Bride 'Punching above her weight'

[BelfortGabbz]

I'm wondering if anyone has been to a wedding and heard this said in a speech or by the photographer etc.

It's OK to say a man "punches above his weight" to mean he has a better woman than he warrants. It's not OK the other way around.

End of discussion!

thenumberseven

Interesting! I also have a male friend who is Italian but lives in London. He has no male friends who are British because he says he doesn’t like the way British men act around their friends and the way they have this sort of “banter” instead of what he considers to be proper friendship.

As others have said, it is part of the best man’s banter. Good grief.

It's an old fashioned 'joke', that's not really funny. Becoming less popular these days I think.
But it's said about men, ie that the bride is so lovely, so beautiful, that he's lucky to have her.

But to say it more than once OP? Very odd.

Yeah the fact that it’s such a common “joke” doesn’t really make it any better (or funnier).

The closest example I can think of in France is that my husband has a picture of me on his desk at work and apparently one of his colleagues (Fred) always used to tease my husband, saying that the only reason I was with my husband was because I hadn’t met him (Fred) yet.

(Fred stayed overnight with us a while back and was absolutely fine. )

Actually it could be a compliment to men, from other men : ie 'you've done well for yourself, can't believe you managed to 'bag her'.

A lot of men, not all, do have this type of humour towards other men.

I’ve seen a groom say it about himself, it was part of a joke and it worked, but I thinks harsh to say it about someone else

It's totally different, culturally saying this about a bride vs a groom. The wedding day is supposed to be the day the bride feels like the most beautiful woman there, society makes women feel that their value is tied to their looks too. It would be very upsetting and unkind to suggest a bride was less physically attractive than her groom (or than anyone else on that day). On the other hand, as society places so much value and importance on female attractiveness, for a man to be told his bride is very attractive, moreso than he is, is not an insult at all, but a compliment.

It's not a case of "poor men". This is a culturally acceptable thing to say to men (but not women) because society hasn't been telling men their whole life that their worth as a person is based on their looks. Lucky bloody them.

I've heard of plenty of men being told they're 'punching', not so much the other way around, no.

Its based on the old fashioned idea that men pursue women, and he has been very successful at getting a better looking bride than would be expected. It is a compliment, but based on misogyny.

It's a bit more complex than it being okay to say to the groom and not the bride. The truth is that our society judges men and women on very different things. There was a definite element from some non-close to us people (who we were not stupid enough to invite to our small
wedding) that I was doing very well for myself in bagging my now second DH. Not based on looks like a man might get (whether truthfully or as a joke) but because I already had kids and am a couple of years older then him. Whereas women in their late 30's like he was at the time wouldn't be seen as 'marrying up' if the man was a bit older with kids.
Swings and roundabouts.

It's not acceptable to say this to a woman because you would be suggesting that she has low value as an object.

It is acceptable to say this to a man because you are congratulating him on possessing an object of such high value.

@fartniss

That’s very well worded.

Hmm, not convinced. If it was my son I'd feel a bit upset tbh.

To hear it again and again somehow stopped been a compliment and seemed aimed at his looks.

Exactly fartniss

Yes, exactly Fartniss.

Agree nice phrasing fartniss.