to ask if there's anyone else here who 'travelled' from Ireland?

[Twirlywoowoo]

I know there must be other Irish women on here and I often wonder...I did in 1999, and I've only ever told two people. My best friend (luckily still my closest friend) and my husband. I didn't even tell the guy I was going out with because we split up just before I found out. He wasn't a good guy anyhow. I was 19. But I often think back to that time - it feels like it was a different life. My friend's cousin had had one so she sent on the details and I went on an Aer Lingus flight that I booked on the phone. I hadn't a clue about the internet - I think it was just in its early days. My mam thought I was going down the country for a few days for a course. The whole thing was weird, kind of surreal. I came home and life went back to normal. But I never felt the same again, and I think a lot of that was because I couldn't talk about it. My friend was very kind but she wouldn't have done it herself so we stopped talking about it after a while.
Anyway, just keep thinking about it now it's in the news at home now - I'm not living in Ireland anymore, moved to the UK a few years back. When you talk about the subject here people are shocked it's illegal to travel etc.

@DiplomaticBag,

I meant private to the individual. Of course I agree that the issue is global, and should be out in the open, but I just think it is a private issue between the woman and her doctor.

Most women will not broadcast the fact that they have had or are considering an abortion to all and sundry. Well maybe I'm wrong about that.

Travelled from Northern Ireland. One of the most heartbreaking days of my life. None of my family know to this day.

I'm so sorry so many of you had to do this. I can't imagine how hard it must be.

But.. can I draw your attention to the charity Abortion Support Network ASN who provide advice and financial support to women from the Republic of Ireland, Northern Ireland and the Isle of Man to travel to England/Scotland/Wales for a termination.

If you or someone you know needs advice or help please, please contact them.

Or if this is something you feel strongly about then please consider donating. I donate every month. Something I am proud to do but sad it is necessary.

My friend did in 2010, she was about 22/23. Utter sympathy for her and for anyone who has to make the journey.

I’m Irish and pregnant right now though live in the uk - if I was at home that could be me making the journey after a bad 20 week scan.

Repeal, repeal, repeal.

A friend did. Pregnant after condom broke and morning after pill. 40 years old with grown kids and a serious medical condition. She never regretted it. Pity she had to travel to UK.

I haven't and I don't know anyone who has, well realistically I likely do know someone, probably more than one, but they aren't open about it.

I have had pregnancies in two different countries and the difference in the testing available and the open discussion of options, in the country that wasn't Ireland, was so stark I finally realised what information and options are denied to Irish women that others can take for granted.

My obs on my first pregnancy openly admitted that a certain test wouldn't be carried out as there wasn't anything that could be done anyway (in Ireland) whatever the outcome.

I did in 2006. I was 19 and the travelling part was the worst. I was exhausted, I couldn't afford to stay the night so has to go there and back in the same day. I will never forget being in the airport afterwards and passing huge clots, being terrified that I would bleed through my clothes, I was light headed and couldn't afford to buy any food I spent everything I had on travelling.

It was awful, I just wanted to be at home, I wanted to shower,I wanted to eat, I wanted to curl up in bed. I live in the West of Ireland and had to fly from Dublin which meant a long bus ride too. It was the longest, saddest, most lonely day.

I've never regretted the abortion but I feel a lot of anger towards my country and the fact I was forced to travel. I will never forget it and got tubal ligation at 27 because I was so terrified of having an uplanned pregnancy again.
I will be incensed if the 8th isn't repealed. We deserve better, I deserved better.

You did and do deserve better @Aloethere 

@boxthefox I think an individual woman's abortion, contraception, sex life is as private as she wants. Equality, access to services and bodily autonomy are as public as a thing can be.

I hope that we will have repeal, but not anywhere near as confident as I was that the gay marriage referendum would pass.

I think the women of Ireland will be utterly outraged if this referendum doesn’t pass.
I’m not concerned for my generation, it’s the older ones I’m worried about.
My mother (a practicing Catholic heading for 70) and my dad (looking down the barrel of 80) will be voting to Repeal. I am proud of them.
It’s the senior generations that will swing this, one way or the other- and they are notoriously conservative. Worrying times.

I’m so sorry Aloe

I find it absolutely ridiculous and downright beggars belief that a medically advanced country (Ireland and Northern Ireland) in the 21st century still makes abortion a crime. And forces women to have a child they don’t want or to travel.

If you don’t believe in abortion, it’s quite simple. Don’t have one.

Don’t take away another woman’s right to choose and force her into an awful situation.

Where’s the empathy?

Ffs repeal the 8th.

@ Xmaspost

Don't buy into the propaganda, the 'facts' that Loveboth ar giving out are, in most cases, just lies.

medium.com/@FemInDublin/whats-in-the-love-both-leaflets-2601835976ad

For anyone horrified at these women's experiences, there is lots of money pouring into the keep the 8th campaigns, from the American Christian Right.

