To feel deflated and pissed off

[Sophisticatedsarcasm]

I have worked since I was 17, my DP since he was 13, we’ve got 2 kids that weren’t planned for but we love them regardless, we currently live with my mum and family because we can’t afford a place of our own but we earn too much for any help. I see many of the mums at the school and listen to people who brag about it that have never worked and they get everything. Housing benefit, tax credits, income support. I just feel like We are working our ass off why some people couldn’t care less about even lifting a finger. We try to save but something comes up and it’s another setback. I love to work, I need it, but I’m starting to feel maybe I’ll declare my self single and jobless and I’ll get every benefit under the sun. Maybe I shouldn’t have had kids not being financially secure, but they are here and I wouldn’t change them for the world.
I see people conning the system and I just get enraged.

I don’t think there is any argument that the key is a social housing tenancy- paying £450 a month rent is clearly going to make anyone better off than paying £1k. 2 people in very similar circumstances could have very different life styles thanks to social housing. Obviously you’re unlikely to get it.

In fact why aren’t you claiming housing benefit to help you rent privately?

Why can't you afford a place of your own if you work?

I'm a lone parent, I work 30 hours a week, I get UC and pay £650 rent a month and £125 council tax, plus utilities. I'm also not a high earner.

I have a fairly nice home, but I'm skint. I try to focus on what I've got, not what I haven't got!

If you're not in your own property but don't have enough money to live on, then you need to retrain and get a better job!
All very well working your a$$ off. But if you're getting paid rubbish wages, then nothing will ever change.
When you say you 'earn too much'. By how much?

Have you not heard of the idea of 'making the best of th8ngs'? Nevercome across the idea that people might just be pretending to people they don't know too well that they're having a good time when actually they are really stressed and miserable?

Are you going to tell the schoolgate mums what a hard time you're having and how awful it is to be squashed into one room at your mum's? Do you tell relative strangers how shit you fell that you can't provide properly for your children? No?

You have no idea whether the people you're talking about are really having a fab time on benefits or not, you just see the image they try to project, and you've swallowed it hook line and sinker.

I still don't understand where your money is going. Between you and DP, you're earning nearly 30k a year, and living with your mum. It can't all be going on travel costs, and you haven't explained what all these things that come up, that deplete your savings, are. You should be able to save a decent amount while you're living with your mum, you won't be able to do it once you move out.

Are you on the social housing lists. with the council and housing associations? Have you used the calculator on entitled2, to work out how much housing benefit and tax credits you'd be entitled to claim if you moved out?

You can't live with your mum forever, so what are you going to do about it?

And if you know people are claiming fraudulently, shop them. There's a number you can ring to do that. If you're not willing to do that, then stop complaining about it, because you will be condoning it.

Your attitude is the same as those scroungers wanting something for nothing.

You 'need' a 3 bed, but you clearly don't need it as you are currently squashed into one bedroom.

You can only work school hours, but actually you could work ft.

You just want stuff you can't afford and would rather live in your poor mum's place than compromise.

That's the choice you have made. You, you have made that choice.

In fairness to the op working full time is easier said than done if you have a child who has Autism. Simply because there's no childcare provision, a lot of places insist on 1/1 care. School hour jobs are an absolute godsend but pretty much always part time sadly.

I had the pleasure of helping my sister do her finances once and the horror of realising she actually had more money than me coming in every month despite the fact that I have a so called professional well paid job. So she gets the same as me for doing nothing and I work my arse off to have the pleasure of paying taxes so she can.

Honestly, if you earn too much for help and are living with family why can't you save? How can't you afford to live elsewhere?

OP I still don’t understand why you’ve mentioned twice that your DP had a job as a teenager, presumably part time, I just don’t see why that’s relevant

Anyway, how much rent/bills are you paying your mum and what are your other outgoings? List them out, because I can’t see why you’ve got no money to rent - like others have said a two bed place would be better than your current situation

Are you looking at flats as well as houses?

Some people then opt to have a sofa bed in the living room as a third bed, not ideal but still better than living cramped in one room

You do realise that just because those people have a "cushty" two bedroom house and only pay £100 of their rent, it doesn't mean they're playing the system? You have to have a reason for being on housing benefit, the same goes for all other benefits. Maybe just because they look okay and can work part time, doesn't mean they don't have a physical disability or a mental one. They would have had to provide financial evidence to claim housing benefit, so to be honest if they receive it then they rightly deserve it.

