Adult children living at home ...

[MrsMaxwell]

The frustrations of .. I’ll start.

Came home today and DS1 has made himself two sandwichs at lunchtime but was unable to eat them both so put one in the fridge uncovered. He used most of the breast of the whole cold chicken I bought which I was going to use for DS2 (still at school) and my sandwiches for the week and threw the other sandwich away because the bread was stale (because it was fucking uncovered!!!).

Mrs Maxwell - I feel your pain! But don't dare normally post as I don't want a lecture on how much rent I should be charging etc. (I don't charge rent - tried it for a while with 23 year old ds1 having been bullied into it by Mumsnet posters but gave up as it just didn't sit right with me).

Caught myself apologising to ds1 the other day for having ruined a pair of his work trousers by washing them at too high a temperature. I said I would replace them and he said, 'ok' .

But .........before I get slated, he gave me a cheque for £2k - unprompted - a few months ago when our (uninsured) dog needed a big op.

DS2 graduates this summer .....

I have four adult kids at home... :One is disabled and needs support, one a 'returner' this year after living away for a few years, and one went to Oz for a year and came back with Aussie GF !!

They all do their own laundry and most cooking ..I like to do a big family roast on Sundays for whoever isn't working. None of the automatically offer to clean but will if asked, which is fine.

But if they continue to stack empty loo rolls into interesting sculptures I am going to throttle someone!!! WHY???????

Deandre spot on!

StillMedusa Take photos and put them on Facebook!

Oh, and as for mine he's just paid for some new carpets, so no I'm not going to complain too loudly. That and he's back at home after a serious breakdown.

I moved out this year at 20, had a baby so thought I should support myself but always did my own washing, food shopping, cleaning, washed others stuff if the basket was full and paid rent.
My mum would threaten me with her “whacker smacker” (a large wooden spoon) if I didn’t

Just put sacred food on shelf 1,2 and 3of fridge and fair game food on shelves 4.

Buy DS his own clothes horse for his bedroom (and bill him for it).

Tell DC partners of various sexes may visit Thursday - Sunday (for example).Tell DC you are experimenting with naturism or naturalism the one which involves tits and bums as well as beavers. They won't dare dissobey .

DC do their own laundry or pay additional rent for this service.

Everyone cleans and tidies up after themselves as they are adults and must behave thus or a 7pm curfew will be installed pronto.

Love that you deliberately brought up son badly OP . Don't we all aim to do so?!

• Naked Days would be Sunday PM -Thursday AM just to clarify and thus no non family members welcome.

GrannyGrissle

Love it 😂😂

I have just remarried and we were having very “shhhh” sex but I might just go for it now

Gilead does this mean that not only are you doing your son's washing, you're doing your daughter's and her boyfriend's?!

I don’t do anyone else’s washing (even my 15 yr old) although they do leave it in the bloody machine!!

It will now get tubbed!

JeNeBaguette Yes, but again, there are reasons. DD is disabled, on occasion her boyfriend stays to help out. If he leaves stuff here (if she's nicked it or had an accident in the night) then it gets washed.

I have adult children living at home, but we all operate more like a shared house with friends. They buy most of their own food, anyone who uses the last of something either puts it in the shopping list or buys more. You need to rethink the relationship as they get older and allow it to evolve. If he was in a houseshare, that behaviour wouldn’t be tolerated by the others

Same here. DCs are 23 & 22 and I simply wouldn't allow some of the behaviour in thread. Im fairly easy going but I'm not cleaning up after anybody nor putting up with food wastage.

No youth is perfect though, I was moaning today at DC1 who seems to be allergic to wielding a broom and mop at times. I remind her there's no maid service, we all muck in no excuses

OP your DC is a bit thoughtless hopefully your reminders will sink in. Boring having to do it but sometimes needs must. Definitely get him to buy his own food and leave yours alone. He works long hours, pays his way. At least he's not lazy, and mean with it.

My neighbour's son is 22 can't boil an egg does zero housework, intermittent employment. She's forever complaining.

