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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Reasons why curtains should be opened ...

216 replies

crimboAkimbo · 23/03/2018 14:09

I've been trying for several years to train my teen to open his bedroom curtains in the mornings. It's not a huge issue, but I don't think it's an unreasonable thing to aspire to is it?

Thing is, his bedroom is at the back of the house and he doesn't go in it much between getting dressed in the morning and getting undressed at the end of the day. So, being in possession of a hyper-logical teenage brain, he just doesn't see the point.

Whenever this comes up (regularly) I have to go round the "but why?" loop, so I trot out the same old arguments - it's the respectable thing to do, it's good training for the future when you're living with other people, it's simple and I've asked you to do it so why not, it's my house and my rules, no play-station till they're open, etc etc. However, clearly none of these arguments are clinching enough to drive a permanent change of habit.

Any advice? (I know I will get "stop worrying about it and give him a break" but I'm hoping for some more positive steers too).

OP posts:
NFATR · 23/03/2018 14:50

On his rationale - why does he bother taking his school uniform off at night and putting pyjamas on? He's only going to have to put it back on again the next day so he'd be better off sleeping in it

That isn't even slightly comparable. Curtains don't get sweaty and smelly and crumpled when you don't open them during the day Hmm

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/03/2018 14:51

Respectable?!

You're only one step away from "What will the neighbours think?" with that one!

He is a teenager so you have two issues. The first being that he doesnt think its important. The second is that even if you do extract a promise to open them, he will forget. Genuinely. He wont agree and then not do it just to wind you up, he will forget because he has more important things to remember (to him, anyway). And then he'll wonder why you are creating such a fuss when he just forgot, you'll have a row, he will feel picked on and you will feel frustrated. Mother/son relations will be strained.

As the veteran of 4 teens I can tell you that some battles are just not worth having. Save your energy for the serious stuff or you run the very real risk of anything you say becoming back ground noise to him "Oh its just mum going on......again" so he never listens to you, whether its about curtains or drugs.

Just open the curtains yourself.

Tattybogle89 · 23/03/2018 14:55

I have a neighbour who has never opened her curtains in 4 years.. must be horrible living in artificial light. I have always wondered why. Her curtains have gone all yellow in the backs . Shudder

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 23/03/2018 14:55

Ok shoot me but the curtains to all the windows that face the street are shut all the time, we never open them. The houses opposite face directly in and I can't be bothered to worry about them seeing me naked (which I am mainly am when I am upstairs as I only go up there to sleep, change or shower.

CurlsandCurves · 23/03/2018 14:57

OP I would just let it go and open them yourself.

He’s a teenager, he knows he should open the curtains, he just can’t be arsed, much like my own almost teenager! Pick your battles. I’m currently working on flush the toilet and turn the light off when you leave the room...

Doobigetta · 23/03/2018 14:58

"The curtains will be opened by one of us every day. It's up to you which one of us that is"

yorkshireyummymummy · 23/03/2018 14:58

Jesus. Are people really so lazy that they don’t even bother opening curtains anymore?? Flame me all you like but unless you are a shift worker / somebody has died/ other unusual circumstances then not opening them is slovenly and lazy. How can you clean properly with the curtains shut? Even with lights on it doesn’t show up what natural light does. Opening your curtains and letting the light in kills bacteria in the room and means you can open your windows. It also prevents condensation and damp. I have been ina house where the curtains were never opened and there was a smell plus dampnessin the house. I don’t know ANYBODY who doesn’t open their curtains. Makes my skin crawl.
And obviously, pulling blinds down somewhat during the day to prevent sun damage is a completely different thing to not bothering to open curtains.

OP- if he doesn’t do as you say then take the curtains down! Your house, your rules.

Sparklingbrook · 23/03/2018 14:59

I love having the curtains open and letting the light in plus opening the windows. If you aren't going to open the curtains you could just brick the window up and have done with it. Grin
But my two teens are in charge of their own curtains. I know DS1 never opens his at Uni because he's on the ground floor with people walking past.

nemno · 23/03/2018 15:00

Curtains closed impedes airflow in the room. Next to the window is likely to be the hottest or coldest part of the room so air would be forced to move if the curtains were open. My curtains have been known to get mouldy on the window side if the moisture-laden air(from condensation on the glass) is trapped window-side.

