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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my 9week old in a routine

59 replies

Housequeen101 · 21/03/2018 09:48

Mums help!

My 9 week old has a dairy allergy and reflux. She’s on special milk and doesn’t agree with the reflux medicine so she doesn’t have anything for her reflux.

Of an evening she has a bath at 6.30 then a bottle and sleeps in her cot downstairs with us, she doesn’t normally wake for a feed, we go to bed at 11 so at 11 she has a bum change then taken upstairs for a bottle. She then wakes at around 3 has a bottle then is awake for 2 hours, I have to rock her until she falls asleep, the night feeds I can deal with but not being up for 2 hours. She doesn’t have a decent sleep during the day as the second I put her down she’s bolt awake, I have another DC so she can’t sleep on me all day.

I’m thinking a routine might help her during the night, what’s your routines?

Was thinking of putting her to sleep in her cot upstairs, after her bath so we don’t have to wake her when we go up to bed, do you think she’s too young for this?

Thanks

OP posts:
TroubledLichen · 21/03/2018 10:50

I always find Gina Ford is bang on with feeding and sleeping times. It's fits well with busy family life too. I'm not rigid about it but do find it helpful as a guide. Check out the timings, it always amazed me that even if I wasn't looking at GF schedules my babies were doing a very similar timing for everything anyway.
Agree with this 100% justanother

OP, I’d buy the contentended baby book and give it a read. It’s not right for everyone but it sounds like it might work for you. If you don’t like it then throw it out of the window as many other parents have no doubt done before you!

Queenofthestress · 21/03/2018 10:52

I have one thing to say, good luck with that!
It was almost impossible for me, and that's coming from someone who's ds is in a routine because he's SEN. It's normal for them to be awake most of the night at this age, it'll start settling down around 12 weeks

IanRushesInadequateFlushes · 21/03/2018 10:53

YANBU to want a routine.

YABU to think your baby will agree - she may or may not!!

Congratulations :)

LaurieMarlow · 21/03/2018 10:56

Gina Ford is hated on here, but I know quite a few parents who swear by her. I don't agree that 9 weeks is too young for a routine necessarily, every baby is different. If I were you I'd give it a go.

FullLaundryBasket · 21/03/2018 11:18

I used little ones routine from 10 weeks and it was great. I went straight to the 3 month+ routine. Totally worth the money. Good luck!

MagicFajita · 21/03/2018 11:36

I started putting my ds in bed at 7 when he was 8 weeks old. He became ridiculously overtired if I left it any later to start his bedtime routine. I him through to the bedroom, fed him to sleep then put him in his cot. It took a few tries to settle him but after a month or so it stuck. He was still up every 3 hours for a bottle and I went to him if he cried but he began to understand bedtime as a concept and I think it helped.

Also during the day I make sure I give him the chance to nap between feeds. He's in a wake , feed , play , nap routine. I don't let him feed to sleep during the day.

All of this has recently gone out of the window as 4 month regression has hit and we're finding new ways to settle him and help him get enough sleep.

Basically having a routine from 8 weeks old is fine as long as you follow your baby and are not too rigid.

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 21/03/2018 12:08

It depends entirely on the child. One of mine was sleeping through by a month old, the other not until 6 months.

Makingworkwork · 21/03/2018 12:39

SIDS a guidelines are very clear that until a baby is 6 months old they should sleep in a room with an adult as it will reduce the chance that they will die. An angel care mat aims to tell you that they have stopped breathing, essential when they have died.

Under 4 months babies sleep in such a way that they are rarely disturbed by others.

poughkeepsiegirl · 21/03/2018 12:42

I don't agree 9 weeks is too young. I started a gentle routine from the word go and it worked. If you want a routine then start it gently....you make the decisions Confused

puglife15 · 21/03/2018 12:44

You baby sleeps 6.30-3, in a cot... that's fucking amazing.

My two year old has never slept that long and didn't sleep anywhere but on me until about 6 months.

If you can get a nap in you would be able to get bedtime later so it might be more like 8.30-5...?

Onedaylikethi5 · 21/03/2018 13:05

Yes to trying a sling, brilliant for reflux. Is the 11pm nappy change waking her up too much? Is it necessary? We found a dummy helped a lot with reflux too.

It's way too early for her to have a routine, but it's for you to have one.

Babyplaymat · 21/03/2018 13:20

The little pudding has unrelated reflux and is probably very uncomfortable. That needs to be the focus and priority, not 'adult time' and routines. She's 9 wks old, going to bed early to get a decent night's sleep is hardly out of the realms of reasonable.

Original poster
Housequeen101 · 21/03/2018 14:39

Thank you all for your advice, she won’t take a dummy but does suck her fingers.

Baby play mat - obviously my child’s wellbeing takes priority, not sure where in my messages you read that is wasn’t?

