to ask if there's anyone else here who 'travelled' from Ireland?

[Twirlywoowoo]

I know there must be other Irish women on here and I often wonder...I did in 1999, and I've only ever told two people. My best friend (luckily still my closest friend) and my husband. I didn't even tell the guy I was going out with because we split up just before I found out. He wasn't a good guy anyhow. I was 19. But I often think back to that time - it feels like it was a different life. My friend's cousin had had one so she sent on the details and I went on an Aer Lingus flight that I booked on the phone. I hadn't a clue about the internet - I think it was just in its early days. My mam thought I was going down the country for a few days for a course. The whole thing was weird, kind of surreal. I came home and life went back to normal. But I never felt the same again, and I think a lot of that was because I couldn't talk about it. My friend was very kind but she wouldn't have done it herself so we stopped talking about it after a while.
Anyway, just keep thinking about it now it's in the news at home now - I'm not living in Ireland anymore, moved to the UK a few years back. When you talk about the subject here people are shocked it's illegal to travel etc.

I think most people in Ireland have a lot of sympathy for those dealing with cases of FFA and rape etc. Outside of those specific circumstances I still do fear an undercurrent of 'feckless young women should just have to deal with it' if they happen to have a contraceptive failure or similar. Hopefully I'll be proved wrong.

The likes of B O'Brien and her ilk with their 12 year olds should still have the baby attitudes (her latest column) are chilling however and we don't yet know how many of them are out there.

The date for the ref has not been approved yet but is on track for May 25th.

Better to have a short debate than a long drawn out thing where polarisation has time to foment. AGAIN!

I will say it once more, it is a control thing about women, nothing else. Otherwise why are fathers not mentioned at all, but men seem to be very vocal against this just the same!

* The government are happy to let the UK pick up the pieces*

Not all of the uk of course. Not Northern Ireland.

My sister travelled from Ireland last year. I live in the UK so she could stay with me but to have an unwanted pregnancy and have to organise the travel and get the information from the internet (I think access to info is also still illegal?). And to have to pay £1400 for the privilege. It’s the last thing you need.
I really hope they repeal the 8th in May. The fact that people don’t have rights over their own bodies in this day and age in a modern, developed economy is quite beyond my comprehension.

I haven't had a termination but a friend of mine in College (late nineties) had two - she went to Paris for it both times.... I can't remember why there. A few women I've worked with over the years have been through it too. It's rarely talked about,

I think the estimated numbers of women having abortions in Ireland is greatly underestimated. It's based only on those who declare an Irish address in England.

I am pro choice but am concerned this might not pass...

Yeah, I'm not so sanguine that it will pass either. With people my generation and younger yes, but a slightly older generation, when they talk about it, there's a lot of hesitation and uncertainty.

This is amongst liberal types who voted enthusiastically for gay marriage. I'm not sensing the same enthusiasm for this.

StillScreaming Thanks for posting the link to that article. It's an amazing read.

OP, I haven't travelled because I live in London now but many years ago I 'hosted' someone who did. She was lucky (if you can call it that) because she had someone to come to and could stay with me as long as she needed. It makes me so angry that these anonymous women are still having to make the journey and so many of them will be completely alone.

Irish abortion laws and the hard line forced birthers arguments against repealing the 8th make my blood boil. For those not familiar with Breda O'Brian, she writes a weekly column in the Irish Times.

Sadly I'm not eligible to vote in the referendum so I won't be going 'home to vote'. I can support the ARC though and hope I can contribute to the great work they are doing, maybe even fund someone else's trip.

This is amongst liberal types who voted enthusiastically for gay marriage. I'm not sensing the same enthusiasm for this.

Yup, this is my fear. Gay marriage was far less emotive than this imo - I mean to certain people, abortion means ending a life. That's a huge moral issue.

I don't agree with the mentality at all, but I understand it and it worries me that the pro choice "keep your rosaries off my ovaries" side may come off as very abrupt and ignoring those fears people have.

here's the link again
for anyone who wants to donate, or sign the petition, you don't have to be Irish.

Thanks to those who have shared their stories, it's a real eye opener for people in England. Wishing you all well.

I’m hopeful, but ultimately I don’t think it’ll pass. It doesn’t have the same cosy feelings of Love that the Gay Marriage Ref did- I don’t see a Home To Vote phenomenon happening again.

My lovely MIL is very religious, but decided to vote to allow same sex marriage. But this time, she’s attending the pro-life rallies and is very vocal that the 8th should be retained. It’s interesting when we speak about it- she looks at pregnancy through her own spectrum. She’s had more than four wanted pregnancies and is a great mam- she just can’t imagine what circumstances, even rape, would preclude someone proceeding with a pregnancy. Even when it’s pointed out that there aren’t queues of people queuing up to adopt children with serious disabilities and the housing crisis etc means that another child could put a women and her family in real poverty, these things are just shrugged off. Like the pregnancy is what these women are scared of, not the result of child and their welfare.

ahhthatsbass great user name!