Ladydepp · 23/03/2018 15:02

I think leaving curtains closed in the main rooms all the time is weird, gloomy and possibly unhygienic. I have a friend who does it and I just don't get it...

BUT in just one room in the house is probably not worth the battle. I draw the curtains in my teen's room every weekday morning as that helps wake him up but at the weekend I ask him to do it when he makes his bed (!), but I've decided not to get too enraged if he doesn't. If I go to that part of the house and it's a bit dark I open his curtains.

It is annoying when they don't do what you have asked but maybe let this one go and choose a new battle (putting dishes in the dishwasher is my current one)

PickleFish · 23/03/2018 15:03

I open the blinds in my main room, but not in my bedroom - it is right on a busy street, and it feels odd having everyone look in to my bedroom, even though I'm not in there during the day. The windows are full length along the wall, so you would look in and see the entire room. (It was not my choice to have this, just how it came!). I don't know why it feels weird, but it just does.

Also the blind pulls are a little hard to reach behind the wardrobe.

So they haven't been opened in months. There is a sort of air ventilation system that brings in some fresh air, and I do open the door/windows in the other room. So I hope mould and bacteria aren't going to be a problem!

I kind of understand his point. I never opened the curtains in my old house either, upstairs, as I was never in there. and the light just makes furnishings and artwork and wood and stuff fade.

BuzzyBuzzyBea · 23/03/2018 15:03

If I'm honest we have blinds and curtains, the blinds at the back are opened but the ones at the front aren't. I don't think it's a big deal, unless he has a stinky teenage room that needs windows open for airing.

Others have come up with condensation and mould as reasons, but personally it's never been an issue.

Have you considered that your teen might be sensitive to light, so enjoys having the curtains closed?

They're you're rules, but it's his room, his space, so if he wants his curtains closed is it a big deal?

EatTheChocolateTeapot · 23/03/2018 15:04

UV from sunlight help to reduce mold and germs.

Ladydepp · 23/03/2018 15:05

Curls - toilet flushing and lights - WHY so difficult for them to do?? I have threatened charging 50p every time light left on but haven't followed through yet as my dc's all blame each other. Maybe I charge them all 50p??

picklemepopcorn · 23/03/2018 15:09

Moths and dust. Regularly moving the curtains disturbs both! Also airflow, curtains prevent droughts but therefore reduce airflow.

Witchend · 23/03/2018 15:09

Definitely agree about the mould thing. There is mould in our bedroom. It's between the window and the curtain. How do you explain that?

MsHarry · 23/03/2018 15:11

I don't know anyone who faffs around every day opening and closing all of their curtains
I do and from what I see my neighbours do too. not really a fan of using lights all day to see what I'm doing and I like to see out!

Eliza9917 · 23/03/2018 15:13

I was brought up in the 80's and got the general impression that only hussy's have closed curtains during the day Grin

I never open or shut any curtains, the front room ones are cream and very light so enough light comes in and we stopped opening them when the dogs were disturbed by people going past and would bark. We don't have bedroom curtains.

When we redec I want to get nice wooden shutters on all the windows.

MsHarry · 23/03/2018 15:14

If I see a house with curtains closed in the day I think they must be:
1/ Sick
2/ Night shift
3/enjoying some afternoon delight.
4/Away(telling burglars too!

picklemepopcorn · 23/03/2018 15:14

UVA gets through glass, and kills microbes. Also dries the air so making it hostile to microbes.

picklemepopcorn · 23/03/2018 15:15

Witchend, is it trapped between curtains and the window? Because the air doesn't move and dry out?

BitOutOfPractice · 23/03/2018 15:15

Anyway, if you have the curtains closed you might have to turn on the Big Light. I loathe the Big Light

MsHarry · 23/03/2018 15:17

Oh me too. The BIG light is just awful. I want to go into those houses with a couple of table lamps and show them what a difference soft lighting makes.Grin

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 23/03/2018 15:17

Wow. Mumsnet usually makes me feel like a slattern because I don't bleach every surface often enough. But even I would find it grotty and unpleasant to have curtains and windows left closed all the time.

And in a teenage boy's bedroom! So manky.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 23/03/2018 15:17

Because DH usually does it first, when he doesn't, I forget. We only have curtains in our room.

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