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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Feel so old

64 replies

Farmerswife36 · 23/03/2018 22:50

Is 36 old . I have 4 kids and had them all from age 18 - 32 and suddenly it's hit me . Now I have my youngest starting school in September , that I'm old ! I feel so old and have never thought about it before but somehow 36 feels so old ?? When did you suddenly realise that you were no longer a spring chicken ??

OP posts:

bridgetreilly · 24/03/2018 00:05

Botox won't make you any younger. Literally nothing will make you any younger.

If you feel old at 36, it's the inside of your head that needs to change, not the outside of your face.

MirriVan · 24/03/2018 00:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rachie1973 · 24/03/2018 00:15

Farmerswife36
Is 36 old . I have 4 kids and had them all from age 18 - 32 and suddenly it's hit me . Now I have my youngest starting school in September , that I'm old ! I feel so old and have never thought about it before but somehow 36 feels so old ?? When did you suddenly realise that you were no longer a spring chicken ??

When my youngest left primary!

She's leaving secondary this year! I'm 45, I have 6 kids (2 are step but I raised them) ranging from 30 down to 16. I also have 4 grandchildren, but that moment when the last one left primary cut deep

adayatthebeach · 24/03/2018 00:15

Don’t let it get you down. I remember being in a club restroom 20 years old married seeing the younger girls come in and it made me feel old and past it. It’s all in your head.

Charolais · 24/03/2018 00:16

I was about 55 when I no longer felt like a spring chicken and that was only because I lost my health. I’d still be a spring chicken now in my mid-60’s if it wasn’t for that.

Lalliella · 24/03/2018 00:17

Have this:

stopgap · 24/03/2018 00:17

I’m almost 41, and feel young and vital. I listen to new bands, keep up with literature, dress well, make a point of doing lots of yoga and weights, eat mostly organic, and take good care of my skin. I honestly look better than in my mid thirties when I had a newborn.

TheJoyOfSox · 24/03/2018 00:21

Hell no! I’ve had 4 children, I have 10 gc, I’m 55 and I’m still young!

Although now the dc are grown up and left home I do feel younger than I did in my 30s when I had full time job, house to run, young family etc, it was knackering.

Birdsgottafly · 24/03/2018 00:22

I started to feel getting older around 45.

To add to Prestonsflowers' list, value your pelvic floor, your skin/hair and the fact that you can still enjoy a good relationship with alcohol.

Seriously, though, enjoy and make the most of your 30's and 40's.

I had my children by the age of 31. I studied as a mature student and I've now decided to end that Career and start a less stressful job. I'm exited at the prospect of my time being my own. I'm doing hobbies that I've never had time for. At 50, i'm going to start seriously weight training.

Just find a new passion, you've got more time ahead than you have lived and it's your time and it can be all about you.

tryingforsibling · 24/03/2018 00:24

I am new here. Sorry to jump in this conversation. Age is only a number. I recently turned 50. I don't feel old. Most of my days spend running around after my 3 year old toddler DS.

StayPositiveOk · 24/03/2018 00:24

I don't want to get old and ugly. Don't want my partner/lover looking at 20 year olds because he can't stand my old ugly self.

ViceAdmiralAmilynHoldo · 24/03/2018 00:25

Don't be ridiculous.

You aren't old at 36 unless you are suffering from premature boring fartitis.

I'm in my early fifties. I don't think I'm old, look old and nor have I even contemplated botox.

Just enjoy your life!

Sarsparella · 24/03/2018 00:35

Age is in your mind imo, I feel better in a lot of ways now at 40 than I did at 30, I certainly don’t feel old or miserable about my age because it doesn’t define me as a person :)

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 24/03/2018 00:36

These feeling old threads crop up quite frequently, feeling old to me would be difficulty with mobility, hearing and vision not so good, considering fitting a stannah stairlift as struggling with the stairs, bathroom aids to help me in and out the bath, things like that, that is the daily struggle some people in their old age have to put up with and on top of that society not valuing them at all, which is probably worse than the physical aspects and of course the loneliness and isolation many suffer from. I know this is not how old age is for all but it is for many. You are in your absolute prime OP don’t waste it worrying about the odd wrinkle.

eridanus · 24/03/2018 00:40

Great timing OP - it hit me this morning. I am 40. I was cleaning my kids room, the one room in the house with excellent daytime lighting - windows and overhead windows and I saw myself in my kids mirror and was shellshocked. I asked my mam what day did you wake up and look in the mirror and see the change and she said 36. To be honest I did see a change at 36, but jesus christ nothing like looking at 40.

