Inspired by the teachers and students thread below - managers, have you ever made an employee cry?

[Chocolatewafer]

“Made” probably the wrong word as pointed out by PPs on earlier thread - perhaps more accurately “has employee or team member cried during a work related interaction with you”?

I cried as a supervisor when my senior manager went out of his way to belittle and bully me onto quitting.
I lasted months with staying tear free until he humiliated me in front of all my team and smirked when I tried to defend myself (a colleague hadn't finished a job and other was blamed) and I just said I can't do this anymore at which point he laughed and said that your resignation then? I cried and cried outside, he got told off when his senior management found me crying another time he let everyone go home early and made me stay on hours late.
Got quite the telling off apparently and he laid off me until restructures made my job obsolete and I moved to another department and he slotted his golden girl in who spent every day crying she couldn't handle the job.

Looking back I feel sick I allowed it to happen and didn't try and stand up for myself. Vile man and his fellow managers that saw it happen and said nothing make me feel ill.

Yes. One with gratitude I was taking an interest in helping her sort out personal things that were impinging on the professional. She had real talent so was happy to invest the time, her career shines on.

The other as just basically emotionally incontinent and used to using crying to manipulate people into her into getting her own way. She had evaded performance management for years but even though I absolutely don't enjoy being the bitch boss ( her words) do believe no-one being bothered to stand up to her and therefore not managing her has done her a massive disservice professionally.

My boss made me cry, by being too nice to me!
I sent him an email about after finding out that the woman I worked with was on the same hourly pay as me, when I did a very technical job, and she basically did admin work. Told him I wasn’t expecting him to do anything about it as I didn’t consider myself as underpaid, more that the other woman was hugely overpaid.
He came to see me, explained how it had happened, apologised that it had upset me, then offered me a pay rise. I refused, saying that wasn’t what I wanted. He insisted and I just started crying! He sat and waited it out, bless him.

In my early 20s I cried in a mock interview to stay on at a company where all my other colleagues where being made redundant. I didn’t want the job but I was so lost and depressed, I went along with the interview (and got the job). Part of the reason I cried was because my manager was telling me how proud they were of me and how brilliant they thought I was. No one had ever said those things to me before!

I cried for a whole afternoon at work recently. I'd had enough of being shouted at by people on the phone (not because of anything that was my fault). Once I started I couldn't stop. It was very embarrassing and completely out of character but just for a while they got me some extra staff in to help out.

I've cried twice at work: once when I was shatteringly tired, and someone said something to me that was vaguely critical. It was the wake up call I needed to look after myself better and not let the job wear me down. The other time was when I was getting a dressing down from a very senior manager because of something I had done with the full backing of my manager. I was really railing at the injustice of it all, but didn't say that - looking back I realise that my manager was in fact a bully (he set me up to fail on various occasions, never had my back, took credit for my successes, and literally half his management team ended up on long term sick from stress....). Again, the strong emotional reaction was a sign to me that I needed to get out of that situation

I have had employees cry on me, during appraisals when they were struggling and knew it, and because of stuff going on outside work. Tea and sympathy goes a long way

Yes. When I had to let someone go after a pretty long performance process. They’d been with the organisation for years when I inherited them so really tried - loads of training and support - but ultimately they just couldn’t see what was wrong with their work or approach.

Also had people cry because they’ve found it too stressful. It’s a pretty challenging work environment and definitely not for everyone. Not much we can do as we can’t control external events.

Oh yeah, many times. Disciplinarians, redundancies, personal shit/relationships.

Yes. I am a senior manager, managing 4 other managers who all very strong women but very different from each other. Together they make a perfect team but they wind each other up as much as they team work well. I get their tears about each other, about their difficult interactions with their staff. They cry when I thank them, they cry when I have to 'performance manage' them. They cry a lot.

But I have created a 'safe space ' in my office where they can say whatever they want, and speak freely. I have fidgety things for them to play with if they anxious and don't want to make eye contact.