Most people start work in their teens, it's not a special thing. I started - and most of my peers did too - when I was 14. Saturday jobs were highly sought after. My dh started when he was 9 or 10 doing a paper round (not so highly sought after!, very early mornings, lots of cycling in the dark).

You have chosen the way that you live. In your mother's spare room, with two children, working pt so that you don't pay for childcare. That's your choice.

You could work longer hours, use a childminder or school clubs etc and move to a two bed house or flat with or without garden depending upon what you can afford.

You can't afford to live the life you want to right now but it's no one's fault and you're the only one who can change it. So change it instead of moaning about the image other people present to you and whinging on the internet.

My DP started work aged 13 as a weekend assistant at a hotel kitchen.

What, precisely does that have to do with anything?

Everyone I know had a part time job as a teenager-I really don’t know why you keep mentioning it.

If you currently all live in a room at your mum’s house, you really don’t ‘need’ a 3-bed house in the south-east, do you?!

You need to work more than 8 hours a week and you need to cut the apron strings and leave your mum!

I see you have had two unplanned children already-probably stating the obvious here, but I presume you now have your contraception sorted?!

Sorry if this comes across as harsh, but I can’t help but think you could do a lot more to help your own situation than moaning about other people who you deem have things easier than you.

Don't think people realise how uneducated they sound when they echo the the usual "you're better off on benefits" ,as well as "the immigrants coming over and stealing our jobs "etc. I always say ,if that's the case why don't you claim them yourself? You could both quit your job and live the life of riley. You're certainly not better off on benefits, I've seen it for myself ,and I've NEVER heard anyone bragging about how much they get to sit on their ass ... For it to happen to you numerous times is strange.

People also need to take into account the security , confidence ,experience etc...that comes from working. Not just the money.

Honestly, you have two unplanned children and live with your mum while working part time. What about those who can't stay with a parent? What makes you better than the people you look down on?

Don't think people realise how uneducated they sound when they echo the the usual "you're better off on benefits" ,as well as "the immigrants coming over and stealing our jobs "etc. I always say ,if that's the case why don't you claim them yourself? You could both quit your job and live the life of riley. You're certainly not better off on benefits, I've seen it for myself ,and I've NEVER heard anyone bragging about how much they get to sit on their ass

In general I'd agree, but it not always true. Right now, I am better off on "benefits" than I am working. I wish it wasn't true but it is. Temporary for me, I'll be back at work next year, but for now I would be worse off working and not claiming. Sad but true.
Wouldn't ever brag about it though, not something I'm terribly proud of.

You think the people on benefits are livinng the high life? I don’t know where you are meeting these people but i’ve not come across anyone on benefits that live like that.

I work with people in receipt of benefits and let me tell you, i wouldn’t wish that life on anyone! Spoken to like dirt, summoned to appointments and only finding out about the appointment the day after when they have missed it, getting sanctioned for said missed appointment, having to justify everything they do or where their money goes, having to resort to food banks to feed their kids, being evicted due to UC taking so long and landlords (yes even LAs) getting sick of waiting for their rent, having to live in a private rented hovel because they couldn’t get anywhere else because no landlord wants a tenant in receipt of UC, having to jump through hoops to keep the disability benefit they are entitled to, being told they are fit for work when even i can see they are not and i’m not medically trained... yeah its a whole barrel of laughs for people, i’m sure deep down they are loving it and not really suicidal.

@redlocks28
I mentioned my dps job twice, the second time was because another poster asked about it, I work more than 8 hours a week, I’m not sure where you got that from as I never mentioned my hours beforehand 😊 yes I had unplanned children and know exactly what contraception is, it just failed us twice. But I have two amazing children out of it so it’s all good.

And for the posters saying they haven’t come across people that brag, lucky you because I’d rather they didn’t because as you can tell it pisses me off. It is actually rife in london where I used to live.
I would never quit my job just go on benefits I was merely making a point that as some people seem to be ‘living the high life’ on benefits as they claim I’d might be better off. I literally can’t stand not to work. I understand that for whatever reason people may have lost thier jobs or resorted to benefits. But I was solely talking about people that have absolutley no intention to work @nd those that have kids just for the benefits and they are out there, many actually there’s even been some documentary’s about exactly that.

If your partner works days, can you work nights so that child care is covered ? You are very fortunate to have family to help you have somewhere to live. Where is all your money going if you are not paying rent ? Why can't you work full time ?