I have never completely lost baby weight after 3. I have about 40 pounds to lose. The weight goes on all over evenly so I don't feel enormous but it never goes on my face or chin, so I look like an inverse lollipop. And now I am in a panic. If I achieve my goal of losing the 40 pounds (and I have to be someone's bridesmaid - complete other story) but I have to fit a dress - I will look like the most haggard 40 year old in existence.My mam keeps telling me 40 is not old, I look young etc, but it's like a vortex that pulls you down. However I am loving some of the responses on here eg. Prestonsflowers, KeepServingTheDrinks, bridgetreilly

I thought about all those things eg. botox, but usually it makes people look worse - and so, I completely understand where you are coming from. 36 is still fresh and from all your reponses garnered, it is the attitude that makes you old. I am taking that anyway from this thread

pigsDOfly · 24/03/2018 00:52

I had my second (middle) child when I was 36 and I certainly didn't feel old. If your health is good and your DC are no longer babies you should be feeling great at that age, I know I did.

At 69 I'm not far off twice your age OP. I'm lucky, I'm healthy and active and still don't really feel 'old' as such.

As pp said, it's all about how you feel in your head. Don't waste your life worrying about getting old. It'll happen one day, but that day's a long way away. Make the most of your life and enjoy it.

Freetodowhatiwant · 24/03/2018 01:10

I think it’s all relative. At 36 I was in the best shape of my life and feeling (physically anyway) and looking better than ever! Having kids has aged me as well as now being 43 so actually physically ageing. But at 36 I was child-free and all I was thinking about was the gym, eating low carb and partying and travelling!

vodkaredbullgirl · 24/03/2018 01:43

fuck me im nearly 49 and you think you're old

Microwavey · 24/03/2018 01:54

I'm 40 and don't feel old, but I have 2 dc rather than 4 (so less child-related and work/stress in my life), work in a city abroad (meaning I'm surrounded by action and events, and go out a lot after work/with dh/with friends despite having dc... And get out of town every few months for seaside breaks) and didn't have a child until I was 32, second at 36, so think that affects my perspective. If I had dc younger (so therefore they were older, affecting my perspective on my stage of life), had more dc (having 2 makes life hectic enough) or didn't live in the middle of the city action/near the beach, I think I'd feel older. I have a few grey hairs and wrinkles but don't think about them much as I am reasonably fit, get hair done regularly and basically feel good about myself. I just feel like myself - mentally feel around 30 and physically feel my age.

80sMum · 24/03/2018 01:55

Get over yourself, OP! Yes, at 36 you are no longer a youngster but you are by no stretch of the imagination "old" either (unless being assessed by a 5 year old, who deems anyone over 12 to be old!!).

If you assume that the average female lifespan is, say, 85 then you are still less than halfway there. You can't consider yourself "old" until at least 7/8 of the expected span has passed, so not until you are about 75. You have your entire life to live all over again, plus a few years more, before you are "old"!

Calm down and enjoy your youth, while you still have it! Yes, you are older now than you have ever been, but also younger today than you will ever be again.

Just live your life - and don't waste a moment more of it worrying about something that you cannot change. Just be.

GameChanger01 · 24/03/2018 02:38

I think having kids ages you for the most part but 36 is not old at all when you work in NHS

PerfectlyDone · 24/03/2018 06:56

OMG, I am being kept going by the thought that having children keeps you young!
Am I deluded? probably

SilverySurfer · 24/03/2018 07:40

I'm twice your age and of course 36 isn't old.

TinDogTavern · 24/03/2018 07:46

I’m 49 and I started to feel old a couple of years ago when the perimenopause started. 36 is nothing. Please don’t start injecting poison into your face, at any age.

Mummadeeze · 24/03/2018 07:47

You are not old! My parents are in their 70s and they don't even seem very old to me. I am 44 and don't really feel old at all! Maybe work on pampering yourself and giving yourself a new look if it is a physical thing? Travel or try new things. Make the effort to meet some young at heart friends. Do some things you have always wanted to try but not got round to. Take up a new hobby. Break your normal routine. Exercise more. These kinds of things keep you feeling young.

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