All three of my children and two partners took me out for dinner on my birthday and they are all lovely lovely people

Got in my our shared car this morning to set off for work at crack of dawn trying to beat the traffic, only to find there was no petrol in it .

However, I texted him this afternoon, as I'd got caught in a meeting that went on a lot later than I'd hoped, asking if he might make tea, as I had to go out to a meeting I was hosting and chairing quite early. Go it to a lovely meal just about to go on the plates, even though he wasn't eating until late as he was off out to football training just after I got in.

Yes, there are frustrations, but there are also upsides. He's lovely really.

Separate sheves or shelf halfs work for us. Anyone can have everything in the allocated area and need to ask if they want something from someone else's area. They usually get whatever they ask for.

I consider myself quite lucky.

dd has just finished university is filling in time until September when she has applied for a place ovreseas.

ds2 has a few years of Univresity/post-grad left but is generally nice and easy to live with. And has never left the car empty. Though I sympathise with naked days, as ds's costume of choice is decorative boxers and a dressing gown

otoh, I will forever be grateful that ds1 left the country and am dreading him coming "home"

I had 3 adult children living with me, it was HELL . laundry was a trauma, lights on all the time, tinder dates wandering about my house in the dead of night, no shagging cos you never knew who would be around when, dishes everywhere, running out of food regularly. It was a challenge.

One moved out 15 months ago, left so much shit behind I needed a dumpster, apart from the lack of tinder dates I have not really noticed a huge difference. One moved out a month ago, bugger me. The basement lights are always off, theres a lack of dishes left everywhere. I have towels left at the end of the week, my electricity bill dropped by 1/3 so far, its amazing. He is a chef and was never home so I really didnt expect this.

I have one left. I dont do her laundry ( I stopped doing all their laundry 10 years ago) She is a veggie so if I cook for her its an event as we are not veggie. She does clean up if she does anything in the kitchen. BUT she did manage to totally fck my drier last night, put her laundry in to super dry before it had spun cos she was in a hurry, over heated my drier. My bathtub drain is PERMANENTLY clogged with long red hair cos she wont clean off the tub shroom. She is desperate to move out but is still in uni and after she gets out will have college loans. She is 21 her brothers moved out when they turned 24. Biding my time.

Love em dearly but bugger me they need to go before 24

I'm in a quandary this evening!

DH is away until Monday. DD generally stays at the boyfriends all week, popping in now and then. Tonight, just as I'm settling down for a lovely quiet evening, house spit spot and dishwasher on, DD arrives. Her and boyf have decided to stay here tonight and are currently wrecking the kitchen with cooking again! Bang goes my quiet evening and loud early morning getting myself ready for work, because I'm not alone anymore!

However, just randomly, she bought me a present! An airbrush for decorating cakes. Much love there!

I don’t creep around in the morning being quiet when I get up for work - fuck that

Mugs, the lot of you...

On 18th Birthday, bin bags will be on the drive with a brisk “on yer bike” spoken as I push him out the door... He’ll be an adult so old enough not to scrounge from me any longer!

My ds is 4 - you lot are scaring me!

He's so lovely and sweet at the moment I don't ever want to think about the day he leaves home . Sob.

YesitsJacqueline

I dream nightly that someone will.

@coconuttella You sound my ex's Mum. They lived in Scotland though so it was 16. She then moved house and didn't give either of them the address for six months.

Neither of them are particularly well adjusted human beings and neither of them have any understanding of healthy relationships.

He works 50 hours a week in a bar on a zero hours minimum wage contract and yes he pays rent. It's easier if you make him pay his share of the expenses (community charge, electricity, gas, internet, food). Then you can explain he needs to do his share of housework too (otherwise there's a tendency to think it's included in the rent). And let him know if food in the fridge is earmarked for something - he's not a mind reader.

Mine has a self-imposed policy of not eating anything until the packet has been opened - after that it's fair game. So I know only to open the smoked salmon if I want a decent portion of it - if I just have a nibble, the rest of the packet may disappear in one go.