To find conversations with my dh exasperating?

[Babytigger]

Dh travels 40 minutes to his hometown for a haircut. That's fine, he's comfortable going there. I take our sons at the same time and they all get their hair cut. The haircuts are nothing special but I just go along with dh.

Me this morning to dh "the ds's need a haircut". (It's been 6 weeks and as they have longer styles it really needs doing).

Dh then spends about 10 minutes arguing with me that they had it cut 2 weeks ago, they didn't, and we eventually establish that it HAS been 6 weeks. He even checked his work diary

Dh says it's too far to go and I should just find somewhere local for the boys, as he's alright for a haircut.

I agree it would be good to find somewhere local so I text a friend, asked where she gets her sons hairs done, I have a quick google, find somewhere a 10 minutes drive away with good photos and reviews.

I tell dh, suggest we try it today or sometime, I suggested we drive past on our way out today, if they look busy maybe try again next week over the Easter holidays.

Dh then says there's no point as it's just as quick to go to his usual place, and that if you find somewhere good you might as well stick with it.

No resolution, no haircuts.

Oh fgs is this one of those threads where everyone jumps on the OP for no reason whatsoever?

Yes I would find that annoying too. He says you should find somewhere local as it would be easier, so you do just that and he now says there's no point changing.

And of course i can see that it makes life easier if you've got two adults. It would be easy for one adult to go if you could make an appointment and minimise the amount of time youre waiting and trying to occupy a bored 2 yo.

Let their hair grow.

Do not engage with this.

Decide yourself it's your DH's job to do it.

I feel your pain.
My husband is similar - a simple task to me ends up being a big rant and rave session and nothing gets done.
He’s not interested in having a conversation or discussion about it just ranting.
Draining!!!

My DH is equally exasperating! He asked me to find a cheaper electricity supplier, so i googled away. When i presented my findings, he then argued that he was sure there were cheaper alternatives (but didn't google anything himself). Everything was then ignored for a month, when again, he asked me to find a cheaper supplier. I used to jump through these hoops endlessly and repetitively. Now i just tell him,i've done that once, you need to find something better yourself....

Leave a note on the fridge ‘ds needs a haircut’ and leave your husband handle it. That’s the only solution unless you want to take them somewhere yourself.
Your husband does not communicate the same way you do, he is not suddenly going to say ‘yes of course, that makes sense, let me lighten your load’ because he finds your way of communicating stressful and probably doesn’t fully understand the problem.
Find a way that works and use that, he is not going to change so try different methods of communication. First try writing it and sticking it on the fridge. Then move on to something else.

Your husband doesn't need a haircut so doesn't see the point in driving 40 minutes away to his normal hairdresser just for the kids to get their hair cut.
He also thinks there's no point taking them to a local hairdresser because he can't be bothered to do something for someone else that doesn't benefit him.
About 96% of the men I've met in my whole life are just as selfish!

If you're going out soon, why don't you drive and just stop at the hairdressers? Whichever one you fancy. DH can't talk you round in circles if you're already there. Not a long term solution but would work for today!

Your first sentence was dcs need a haircut. That is too indirect. Say l need you to take dcs for a haircut today. Men usually need a direct statement. It would drive me mad that he questioned you on when they had their last one going so far as to check his diary..so annoying.
Whatever you do..even if their hair is down their back ..don't take them as at least that is one job he has always done. As they get older he can bring them for hot chocolate afterwards and it can become a little outing.

What about where you go? (Although I'm guessing you've already thought of that).

I do understand wanting some help. My DS is also 2 and despite sitting in the car shaped chair with an iPad he still wriggles around a lot.

I would go somewhere that has appointments, so very little waiting. And then just book the appointment for a weekend when you and DH are both free and say "we're taking DS for their haircuts at X at X time. It's all booked" Leave no room for negotiation.

My DH isn't as bad as yours sounds, but he does dilly dally about things and go round in circles. The best solution I found was to take matters into my own hands. Once it was getting a tradesman to do something, DH really wanted to sort out himself because he had a lot of questions - which I didn't know about. I sorted it but didn't ask the questions, so DH had to ring them up sharpish. I now remind him of this incident and tell him if it's something he wants a say in then he needs to sort it, otherwise I'll do it.

YANBU, OP. Does DH take any responsibility for the kids?

People telling you to just take the kids yourself are missing the point.

He sounds more of a pain than your 2 year old why do you put up with his faffery he walked out of a barbers because the wait was too long 😕 he either wants to be an active parent or he doesn't it sounds like he doesn't and this faffery is just his way of telling you to do it all