to not want to go to the hen weekend
marieg76 · 08/05/2007 18:08
A friend is getting married in late summer (I know here through DH who is good friends with her DH to be). We live in Surrey and the hen weekend is a four hour train journey away. I don't want to drive the journey as it will be on a bank holiday weekend and I don't fancy getting stuck on the M1 when 20 wks pg and bursting for the loo. We are moving house the day before the hen weekend so I am pretty much inclined to consider that a) I am going to be absolutely knackered come the hen weekend and b) that four hours on the train is going to be pretty darned hard.
My DH is saying that I should just go and enjoy myself but with the dread of the journey, I won't enjoy myself. AIBU not wanting to go?
marieg76 · 08/05/2007 18:19
She won't be offended if I don't go - funnily enough, she was moving house the weekend of my own hen do last year! Please don't think I'm playing tit for tat games as that's not the case at all. She's a friend that I only see/hear from when my DH and her DH to be call/arrange to see each other.
I don't know the exact plans for the weekend but I know that there is a spa at the hotel. I know that it sounds quite lovely in that regard but it's such a long way after a rather stressful day before!
kama · 08/05/2007 18:23
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marieg76 · 08/05/2007 18:26
I haven't made it too clear have I? First of all, it's a long journey which is pretty tiring, secondly, it will no doubt be followed by a late night, thirdly, it will be after a very long and tiring day the day before having moved house. My final point is the horror of having to use train toilets. I commute on a daily basis and avoid them like the plague as they smell and are just awful. On a four hour journey with me currently needing to pee every 20 minutes, it's going to be a necessary evil
Elasticwoman · 09/05/2007 16:57
No need to go if you don't want to, and no need to have an excuse (to yourself) for not going. Are you going to the wedding? You can still give/send a present to the bride so she will know you are wishing her well. Dh is just encouraging you to have a good time, but probably has no idea how it feels to be 20 wks pg.
marieg76 · 10/05/2007 10:36
Thanks Elasticwoman. I just know that I don't want to travel all that way for one night just after moving. I think that I just feel guilty for not going - she will very much understand as she's a really decent person. We are going to the wedding and to the informal get together the day before too so we are going to be spending lots of time with them.
MrsBadger · 10/05/2007 10:41
I've just turned down an invitation to a hen night a four hour train journey away from me - felt no qualms at all (though I do have the added excuse of it being 6wks after the birth).
It's not obligatory to go, hence it being an 'invitation' not a 'conscription notice'!
anniemac · 10/05/2007 10:47
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pinkrangerstartstowaddle · 10/05/2007 12:10
i dont think you are , i have pulled out of my SIL hen weekend next weekend as i will be 26 weeks pg ( and im maid of honour) and know that i wont enjoy it (get really tired), they all understood and are going out for a local meal with her and bridesmaids the weekedn before!
Tigana · 10/05/2007 12:40
i did 4 hours by train to london andthen four hours back same day when over 7 months pregnant, for work. Was not exactly comfy wedged behind table etc but still bearable.
Depends...is it going to be a mad, pissed up squealing, raucous type event - in which case a slightly tired, pregnant attendee is unlikley to have much fun? Or will it be a more relaxed, chatty, drinks and nice food affair, in which case I'd be tempted to go and make the most of it?
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