Sometimes it is too much and I come home and cry myself. Other times I am happy they can ball their eyes out safely and then cranky on with the work.

Once I was working with a newish colleague (admin) who wasn’t performing well. She wasn’t taking well to the role and made a lot of mistakes, needed a lot of guidance and work checked.

One morning she was in late and a colleague asked if the laptops had been set up yet. Turns out new colleague was meant to order laptops from IT and have them set up in a meeting room for a training session. She wasn’t in, so it wasn’t done, and me and another admin colleague had to rush to IT to beg to borrow laptops (normally needed 3 days notice) and call in all favours with people. Got it sorted just in time and new colleague waltzes in with no idea the stress she had caused. I saw she had added the request to her diary so she knew it was due..

Manager was away so I spoke to her privately and explained we’d had to sort the laptops in her absence and it caused quite a lot of trouble, did she remember it was today etc?

She burst into tears saying she only remembered last minute and was too scared to come in as she didn’t know what to do, so she was late on purpose. I tried to comfort her and told her she needed to tell us if she had issues like that, not hide from them. I was pretty seething though..

She didn’t last much longer!

Yes, I've been a charge nurse for 6 months now and have had 2 junior colleagues cry on me.

The first time was when I took one to one side and told her I had noticed she kept sneaking off to meetings that didn't exist, starting her lunch break early, and leaving 45 minutes early. She burst into tears and ran into the loo.

The second time was when I took another junior colleague to one side and said I needed to chat to her about her lateness. Gave 5 specific examples of when she had been late (including that morning when she had walked onto shift 25 minutes late then attempted to make herself breakfast before I called her into my office). She denied all knowledge, I stated I could clarify with reception when she signed in/out her radio if she believed I had got the times wrong. She started screaming at me, cried hysterically then stormed out and abandoned her duties.

I have fidgety things for them to play with if they anxious and don't want to make eye contact.

I've got squishy dinosaurs on my desk

We recently had a round of redundancies and lots of people cried a lot of the time. Not just the ones who had to leave.

I manage one lady who often cries when 'people are mean'. I have sympathy, however she is a little over sensitive IMO.

Upsetting people, telling them off or telling them what to do, some of the reasons I'd never apply for a management job!

Before I had to give up work, I was really poorly and had loads of absences and my performance was very badly affected. Every single meeting with my line manager usually resulted in me crying. I was so ill and vulnerable I just couldn't help it. I was badly discriminated against; it was horrendous.

Cosmic sounds like you're the perfect manager for your team :)

my lovely boss was really upset when I burst in to tears over a really minor piece of criticism

I decided to tell her I was 8 weeks pregnant and a little emotionally unstable!

I cried one time when my new supervisor (who turned into my "work mum") told me that I shouldn't still be checking everything with her because I knew what I was doing, I was bright and I needed to be more confident in myself. I thought she'd taken me into the office for a bit of a bollocking - which I've always been able to handle - so her loveliness came as a shock.

I cried about 15 years ago when I was two weeks into a job and was shouted at by the boss in front of the entire office. Granted I had made a small mistake - but I was new.
He was known as a bully by everyone but as he owned the company there wasn’t much anyone could do about it.

I handed in my notice the next day and went to work in another similar role which was tough but fair.

I work in fairly tough corporate environments but that episode taught me to never tolerate that behaviour from a manager and equally I would never treat a member of staff like that. People make mistakes and you have to let them go that sometimes so they can learn and have the confidence to take risks when it’s right to do do.

I was a social worker. I went to talk to a woman whose teenage daughter was refusing to go home (not for the first time).

The woman was feeding her baby, who was in a bouncy chair. She started screaming abuse at me (the baby didn't even flinch, obviously used to it). I announced that I was going to leave, her (new) partner told me she didn't really mean it.

Back at the office I just broke down, and couldn't really understand why. It wasn't the worst experience I'd had. Later, I realised that my reaction was because my father always used to make excuses for my narc mother ... Luckily, my colleagues were very supportive and understanding.