If you want to redress the balance:

www.abortionrightscampaign.ie/get-involved/donate/

I had a pro-life organisation call to my door the other evening. They asked me would I take and read one of their leaflets before I made my mind up on the upcoming referendum as in their opinion the media were only presenting the opposite view. My first instinct was to tell them that my mind was very made up but I decided not to get into an argument at the door.

I took the leaflet and said I just wanted to make sure that there weren't any graphic images in it as I have small children. He told me it wasn't for children. I flicked through It and there were very graphic images of aborted fetuses so I handed it back to him. He got annoyed, snapped it off me and God blessed me.

@Jessikita

There is an undercurrent of religious fundamentalism involved both in ROI (Catholicism) and NI (ultra Protestantism). Neither side take the mother into account at all and that thinking has pervaded all debate.

All talk has been about the potential baby's right to life. What about the mother's choice? Nah that doesn't matter she is just an incubator.

The Father is nowhere to be seen, not mentioned so is never in the firing line. But strangely enough there are lots of men on the pro life side.

Command and control again, since religion has receded somewhat now.

No one has ever said, well make it legal, and if you do not want to have an abortion, well then, don't have one, that's your choice, just as it may be the choice of others to terminate.

The subjugation of women in Ireland north and south is bizarre and largely religiously or male dominated if not both.

Ireland has a long history of letting its women down. We have had years of being dictated to and treated as second class citizens at the hands of the Catholic Church and spineless politicians, mostly male. Women being denied contraception, having to go through with unwanted pregnancies, women dying in childbirth, the horrors of mother and baby homes, the forced adoptions, young girls having to travel to the UK and deal with abortion alone. These are just some of the scenarios Irish women have faced over the years and repercussions of these situations and the lasting effects on their life and mental health cannot be underestimated. There are so many that have suffered in silence and carry guilt and secrets that even their closest friends and family know nothing about.

It’s time to end this scandal of secrets and lies and give women the right to be in charge of their bodies.

Repeal.

I'm going back a while now but my lovely mother had to be "churched" after having each of us. That meant her going to church and be cleansed with prayer by a male priest for having intercourse with her husband in order to have a child. Fkn Medieval stuff. No longer applies just to mention. But it did, and no one dared fight against it.

She had four well spaced out children despite the ban on contraception back in the day in ROI. She was a cracker of a woman never gave in and never explained. Although all her neighbours had ten or twelve or more kids. OMG.

My Dad could travel up North to get condoms and even back then she explained to us mortified kids what they were. She was a woman before her time Bless her, and is still with us.

It's even worse that northern ireland is part of the UK but you still have to travel to get abortions - at least it paid for now but it utter madness

@boxthefox

I just personally believe it’s so wrong. The world has moved on from being ruled by religion.

We allow gay marriage now, at one time homosexuality was a crime but time moves on!

What makes me cross is, I find some people so “pro-life” but being hypocrites by having their own children.

I don’t see them adopting any of these unwanted or disabled children. As long as a Mother is forced to give birth, their sanctimonious “responsibility” ends. Or offering to support women in need, or volunteering at a domestic abuse centre.

There’s lots of things I don’t personally agree with or would do myself, but I wouldn’t want to take away anyone else’s right to choose.

Repeal the 8th!

It's worse in NI because women are actually prosecuted and convicted.

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/apr/04/northern-irish-woman-suspended-sentence-self-induced-abortion

The 8th has an awful impact in pregnant women but the authorities do a fantastic job of looking the other was in Ireland.

My personal experience was, I had an abortion in England (I am English) when I was 18 in 2002.

It was really straight forward. I went to my GP, got referred, went to the hospital. Returned on a Thursday to take the first lot of tablets, returned on the sat for more and to pass the foetus (was about 8 weeks.)

Not a nice experience but really simple and free.

I moved to Dublin 3 months later for work. My friend Elaine had gotten pregnant and had to arrange an abortion in England. It was stressful and expensive for her.

She was able to get an abortion anyway, so why not just make it easier for her to access the service.

I’m actually afraid of how I will feel if it is not repealed.
I’m of the first generation of women that were “sent away” if they got pregnant but by god was I told not to come home up the duff...
My friend’s older sister was sent away. She had her new baby with her for THREE WEEKS and the nuns took her off her. Her parents wouldn’t let her come home with her baby, they were still raising their own, and of course- the stigma.
She’s never really recovered. Never had another child. That woman would be in her late 50’s now.

TBH I think most people in Ireland are OK with terminations.

Many people thought that Same Sex Marriage could NEVER happen in Holy Catholic Ireland, but it did, and no one cares anymore.

Same thing with abortion. It is the last sting of the dying wasp of Catholicism and guilt and all that.

It is the fundamentalism and guilt tripping by various pro life organisations (that have millions pumped into them) that take it to extremes. Do they not think of the woman really.

The man seems to get off scot free. I do not like that at all.

I think a lot will depend on the phrasing of the referendum.