Inspired by the teachers and students thread below - managers, have you ever made an employee cry?

[Chocolatewafer]

“Made” probably the wrong word as pointed out by PPs on earlier thread - perhaps more accurately “has employee or team member cried during a work related interaction with you”?

I'm not the manager, I'm the employee who cried. It was during an appraisal meeting. He started by saying " I know you've had a really tough year personally, so I'd like to thank you for maintaining such a professional attitude to work" That was the point I started crying, and I just couldn't stop, so he did the entire appraisal while I say there with tears silently pouring down my face. Not my finest moment, but he was the one who brought up my difficult year.

Yes, when a member of my team didn't get the pay rise he wanted. He wanted 10% but got something like 6%. That was awkward and there was nothing else I could do for him as the budget was so tight. The rest of the team had a lower percentage anyway in order to get him that 6%.

Yes I have had employees in tears. Often because they have personal problems going on or I’ve inherited them and they’ve been struggling with the role.

Yes. When I had to talk to a 17 year old waitress about her attitude and that she couldn't tell the head chef to fuck off. He has a ferocious temper but restrained himself (unusually) due to her age, but she was adamant she didn't do it and then cried.

Yup. One of my team sent a really unprofessional email to several people- he meant well, but really misjudged his tone and said a few things that taken out of context sounded quite bad about the company. He cried when I had a disciplinary meeting with him about it. I felt awful but he needed telling!

It never needed to go any further than that one meeting fortunately, his performance improved a lot as he went on.

Yes once when I was new to the team and the person I had been brought in to manage took offence about me telling her what to do. We sorted it out I was never rude or aggressive she was just frustrated because she felt like her role was being undermined. I’ve also had an employee cry because they were getting overwhelmed with the work. That is more to do with the person being super conscientious and not liking to make mistakes. I’ve always made it clear that I don’t mind if people get stuck or can’t do things as long as they don’t hide it. I’ll always help my employees if they are struggling but I need to know about it before it gets out of hand. I also always stress that nothing is unfixable and I never want employees crying about work or getting upset because it isn’t worth it. They have tried their best and if something breaks we’ll fix it together.

I have once (that I know of). She asked for a day off to attend her boyfriend's auntie's funeral. I said 'of course, but you know it has to come out of your annual leave, unfortunately you can't have special leave'. She was really upset by this - I think she thought I was saying her boyfriend's auntie's death wasn't really that important .

It was really out of character for her - she was in her mid-20s, a lovely woman, normally very level-headed, not given to showing her emotions etc. That made it worse for me as I knew I must have handled it really badly for her to react that way!

One of my seniors made me cry, she was just awful and spoke to me shit in front of everyone.

I didn’t cry in front of her but I skulked off somewhere and did it in private. When I returned to the main working environment it was obvious I’d been crying, she asked to speak to me in private and then she apologised. She told me she hadn’t meant to upset me...yeah right. She was a typical work place bully. I couldn’t look her in the eye whilst she ‘apologised’ because I felt so angry towards her.

I have had people cry in my presence. The one time it was probably directly influenced by me was when I told someone they were going to be performance managed.

Yes, first time I demonstrated to a new member of my team (recently transferred from another area of the business) that our systems could tell just how much she was shirking and basically it needed to stop. She cried and then cried more as she told me how angry she was at getting upset. I was a new manager at the time, but was pleased with how I handled it.

I have cried during a work meeting because I wad really angry about friendships dictating the workplace. Nothing changed. Manager continued to defend their mates not pulling their weight and being bitchy fuckers. Meanwhile if any of us had perfectly reasonable issues to raise said friends were untouchable and 'had a lot on their plates'.

Been on both sides! Cried in front of one manager - tears of absolute frustration (and was VERY embarrassed that I'd let my emotions rule me - I was famous for being "unemotional"!). Have also had staff cry - couldn't handle any criticism of behaviour or attitude, or when they'd made a mistake. Also, one was very manipulative and was doing it to make me look like a bully.

I've had people I manage cry in my presence - usually because of things going on outside work. I try to provide 'tea and sympathy' and give them time to compose themselves in private.

A line manager once made me cry - not really her fault, I was stressed and something just struck a nerve. It was awful, I had to hide in the loos to get it out of my system and then spend the rest of the day pretending I was 'coming down with a cold' to explain swollen eyes .

Had one staff member cry. It was a staff meeting and she didn't get her own way about a couple of changes that had been made and everyone else agreed on. She stormed out crying.

I was about to say no, then ImNotWho mentioned the manipulative one. I had one of those, but I don't count it really as it wasn't me who made her cry - she did it herself.

Ironically she's one of only two people in thirty years of paid employment who has driven me to tears. The other was our new manager, who bought 100% into this woman's bullshit, despite having been warned by various people.

Obviously I left, and predictably a year or two later and the manipulative one is doing exactly the same to the manager. Who'd have thunk it?

I had someone cry in an interview once. She properly sobbed, and it was very awkward.

It turned out she had a colleague who'd also applied for the role, who had told her about the 'easy' interview the day before. So when her interview got tough she thought she wasn't in with a chance, despite feeling better suited than her colleague.

The frustrating thing was that after the competency based questions it's had been clear her colleague wasn't what the company was looking for, so I'd asked him a few light things to stop it being embarrassingly short, then sent him in his way. Whereas she was great and a definite contender so I took the time to ask much tougher questions and really see what she was made of.

She did get through to the final round but didn't get the job.

I was the employee and I cried when made redundant about 10 years ago. I've toughened up a lot since then, I think it was the shock.

I'm a manager and at a disciplinary I made a young employee cry when I said 'but what about you? You are important too'

He had taken too much time off as he was constantly translating for his family who all refused to learn to speak English. He was in a tough position but I told him he needed to think of himself as well and that he mattered

He cried

I've been on both sides of this. Had my staff crying when I had to bring up their performance issues. I've cried for when I felt my workload was too much, I inherited it from someone else and asked to sort it in a specific time frame which really stressed me.

Separate incident have cried when I've been picked on at work or made to feel like shit by those above me.

None of the situations were very nice

I cried when my manager asked me why i was eating 😂 (i was 8 months pregnant and very hormonal)

No and I'd be utterly mortified if I did. But I'm a complete soft touch and adore my team which is why I'll never get higher than middle management

I have sadly. A really promising emoloyee who flew off the rails. Regular lates, regular long lunches, performance falling off, passive refusal to follow instructions, increasing sickies.

Burst intobtears when the issues were raised. It was heading to a disciplinary and i was relieved she resigned.

It was really sad. She could have gone so far but got taken in by the office toxic queen. Fortunately now left.

Oh God and I've had people cry when I've declined holiday requests. We have to maintain cover. They know what others have requested. Obvs for an emergency i'd bend the rules but i have to have slack to be able to do that. I don't class a last minute invite to a festival as an emergency.

Yes. I've had to give feedback to two members of staff about their lessons that reduced them to tears.

And I've had people cry in job interviews too. One woman just went to pieces and started telling me all about her life, it was horrible.