To find conversations with my dh exasperating?

[Babytigger]

Dh travels 40 minutes to his hometown for a haircut. That's fine, he's comfortable going there. I take our sons at the same time and they all get their hair cut. The haircuts are nothing special but I just go along with dh.

Me this morning to dh "the ds's need a haircut". (It's been 6 weeks and as they have longer styles it really needs doing).

Dh then spends about 10 minutes arguing with me that they had it cut 2 weeks ago, they didn't, and we eventually establish that it HAS been 6 weeks. He even checked his work diary

Dh says it's too far to go and I should just find somewhere local for the boys, as he's alright for a haircut.

I agree it would be good to find somewhere local so I text a friend, asked where she gets her sons hairs done, I have a quick google, find somewhere a 10 minutes drive away with good photos and reviews.

I tell dh, suggest we try it today or sometime, I suggested we drive past on our way out today, if they look busy maybe try again next week over the Easter holidays.

Dh then says there's no point as it's just as quick to go to his usual place, and that if you find somewhere good you might as well stick with it.

No resolution, no haircuts.

Bloody hell what a load of faff. Why dont you just take the boys yourself to the closest barbers?

Why research and ask dh to come with?

Also if he is going for a haircut at his usual place why doesnt he just take the boys?

I honestly dont even know when ds's hair gets done, dh just takes him when and wherever he goes. If its looking a bit long it just stays that way til dh next goes.

That sounds annoying
If they need a haircut then take them off yourself to the new place today; tell him that's what's happening and go. Negotiations clearly don't work with him. Is he always this exhausting?

I'm really puzzled, that wouldn't even be a conversation in our house.

I'd just take them where ever I fancied.

DH does whatever he wants with his hair.

Why are you even discussing this?

Sorry I knew I should have said, the youngest is 2 so it would be nice to have a hand getting him to sit still and so on.

No way would dh take them both on their own.

Omg. Sounds like a conversation with my ex...

Can you not drive OP?

That's a lot of fretting about a haircut.

Just take them?
I really don't understand the " I need a hand thing " just go.
Its a 5 min haircut. It really didn't need a full debate and research

Yes I can drive it's just that it would be nice to have a hand with the 2 year old.

I would quite happily take ds1 on my own it's just become a thing going to dhs place.

If I left it to dh they'd never get a haircut.

Also we are all going out somewhere shortly together so I thought we'd incorporate it into that.

Why is the resolution to OPs DH being a faffer that the Opshould take over the Task?

Of course if I have to I shall just sort both their hairs out.

It isn't only 5 minutes, and the 2 year old is guaranteed to kick up a fuss, put it this way, dh wouldn't take him alone.

She has to take over the task. If one parent won't do something then the other parent has to do it.

Sort of thing my ex did too. Just another way of dumping all boring chores on someone else.

My ex wouldn't take the kids to the dentist or optician. They can't not go so it was yet another job that fell on me alone

Another reason he is my ex I guess

This is a lot of drama about fuck all really. Just go to a barbers ffs never mind drive by's and googling they could have had it done by now.

But why wouldnt dh take him alone?

Mine is 3yo. He goes when daddy goes no negotiation. He sits on daddys lap or if he is well behaved on the next chair with a book while dh has his hair done. Then either on lap or own chair for own haircut.

He hates the strimmers and cries during that bit and dh just deals with it because je is the parent. Thats how its always been for the years he has needed his hair cut.

If your dh cant manage his own children then he ought to be ashamed.

Sounds like a) he disagrees and went to ridiculous lengths to try and prove you wrong (looking it up?!)

B) he doesn’t want to take them

C) doesn’t agree anyway with your alternative choice

Sounds like one of those who always have to be right

I don't know, our two year old is quite a handful at times.

Just a couple of points.

1. I would take both boys alone, it would be nice to have a hand but I still would. I always took ds1 alone. The only reason I mentioned it to dh is because we are all going out together soon, and they usually get it done together.

1. I only googled barbers in my area, I don't really know where our local one is as they've always gone to dhs place. Don't most people like to go to a decent place?

1. I know it's a fuss about nothing. But all I really did was suggested we get the kids hairs cut on our way out. It was dh who argued over when they'd had it done, and who is adamant that there is nowhere else in the world than his place 40 minutes away.

He wants you to do it. He doesn't want to be involved with that. He's inventing nonsense reasons because he knows that saying "You do it. I don't want to" is a CrapDad thing to say.

DOn't listen to him for a while, just watch what he does. That's what he really wants to do - exactly what he does..

And dh is like this about everything. He talks himself in circles.

He hasn't been registered with a GP for years because he talks himself out of everything.

Perhaps DH should take over getting the boys hair cut. Do you have any children’s salons near by?

Why can't you take your kids for a haircut? If having the kids hair cut was my OH's job, it'd never get done. I've been taking them on my own since they were 2 and 4. Do you never go out with your kids alone?

Why not find a local mobile hairdresser? You can book them at a time when your DP is home then he can help with the 2 year old.

I got him to take just ds1 a few months ago to a local place.

He walked out because he said he wait was too long and he didn't like the look of the barber.

Then tell DH he needs to find some where else.

Of course I go out with the kids alone. I do things alone with them all the time thanks.

I do all School/nursery runs before work, I do all Doctors/dentist, shopping with them alone. Days out school holidays, football, Cubs, swimming lessons.

I've already said of course I COULD take them alone, but we are all going out together today ANYWAY.

That would drive me mental...

I’d be tempted to give him the 2yr old and take your eldest for a hair cut. No discussions. The next free time you get take the 2 yr old on your own.

Or simply tell your dh to take them on his own. He’s their father after all. I never understand all this ‘he won’t take the kids on his own’ but you’re expected to? How does that work