad tinnitus and any loud noise can be agony. I think most people that pull a face don’t actually dislike children, but have had bad experiences with lazy parents and badly behaved children on flights, so think the worst. Just ignore the other passengers and be a parent to your child and hopefully everyone can be happy when they leave the plane.

This reminds me of

You see, I don’t actually think the ‘bad experiences’ are only down to lazy parents and badly behaved children. We are programmed to find the sound of babies crying really stressful. It’s awful to be on a flight / train / coach beside a screaming child, but most people are civilised enough to keep their fucking gobs shut and just get on with it. It isn’t the children’s fault and ime, most of the time it isn’t the parents’ either. Obviously, you do get shit parenting on public transport, like you do everywhere else. But generally I think most people do what they can to minimise disruption.

I think adults who can’t control themselves enough not to huff about and say, “ffs...your baby had better not throw anything at me”, out loud, are behaving just as badly as lazy parents and frankly I have limited sympathy for them. I can only guess this woman was a) a grumpy cunt or b) has had a terrible day and just lost the rag. If it’s b though, a civilised person would probably have cooled down a bit and apologised / explained after a long flight. It must have been long haul as they don’t usually provide bassinets short haul I think.

I can't believe people get so annoyed at being seated near a baby! That must make parents feel like shit!

It's not actually the job of fellow passengers to make parents feel better. They shouldn't swear or be rude, but perhaps if parents understood that they will have an impact on their neighbouring seatmates when they travel with children, then they might see things from the other perspective.

I missed a flight transfer once and got put on another flight, so no choice of seat. I was seated next to a woman and a child in her arms. As soon as I sat down, the child started pulling my hair. The mother laughed and said 'oh she just loves long hair, that's why I had to get mine cut'. I said 'could you please stop her touching my hair?' and the mother said 'oh she's just a little baby having fun, don't be a grump'. I tied my hair up and put my headphones in and tried to ignore. Child then started grabbing my headphones out of my ears. Mother thought this was hilarious 'oh she wants to watch your computer'. I put computer and headphones away and the mother huffed because child now didn't have something to watch. Mother then says 'oh I really need to use the toilet, would you mind holding her for a second?' I wanted to say no, but agreed. Child cried. Twenty minutes later I finally sent the cabin crew to find her, and she was standing in the galley having a drink, having left me with her crying child. When she reluctantly came back to her seat, she said 'gee thanks, I'm a single mother you know, I need a break sometimes.' I told her that it was not my job to babysit. I got up to go to the toilet, and came back to her changing the kids nappy on my seat! I complained to the cabin crew, but the flight was completely full (even first class, which the purser said he would have moved me to if there was even one vacant space) and told the woman off. She pouted and said 'it's not my problem she's a child hating bitch'. I ended up standing in the galley myself with the purser pouring me first class wine for the entire flight (7 hours!) as by this point the woman had put the kid to sleep on my seat and was refusing to move. She ended up in a screaming match with the cabin crew when she was told to move the child for landing so I could sit down.

MidniteScribbler what a CF that woman was. Unbelievable.

I very childishly said “don’t wave at thaw nasty lady ds”

Donthate So she’s a “nasty lady” because she doesn’t want to be near your kid, but it’s perfectly fine for you to be verbally abusive to her?

You were the nasty lady in that scenario.

perhaps if parents understood that they will have an impact on their neighbouring seatmates when they travel with children

Exactly^^. It’s almost guaranteed to be a slightly less comfortable / quiet flight if you’re seated beside an infant. As I said above, we’re programmed to find the sound of babies crying stressful. That doesn’t make anyone a child hater and it doesn’t make the parents bad parents if their baby cries and the person beside them doesn’t like it. It’s just a fact. Babies cry and sometimes there’s not a lot the parents can do about it, (not to say it’s fine not to try obviously). And the sound of babies crying is not a nice sound.

That’s why people do an inward sigh when they see they have a baby beside them on a long haul flight. But most people have enough self restraint than to not snap at the parents before they’ve even sat down, like the rude woman in the op.

The woman in that story with the hair pulling baby sounds utterly foul though. That’s a totally different kettle of fish and so, so rude! And the poor baby, being landed on a random stranger for 20mins while she fecked off. Wonder if she does that all the time. You’d think if she actually thought you were a “child hating bitch” @midnite, you’d have been the last person on whom she’d wish to dump her poor baby. She sounds a right CF. You were very restrained.