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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU leaving his clothes in the dryer!

31 replies

Pho2Mum · 23/03/2018 12:30

So I am feeling pretty pissed and frustrated. Everytime my STBEH or so I wish, leaves his clothes in the dryer or his dirty dishes for me to wash up. Bear in mind, he contributes nothing to the household moneywise nor does he participate in housekeeping. We have my ds together. I've had enough of being his slave. So this morning, I asked him to take his clothes out of the dryer so I can wash my ds clothes and he goes 'It's my dryer. I bought it and I'll leave my clothes inthere if I want to.' He carries on I did not clean this and that. I said 'just take your clothes out of the dryer!'. When I got back home, his clothes are still in the dryer. I'm peed off! Aibu? Because if I will ask again about it when he gets back from work, he will kick off. Should I bring the subject up again or drop it?

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 23/03/2018 12:33

Dump the clothes on the floor and use the dryer.

What do you mean he will kick off if you bring it up again? Is he violent towards you?

Idontdowindows · 23/03/2018 12:40

If it is his dryer, put it outside and buy your own? That he can then not use?

Failing that, does he have any redeeming qualities at all?

Inseoir · 23/03/2018 12:43

Drop it and try to detach - he is clearly a horrible shithead so there's no point in engaging with him at all, just pretend as much as possible that he's not there and work around him. That'll have more impact than playing his silly games with him.

lynmilne65 · 23/03/2018 12:46

idontdowindows
excellent plan Grin

Original poster
Pho2Mum · 23/03/2018 13:04

He gets aggressive and in my face. As I was walking out through the door with my ds, he was still shouting 'this is my house...' It's not. It's an HA flat. We had a period where I worked around him. I just do the wash up and I don't ask him money for the bills, clean after him and he would stay out most times and only come in for quick showers or sleeping. From this weekend, he's doing silly things IMO to provoke me like moving stuffs around in the kitchen cupboards or come into my ds bedroom when he knows I'm getting changed. He's in the house more.

OP posts:
Eliza9917 · 23/03/2018 13:05

Leave his clothes in there then find 5 loads of washing to do.

Maybe your toddler will end up with some new clothes Grin

Aprilmightmemynewname · 23/03/2018 13:05

Get your self some head phones and sing all day!!

Allthewaves · 23/03/2018 13:29

Tale clothes out and dump in a pile

Idontdowindows · 23/03/2018 17:39

He gets aggressive and in my face.

So, does he have any redeeming qualities?

Neverender · 23/03/2018 17:47

I'd shove them in a carrier bag and leave them on his bed

mummyrabbitpeppapig · 23/03/2018 18:02

I'd LTB..........

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 23/03/2018 18:05

So.... why are you with him still?

GummyGoddess · 23/03/2018 18:07

She isn't still with him, she said they're splitting up.

GummyGoddess · 23/03/2018 18:09

My mistake, I missed the "I wish" bit.

Chickenagain · 23/03/2018 18:11

Call the police next time he behaves so aggressively to you and get the HA involved to get him somewhere else to live the useless twat!

CatLadyToddlerMother · 23/03/2018 18:11

Pho2Mum I saw your comment on my thread, I really hope you get the help you need to get out soon, this is awful Sad.

Original poster
Pho2Mum · 23/03/2018 20:42

So I dumped his clothes on the floor and put my ds clothes to dry. When he got back from work, he picked up his clothes and said ' you want to be like that, I'll get all your stuffs off my shelf'. He went to the bedroom and took all stuffs and dashed them on the floor. He came into my face and started shouting at me. I called the police. They write it off a verbal argument. Now I have till end of April to find another place. He gets to keep the 2 bedroom flat. I lost. My son started crying 'I don't want to leave my home'. The police asked him to go out till he calmed down. My ds and I are now homeless. I'm so scared I can't protect my ds. He's autistic. It's going to be very hard on him. We got this place when my son turned 2. How can he claim it's his?? He finds it ok to uproot his own son. I'm so lost.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pho2Mum · 23/03/2018 20:44

No redeeming qualities.

What's LTB?

OP posts:
yerbutnobut · 23/03/2018 21:37

ppfff...sod that! where the hell do people on MN find these men? If you have to start a thread about it I think you know the answer.

jaimelannistersgoldenhand · 23/03/2018 21:45

LTB = Leave The Bastard

Chickenagain · 24/03/2018 09:31

How does he get to keep the flat?

Ask to see the Domestic Violence Unit at the police station. Tell them about the previous incidents. Get it all noted down.

Speak to HA - did he have the flat before you were together or is it a joint tenancy?

Speak to Shelter & Womans Aid.

Thanks
Original poster
Pho2Mum · 25/03/2018 00:02

We moved in as a family when my ds was 2 but somehow the HA put the tenancy only in his name. Now he's like 'its my property'. The intimidation continues. He threw the flowers my son gave me for mothers day which he bought on the kitchen floor, take off lamp shades coz I bought it, still throwing my stuffs around coz they are in his way. Petty, petty!! My ds is quite upset, he's being sobbing.
Just didn't know men like that exist!

OP posts:
ChickenMom · 25/03/2018 06:34

Call the HA first thing on Monday and speak to them about this.

SD1978 · 25/03/2018 07:00

I’d call the HA. If he hasn’t put you on there as another form of control but you e always lived there, there may be something that they can do. Do you have anyone else you could stay with?

purplelila2 · 25/03/2018 07:28

Can you not leave asap and stay with family?