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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Apparently I shouldn't have a cat because i'm disabled and need to use the PDSA

145 replies

Tobythecat · 22/03/2018 11:25

I'm a bit upset, i'm autistic and moved out of parents home a few years ago and decided to get a cat for company as I'm unable to work as i'm autistic. The cat was a stray and a family member had to get rid of him as his other cat wasn't getting on with him, so I took him in and he's such a lovely cat.

I use the PDSA for his treatment as i'm on a low income, and my "friend" said that I shouldn't have a cat because I rely on a charity for his treatment.

My lovely cat means the world to me, but because of the misfortune of me being autistic and unable to work, I should be denied the love and company of a pet? He brings me so much joy. I always donate for his treatment.

OP posts:

LEMtheoriginal · 22/03/2018 22:25

As a vet nurse I feel strongly that people like the OP absolutely should receive help with veterinary care. Everyday I witness the incredible bond between owner and pet. The enrichment animals bring to what would otherwise be nothing more than existance for some people. The little old lady with just a cat for company. The old man who wouldn't otherwise leave his house but has to walk his dog.... yet I constantly hear that pets are a luxury 😢

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 22/03/2018 23:05

Toby cat is gorgeous, OP! As is Matthew. I love Tuxies, they've always got attitude .

Want2beme · 22/03/2018 23:31

I had a lovely tuxie and did he have attitude. Sometimes good, but mostly bad, a real curmudgeon, and he certainly kept me guessing, but I'd have him in my life a 100 times over. He was a character and a half. Here he is as a very old man

Apparently I shouldn't have a cat because i'm disabled and need to use the PDSA

torthecatlady · 22/03/2018 23:42

Maybe your friend doesn't appreciate how lonely people can get on their own and how much a little fluffy face can make you smile even in the worst of days.
You carry on and don't for a second feel that you shouldn't have your dc!
You're as much company for him as he is to you, and he could have ended up in a shelter if you didn't have him.

KasimirPushkino · 23/03/2018 01:46

Your cat is absolutely gorgeous, OP! You've done a lovely thing in giving him a kind, caring home. Enjoy his company and ignore your so-called friend!

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 23/03/2018 01:52

You’ve given your cat a loving home and they have given you company and joy in return - more than enough reason for you to have each other (and the PDSA are there to support pets and owners just like you - that’s their purpose). Your friend is an idiot.

Funkyferret · 23/03/2018 02:03

Animals are not things, like an X-Box or trainers. You know this. The PDSA should be there for people like you, who loves and cares for your cat and gets great rewards, not people who, despite being on a low income just "want" animals as a thing they or the kids have a hankering for, but expect others to pay for them.

MagneticMan · 23/03/2018 02:39

Personally I think you should be able to afford vet fees etc. when you take on an animal, but I appreciate that circumstances change.

In your case OP you took on an animal you knew you couldn't afford vets fees for.

Normally I would say YABU but if the cat had nowhere else to go then I don't see an issue.

I can see your friend's point, but as long as Toby has a loving home then I'm sure the Blue Cross are happy to offer their services

MagneticMan · 23/03/2018 02:39

Sorry, PDSA not Blue Cross.

prettypaws · 23/03/2018 02:42

I've known people on a low income get pets they couldn't afford and then expect others to foot the bill and it's irresponsible and unfair on the animals who ultimately were not taken care of and had to be rehomed. I thought PDSA were to help pet owners who later unexpectedly fell on hard times. I didn't realize they specifically budgeted for those who couldn't afford pets to begin with. In the case of a caring owner having one therapy pet I'm glad those provisions are available and hope that it continues to be so in future. I wonder if your friend might not understand how much you and your cat give one another and/or how autism has contributed to this.

I also wish work was more accessible for those with autism but that's another thread. Have you considered volunteering as a Cat Cuddler? That'd be my ideal job :)

Uggie · 23/03/2018 06:40

Op, you are being v v unreasonable to make Toby pose with unopened Dreamies! I hope you rectified that as soon as the photo was taken!

I have MH issues and my cats are literal life savers. Not that they think like that the adorable uppity bastards. But I think they consider me an acceptable servant and provider of cuddles.

I am going to make a donation to PDSA now. I thought I was going to lose my cats when I lost my home last year. But luckily (with the help of wonderful family), we are all together. My health and financial situation are hugely improved now so I am in a position to do something positive for people who might otherwise worry that they can't keep their pets.

TerfsUp · 23/03/2018 07:34

That's lovely, Uggie. I am glad to hear things turned around for you.

TerfsUp · 23/03/2018 07:36

I love Tuxies, they've always got attitude

Every tuxedo boy I've ever known has been mad as a box of frogs.

That's a good thing.

kaytee87 · 23/03/2018 07:41

Your friend doesn't sound very nice.
Of course yanbu, the pdsa exists for these situations.
I've donated in the past too as pets for people with disabilities, elderly people, injured veterans etc can be a very important part of their life.

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 23/03/2018 07:45

Ahhhh I love a tuxedo cat- I have 2 of the buggers. What a good lad just sat by the dreamies though, my reprobates would have shredded that packet the second I took my hands of it.

Your friend is entitled to her opinion, but to share it with you smacks to me that she considers herself superior and she's trying to make a dig at you. Ignore her

RJnomore1 · 23/03/2018 08:03

We can't have pets because of allergies. I'm going to set up a direct debit to the pdsa because we're in the position we could afford one but can't have it and I'd like to help other pets find good homes they may not have because people can't "afford" them

And also because I don't believe poverty is a life style choice or that people should be punished for being poor/ill/in hard times by not being able to access things that bring them joy.

I am quite jealous thoug op! He's lovely.

Alltheprettyseahorses · 23/03/2018 08:42

I despise those bitter excuses for humanity who seem to think poorer people shouldn't be allowed something nice. I'm a great believer in the benefits of therapy pets as well - surely this is something that should be encouraged or even government provided in some cases. Off topic, but I also think guide dogs should be a state provision rather than dependant on donations.

Your cat is lovely. Keep enjoying him

Original poster

Tobythecat · 23/03/2018 19:26

Thank you to everyone for your kindness, it makes life worth living xx

OP posts:

HildaZelda · 23/03/2018 20:03

Aw Toby Cat is a gorgeous little tuxedo dude :D You obviously love him and you're looking after him properly, so just ignore your 'friend'.

WheresTheHooferDoofer · 23/03/2018 20:07

We're going to get a cat towards the summer, all being well. Both my DCs have anxiety and depression in various amounts, and I firmly believe a cat will be beneficial to them. And we'll rehome one from the local cat rescue, win win for all.

I can afford it and will get some insurance, and I'll donate to PDSA precisely for people like the OP.

Tobythecat, your cat is lovely, I like the attitude. And both my DCs like him too.

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