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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you leave your toddler to shower?

95 replies

GreenVoyage · 23/03/2018 08:48

I'm not working until later and need a shower beforehand. DD is 20 months and not in nursery until I drop her off at lunch time.

I take her upstairs with me and lock the babygate. My bedroom door is shut tight and DD is in her room with a door stop on top to stop trapped fingers. DD will either sit on her beanbag with a tablet or play with her toy kitchen. The bathroom door is open the whole time and she pops in and out to see me.

AIBU to do this? My friend is horrified! I think DD is perfectly safe. I don't believe that all single parents only ever shower when their DCs are asleep.

OP posts:
LittleLionMansMummy · 23/03/2018 09:57

Yes. We have an an suite and I leave dd in our room with toys (an suite door open) - I just ensure I have a scan around and that anything potentially dangerous or breakable is moved out of her reach.

LittleLionMansMummy · 23/03/2018 09:57

en suite.

flufffysockks · 23/03/2018 10:01

Your friend is batshit.

A toddler is absolutely fine left alone for a few minutes in a room that has been made safe.

Before I joined Mumsnet I didn't know people actually thought so much about these kids things. There is no way I'm lugging my kids all over the house every time I need to do something. It's their home and it should be always safe enough to leave them for a few minutes here and there.

IanRushesInadequateFlushes · 23/03/2018 10:02

Hahaha nap times - what are those?

Plus if you have to go to work or something at a fixed time, no your child won't nap conveniently whilst you get ready.

I'm sure you do this already but so long as you do a quick sanity check to make sure she can't grab something in the bathroom (I'm looking at you, DP, and the razor you left on the sink!!) that could hurt her before you could burst out of the shower, that sounds fine.

astoundedgoat · 23/03/2018 10:04

I brought mine into the bathroom when I showered because you could absolutely GUARANTEE that there'd be a bang and a wail the minute I had the shampoo in. Gradually I let them walk out of the bathroom once I was in the shower, because they'd probably survive a few minutes (I had 2 very nearly under 2).

Colicky dd1 used to like being in the bathroom while I showered when she was a tiny baby. I'd put her in the bouncy seat on the floor beside me and she would actually stop crying for a few minutes. #nostaglia

TheOrigBrave · 23/03/2018 10:07

Oh just ask your friend if she ever takes her toddler in the car or crosses the road. Those are far more risky things.

Chienrouge · 23/03/2018 10:22

Oh and I had a 19 month gap so I left two toddlers playing while I showered!

WinstonlovesJulia1984 · 23/03/2018 10:22

I came on here thinking your title meant you were leaving your toddler to wash himself in the shower all alone!

soundsystem · 23/03/2018 10:27

Another one thinking you meant leaving a toddler to wash themselves! (Which would BU)

What you describe is fine! Mine are 1 and 3, and I work full time so I need to shower in the morning before taking them to nursery. I leave the bathroom door open, put the stair gate across the top of the stairs, and they potter in and out of the bathroom/their bedrooms.

maddiemookins16mum · 23/03/2018 10:29

Yep, it's what stair gates were invented for. I used to leave the bathroom door open and plonk her in/on our bed with GMTV on for ten minutes. It's what real people do.

maddiemookins16mum · 23/03/2018 10:31

I also didn't want to wait until nap time, I was better off showering and dressing by 7.30am (so I could slob on the sofa with coffee and cake during nap time).

GnotherGnu · 23/03/2018 10:34

Ask your friend what she does about sleeping if she claims she never leaves her child alone.

Pastaagain78 · 23/03/2018 10:35

Of course it’s fine. From your title I assumed that you were leaving your toddler to shower herself alone... that would be a bit different.

GinaLinetti99 · 23/03/2018 10:40

Of course it's fine.

DD1 (2.5) is left with her tablet, although increasingly she asks to be left in the front room, which is childproofed. DD2 (8 months) goes in her cot or rolls around playing on DD1's floor.

Ellenripleysalienbaby · 23/03/2018 10:43

So glad someone else thought that the OP was asking if it's OK to allow a toddler to shower on their own! 😂

The whole 'I never ever leave my child alone' is bullshit and also, of true, probably quite damaging to the child.

bananamonkey · 23/03/2018 10:58

We have a stair gate on our bedroom door so she plays in there and I leave the doors open so we can see each other, I used to let her play in the bathroom but now that’s too chaotic!

KNain · 23/03/2018 11:21

At first I thought you meant leaving your toddler in the shower too, and was slightly impressed (ignoring all the safety issues) you still had a bathroom, mine would flood the house in 0.000001 seconds.

I try to shower before DH leaves for work, so he can at least listen out for DS. But sometimes I'm not out before DH has to leave. My set up is similar to yours. If I stick CBeebies on for him while I'm in the shower DS is so often transfixed by Justin's House that he doesn't even move anyway.

BlurryFace · 23/03/2018 12:04

I thought you meant you put the kid on the shower and left her to it! Of course leave the kid to shower yourself! I've done that with DS2 since he was born (though DS1 was such a bloody crier I had to have a bath while rocking his bouncy chair with one hand).

swivelchair · 23/03/2018 12:16

At first I thought you meant leaving your toddler in the shower too, and was slightly impressed (ignoring all the safety issues) you still had a bathroom

Lol - my first thought was 'no, he'd use all the shower gel' Grin

Of course you're not being unreasonable OP - it's totally normal and fine.

Original poster
GreenVoyage · 23/03/2018 12:28

Sorry for the confusion 😂

OP posts:
Worieddd · 23/03/2018 12:29

I do the same as you, absolutely fine!!!

QueenofmyPrinces · 23/03/2018 12:32

When my son was a toddler I showered with him in the bathroom with me because I wanted to be able to see him and I wouldn’t have felt comfortable with him not being in my line of vision.

When he got a bit older, maybe aged 3 when he went into a bed and not in a cot, I would put him in his room with the stair gate across the door and then just shower very quickly Grin

Mrscog · 23/03/2018 12:34

Sounds fine - for some toddlers - would have worked with DS1 but DS2 can find danger wherever he goes so would have done the same but left him in his cot with a tablet.

Just as a safety checklist based on my DS2's manic tendencies...

Is all your furniture fixed to the wall? Cables hidden? (DS2 ripped a wire out of a lamp)? No drinks around (have caught him trying to pour water into an extension lead he'd buried out from under the bed), no steps/stools lying around which she could procure and drag about?! Make up out of reach (not dangerous but potentially very very messy/expensive/destructive!).

TakeMeToTheFresh · 23/03/2018 12:36

I leave for 4 month old in his bouncy chair when I shower and have done since he was a newborn

bobstersmum · 23/03/2018 12:44

For goodness sake what does your friend think you should do? I have heard some marvellous superior than me mums shower at night when the dc are asleep. Well there's always one of my dc awake so I do what you do.

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