Do you leave your toddler to shower?

[GreenVoyage]

I'm not working until later and need a shower beforehand. DD is 20 months and not in nursery until I drop her off at lunch time.

I take her upstairs with me and lock the babygate. My bedroom door is shut tight and DD is in her room with a door stop on top to stop trapped fingers. DD will either sit on her beanbag with a tablet or play with her toy kitchen. The bathroom door is open the whole time and she pops in and out to see me.

AIBU to do this? My friend is horrified! I think DD is perfectly safe. I don't believe that all single parents only ever shower when their DCs are asleep.

My 18 month old usually comes in the shower with me with his bath toys. I wouldn’t leave him to roam the bedroom as it’s not childproofed, he could get into our bedside drawers, pull everything off the bedside tables, empty the wardrobe even pull over the chest of drawers. I could have him in the bathroom with me as that is baby safe but pretty dull for him.

I leave my 11 month old to shower. He screams if I leave him in his cot so I just shut the baby gate and bedroom doors and leave him to it om the landing and in the bathroom.
I have 4 dc and a not very helpful partner so I just do what I have to do.

That's bizarre, she's making life a lot harder for herself. How does she cook & clean?
I've child proofed most of my house and the other rooms can be locked so I'm happy to let ds get on with it, he just loves water so that's the main reason he comes in with me.

It’s perfectly normal to do that. My youngest is 2.5 and I just let him gallivant around the house while I take a shower he’s usually found making faces at me through the screen or chucking toys in with me

Was she really horrified though, or did she just disagree with your parenting choice?

Your friend has lost the plot, of course you can shower and listen out for your toddler, she is perfectly safe.

That’s absolutely fine. I sit DS with toys in the bathroom with me but once he’s older he’ll wander into his bedroom I’m sure . He gets mesmerised by the sound of the shower at the moment .

Perfectly normal & perfectly fine.

You can safely ignore your batshit friend.

Does your friend have dc of her own? I ask because I have a similar judgemental relative who doesn’t and has never looked after any either yet thinks he’s Super Nanny!

Sounds very reasonable.

I irrationally don't like doing things like shower or bath when mine are in bed as the I worry they'd wake and I wouldn't hear them. (Also I'd be wet and cold)

So if I'm home alone I'd sooner shower with them awake than asleep.

We are very tight for time in the mornings so I jump in the bath with DD on a night time. What you are doing is fine.

I try to leave my DD along when I wee but she normally follows me. She likes to wipe my bottom

I think I need a coffee to wake me up. When I read the title I had visions of plonking a toddler in the shower and leaving them to get on with it!

Of course you are reasonable, I think it would be impossible to get anything done if we had to hover over toddlers 24/7.

I also thought you were going to say you left your toddler IN the shower alone!

What you are doing is fine. I do the same, if I take DS in the bathroom with me he sucks on the bidet plug < not envy. Your friend is weird.

There is nothing wrong with what you are doing, I did/still do it. If they are safe then you should not worry what others have to say. Do what helps you don't worry what others have to say.

Yes, otherwise I would never be able to shower!

Similarly to peach I was thinking it was involving an abandoned toddler in a shower

I do this, bring the 4 and 2 year old upstairs and tell them to play in their rooms, and leave the bathroom door open while I take a shower. They normally spend most of the time coming in to ask me inane questions about paw patrol or blaze.

I sometimes have a,bath leaving dd downstairs in her baby walker watching TV. Unfortunately i discovered yesterday she can now climb out - came upstairs and demanded to come in the bath with me!

It's what I do every morning with my toddler who is 23 months..he either watches a bit of CBeebies or reads books..Or comes and sits on the ensuite floor on my phone..
Not sure what your friend does?!
He's perfectly safe and like you I have the door open so can hear what he's up too!

I found my kids did need to be near me unfortunately, so I had to put the stair gate on my bedroom, put toys in here, then shower in my bedrooms ensuite while they burst in every few minutes to ‘have a chat’.

So I did try to shower in the evening!

If they are safe, within ear shot, with stair gate, happy, then 10 mins is fine.

Just like the poster above - ethel, I thought you meant you would leave your 20 month old to shower and bathe alone

Idiot I am.

Would I leave her playing in her room while I had a cheeky 5 minute shower, with all the doors open to the rooms and the safety gate on at the top of the stairs???

Hmmmm, yeah I guess ... depends on the child, but she should be OK.

Don't see the problem, my DS had a babygate on his bedroom door when he was younger and his bedroom is totally safe for him to play in so I'd have a quick shower - keeping the doors open so I could hear him and he was happy enough playing with his toys.

Now he is 3.5 and either has a bath whilst I shower (he is obsessed with the bath!) or he will sit and play in his bedroom.

HollyBayTree "Most people manage to do this round nap times."

Which is fine if you have a child who will be put down to nap! Mine would only ever nap on DH or me. If she didn't want to be in her room while I was showering, I'd sit her in the (empty) bath with some toys.

As you state she is safe. She can’t fall down stairs or get into other rooms. Totally not unreasonable.

Most people manage to do this round nap times

Mine both dropped their naps at 18 months.