Why did your sister pay so much that's a crazy amount of money!

I paid 800 Euro so about 750 pounds

I went to Marie stopes in Bristol
They couldn't have done more for me
They picked me up from the airport for free
They had a specific room for Irish women to stay in while waiting for their flight back

The nurses were so compassionate

The travelling was awful but having a good experience made up for that

💐💐💐. For everyone who has had to go through this craziness. I can't imagine how isolating and difficult it must be.

We used the euphemism ‘she’d to get the plane to England’
I travelled with a friend who needed an abortion in 1998, we were 20 and students, she had to take out a loan to cover both of our flights and accommodation, they were well used to Irish girls recommending hotels and taxis who were understanding and affordable.
We would’ve been killed had anyone known and had to lie and cover our tracks well, there was a chance our flight home might be delayed and we were panicking so much because it meant we’d be ‘caught’ by our parents in the lie.
There must have been girls panicking too these last few weeks when the snow was delaying or cancelling flights.
Repeal the 8th

I'm actually worried that it won't get passed, simply because of the older generation! My GM is a hardcore Catholic, she calls people disgusting for having abortions.. it's actually crazy, you can't reason with her and all of her friends think the same.

It just ends up in arguments because she just starts shouting about it, madness! I'm making her sound terrible she's a lovely women, but an absolute stick in the mud and has such tunnel vision. Scares me that there are more with this thought process in Ireland!

Mental that she'd disown her own children/grandchild if they had it done. Don't understand.

People deserve a choice!

Can Irish in th UK vote in referendums?

Yes, Irish people could vote in the Brexit referendum (UK don’t have as many referenda so it doesn’t come up as often).

I'm not sure what the cut off is re voting but you can vote within a certain time period of leaving Ireland. It's only a few years.

I think the 'slippery slope' argument will sway some voters who are on the fence. The anti-choice crowd are making good use of the notion that if repeal is voted in it'll be no time at all until abortions up to the point of delivery are available. That will be of concern to some voters and might be enough to persuade them to vote against repeal. The number of voters who are yet to make up their mind is likely to prove critical to the outcome.

I think if you’re resident in another country longer than 18 months continuously you can’t vote in the referendum.
The Pope has just announced he’ll be saying mass in Ireland soon after the referendum, that’s no coincidence

The ironic thing is is that Irish women are forced to have later abortions because they have to get the money together to pay for the flights and procedure, possibly accommodation too.

The 'pro life' side aren't saving babies at all, they're just delaying the process and adding additional trauma and stress to the woman.

I knew about women from the Republic coming to the UK to access abortions (and of course women from N.Ireland who have to do this too despite being part of the UK) but had not heard the term 'travelling ' before.

As others have said, my heart is hoping for a repeal of the amendment, the hypocrisy of the situation sickens me.

TBH I think most people in Ireland are OK with terminations

I would very respectfully disagree with you and say that they are more pro womens’ right to autonomy over their own bodies than ok with terminations.
For me, in order to repeal the 8th, this is the stance that needs to be taken. People on the cusp might not want to vote “for” abortion but would be happy to vote for a women’s right to choose. Which are very different things. As a PP said, the wording of the ballot slip will be extremely important.

The more I'm hearing makes me think it will not be repealed. FF don't even want the referendum and came out in force in the Dail to say that yesterday. Commentators think it was an orchestrated reaction to Micheal Martin announcement a while back backing repealing the 8th.

The anti-choice brigade are definitely winning at getting their lies across. Mattie McGrath seems to be dominating the media and he's constantly banging on about not trusting politicians and that if the 12 week limit is introduced it's only a matter of time before abortions will be allowed up to full term and how he knows so many women who have had crisis pregnancies and were told their babies wouldn't survive but they continued with their pregnancies and now have bouncing baby boys and girls.

I'm hearing more and more people saying they'll vote no, they just hear abortion and think it's a gateway to abortion on demand. I also think the undecided will end up being no voters.

I did. 1999. Have never told anyone. I have never regretted it, not even for a second. I will never forget the fear of being found out and the shame and the desperation for it all to be over. Having to take out a loan and a second job to finance it. The disorienting experience of sneaking out of your own country like a criminal. On the upside, the staff at the clinic could not have been nicer. Ditto for the other patients. I remember listening to an English woman chat to someone when we were both in waiting area. She seemed so calm and so ok with it all. She made me feel infinitely better and much of the shame just dissolved. I will forever be grateful to the UK, the clinic staff and the other women there who took a lonely and frightening moment in my life, helped me to fix it and all with kindness and no judgement. I'm relieved to my core not to have to endure the campaign at home.

Iloveabiccy. My mum is the same. I remember at 9 years old hearing her talk about abortion in very harsh terms. I realised at 9 that i had more empathy for a woman than my adult mother had. Strange feeling.