Some years ago I had someone moved to my team from another where she had been crying on a daily basis, and she really flourished.

I did once have one of the manipulative criers mentioned up thread. She would cry regularly and at anything, and it caused me a lot of problems. She was sensitive to even minor negative feedback and was 'happy' to sit at her desk crying without leaving the room to compose herself. It was a shock because I had never experienced this before. I really tried everything to avoid these outbursts. Until that point (and in subsequent roles) I had always been considered a fair and supportive manager and good mentor, and although she would have cried whoever was managing her it tarnished my reputation in that company and I felt bullied and decided to leave. It was probably my worst job ever.

I inherited a team of three when I first had to line manage people. One woman was at the top clerical level, and was desperate for promotion to managerial level, applying for jobs indiscriminately, but not getting everywhere. She also had performance issues; her work was fine, but her workload was on the light side; she made a lot of personal phone calls, and never offered to help others. She would also walk in the door dead on 9 (and then spend 10 minutes faffing about), and would start packing up at 4.50. So generally not the behaviour overall that was expected of us all.

I delivered her annual appraisal (with my line manager present), which was a mix of the positive for her work output, but picking up on the personal phone calls, timekeeping and general attitude. I explained that if she was serious about promotion, she needed to do more to show that she was ready for it - and that I wanted her to progress, so the feedback was for her long term benefit.

She cried. She didn’t change her behaviour. She didn’t get promoted.

I’m terrible for crying at work/anywhere else- I really hate it but don’t really have any control over it! I’ve cried multiple times when it wasn’t the manager in question’s fault and once in front of them when it was (IMO). The time when it was was my first day back after being off sick (only for one day - long term illness so was back but still not well - had come in because we were short staffed - they knew all this) I had been in for 10 hours so far and the manager came in and asked me to work through exam study leave the next week- I politely refused as it's a) essential to study to pass your exams and they can sack you if you fail and b) against policy to ask people to. They asked again, and again I politely said no. Then again, no again, explaining why. Then over my weekends. In the end I just burst into tears in front of the entire team. It was not a good day.

I caused a young lady who I was interviewing to cry when I asked her why she had left her last job. It turned out that her brother had died a few months previously of cancer and her mum's mental health had suffered badly. With no father on the scene, she had become her mum's carer and had ended up feeling that she had to leave the job she had been in for several years because she had not been supported in any way through this. As she told me this she broke down in tears and we offered her a tissue and asked her if she wanted a few minutes alone to compose herself or wanted to go and come back and reinterview another day. But she was a determined person and she composed herself and completed the interview. We job offered her and she is still with us many years later and has continued to go from strength-to-strength in her career.

I cried many times on my manager when my DH and I were battling fertility problems. He was so lovely and understanding and caring. His utter kindness and empathy moved me to tears many times and we continue to be good friends despite him having now left the company.

I cried in my retail job during a meeting with management.

I was employed in a well known high street store for 8 hrs a week (two morning shifts), alongside this I was also trying to build up my own business and worked four evenings a week (4pm onwards) plus Saturdays.

The company I worked for, after 3 years of me doing morning shifts suddenly decided that I was to work afternoon shifts even though it clashed with my (nicely growing) dance school hours. I cried because there was no good reason for moving me onto afternoons, in the meeting they cited that it was because they wanted to 'jiggle things round' / couldn't give me a better reason, and they knew that I was a single parent, trying to juggle two jobs.
They just wanted to have control. I think it was retaliation to the fact that I couldn't cover overtime if it was a termtime Saturday which was a shift no one wanted to cover if anyone was off. They were they type of employers that pay you for 8 hours a week, but expect you to be 'on call' to cover other people's holidays and sickness leave 7am - 6pm 7 days a week in case you happen to be needed. They didn't like it if you refused overtime shifts due to other commitments (though I would try extra hard to be available to cover when needed during times when I wasn't at my other job to make up for this).
I cried about the loss of income, though I took the plunge, went totally self employed, and never looked back.