OP posts:
Original poster
Housequeen101 · 21/03/2018 14:40

I think you’re right about the nappy change waking her, will not do that tonight if she doesn’t need changing, will invest in a sling

OP posts:
ethelfleda · 21/03/2018 15:19

I recommend a baby k'tan if you're going for a sling. Best purchase we ever made.

Getting adult time at 9 weeks is amazing. Mine is 20 weeks and DH and I have had one evening together... I say evening - it was about an hour and a half! Also, we had a faulty working routine by 3 months but it has all gone to shit now thanks to sleep regression.

ethelfleda · 21/03/2018 15:19

No idea why my phone put the word faulty in there Confused

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 21/03/2018 15:22

I think you’ve got as much of a routine as is likely for a 9 week old.

I didn’t change mine unless absolutely necessary. I also hated Gina Ford as I was following her routine for the sake of it - why was I trying to get twins ready in an hour at 7am when I had nowhere to go and they were asleep?!

Oysterbabe · 21/03/2018 15:29

My first baby hated sleep and my second loves it. We can try and put them in a routine all we like but all babies are different and I think mostly they do what they want.

Jessikita · 21/03/2018 17:34

I would have ended up in the nut house if I didn’t put my babies into routines.

I did Gina Ford but adapted it to suit myself. We called it Gina Ford lite!

Started it at about 6 weeks. Most important thing I learned was to wake them up at 7am every day no matter what had gone on in the night and feed them.

Then encouraged feed times of 7am, 10.45am, 2.30pm and 6.15pm, then bath and bed. Dream feed at 10pm.

Days were kept bright and loud, full of fun and cuddles. Nights were kept at minimal speaking and interaction and boring!

Soon worked. Daughter took to it immediately and was sleeping from dream feed to 7am from 7 weeks. Son took longer to drop a night feed but was sleeping through from about 9.5 weeks.

I won’t be defending myself for doing this or entering into debates or accepting any criticism.

I personally wouldn’t use a sling, co sleep etc but it’s just each to their own.

Bambamber · 21/03/2018 17:40

It's recommended a baby sleeps in the same room as their parents until 6 months old. Although of course that's only a guideline.

I personally don't believe in trying to get babies into a routine so young, I believe that they find their own routine when they are ready. But at the same time if you think it will help, there's no harm in giving it a try

MatildaTheCat · 21/03/2018 17:42

Your routine sounds fine though sleeping all evening sounds quite unusual for such a young baby. If I’ve understood correctly if she’s sleeping from, say, 7pm until 3am with one quick feed at 11pm, she’s had best part of 8 hours sleep in that time frame. So maybe keeping her going longer in the evening before settling her may help a little.

I think you need to investigate further options regarding her reflux though. That’s very likely keeping her from sleeping as well as she might and causing her discomfort.

VulvaNotVagina · 21/03/2018 19:23

Jessikita did you formula feed?

converseandjeans · 21/03/2018 19:30

Mine thrived on a routine & I disagree that it is too early. Babies and children feel safe in a routine.
Loads of people on here will keep telling you that it's too early. But then they will be saying it's normal not to have a full night's sleep for so many months. If you want your life in some semblance of order i.e. a full nights sleep, and time during the day while they nap, then why wouldn't you at least try?
Gina Ford is hated on here - but we followed it (not to the exact timings) and it worked for us. I felt happy knowing what I should be doing as I had no clue and both slept at the times she said they would. They were never left to cry & used to go to sleep when they were put down, because that was what they were used to.
However if your baby has reflux then it might be more tricky. Good luck!

RosyPrimroseface · 21/03/2018 19:40

Totally with Babyplaymat. your baby is in pain. She's not some kind of inconvenience to you and in fact sleeps brilliantly for a 9 week old. read up about reflux, please do, and make adjustments. Going to bed early is a sensible thing to do - you must have known you wouldn't get evenings for a while, unless your other baby was incredibly easy. In which case you should revise your expectations, as a baby with reflux needs you more. Needs. You. More.

I know how difficult it is especially with an older toddler too. I don't advocate martyrdom, but you've got to get through til 9 months or so, or until the reflux is well controlled medically, before you do anything as cruel as lie a refluxing baby on her back and let her cry.

Magstermay · 21/03/2018 20:15

It sounds like you’ve got a routine already, it’s just that your baby’s is slightly different to yours!
Having had an awful sleeper, having a 9 week old sleep from 6.30-3 with a bottle in between sounds amazing! I agree with creating your own routine based on what your baby naturally does. It is totally normal for a 9 week old to be awake in the night though. It sucks, but it’s not forever and although I totally understand the need for adult time, in the short term you might be better to go to bed earlier and get your DP to do the 11pm bottle if you’re going to be up in the night.