To not care about your appearance anymore

[Obi1Kenobi]

Basically I have thrown in the towel and given up. Running a home with 3 kids under 5, I just can’t be arsed. I don’t have the energy to put makeup on. Brushing my hair has become optional. Showering happens at some point in the day when there is time. Clothes are clean and washed, but I have lost the will to look good anymore!

AIBU to think that no one cares what I look like anyway as I am over 40 and a mum of 3. Or are they all judging me for being a slob?

Kids are impeccably dressed and presentable. I just look like a stressed out crazy bag lady.

[AjasLipstick]

I don;t think it's good for anyone to give up entirely. I know a woman like you describe yourself and she has three kids....but hers aren't under 5 and I often think "Is she depressed?" because she wears the same cheap ugg boots and joggers daily, no makeup at all though that's not really the issue....her hair's never brushed and she sometimes seems to have not cleaned her teeth!

But she seems happy! Has a husband earning good money, a car....likes getting her nails done at a salon....what's that all about then?

[strawberrygelato]

At least wash. Makeup etc not important

[choseausername1]

Literally cannot believe what I’m reading here.

OP- been in your shoes and worn yesterday’s t-shirt as well. I had 3 under 3 and barely left the house for six months. Closest I got to glam was fancy pyjamas (youngest dd was 3m early so tinted eyelashes weren’t my priority). Don’t worry- you’re not alone! If the kids are grand, you’re doing a good job- at least your priorities are straight.

Hope all the ladies here bring critical about appearances and first impressions realise what a super job you’re doing teaching your children about being superficial.

I’m off to pencil in my eyebrows rather than put work into my degree which I do whilst raising my kids full time. Priorities.

[cheshiremama89]

@Morphene I don't know what to do.
I don't know if it's my mental health or exhaustion and lack of time.

I guess I find the time to look after everyone else but I'm last on the list.

[VioletteValentia]

Personally I feel very depressed if I can’t do my makeup. I’m a full face, false eyelashes and red lips girl, and I feel like shit for the whole day if I don’t get it done.

If you don’t care though, that’s perfectly fine. No one judges you. I think people judge me when they see me all done up at somewhere with dc.

[VioletteValentia]

I’m off to pencil in my eyebrows rather than put work into my degree which I do whilst raising my kids full time. Priorities



You know you can do both, right? It’s not either or.

[LadyTesticlee]

strangers dont care its only you. as to judging you if those who knew you knew you to dress and look differently they would have noticed but to judge or not it depends on their personality.
probably husband or partner and yourself notice it the most and those that haven't seen you for a while. random strangers dont know any different and dont care.

[Ski40]

Shower at night when they are in bed?
In the morning, leggings with boots, a nice flowy top and a statement necklace or a pretty scarf look low key and relaxed but pretty.
Brush hair, tinted moisturiser and a pretty shade of lipstick plus a squirt of perfume. Under one minute and it will make you feel different.
I have a 3,7 and 10 year old, all very demanding. I know how they can suck the life out of you and have only just recently started to have the energy to put on makeup again. It gets easier. Xx

[Keepingupwiththejonesys]

I've got 3 kids, they're now 5, 3 and 1 so had the 3 under 5 combo. Its tiring and alot of work, I definitely get that. I still have my makeup done everyday, shower or bath each day and hair wash every other. I dress nicely too. I wouldn't ever do the school run looking like I've just rolled out of bed. I just couldn't. I'm not being goady at all before I get any sarky comments, I'm just saying what I do. I think if you really do care about these things you have to sacrifice that bit of time sleep I get up really early so I have time to do all that and still have all the kids ready too

[Obi1Kenobi]

Thanks everyone. I have had my eyebrows done and some new makeup and doing the basics makes me feel good. Still can’t shower again (I do most nights before bed) in the morning before school run #1 so my hair is an absolute mess but so my best to control it! Wear clean clothes everyday but sometimes have to shower before school run #2. Getting my hair done soon and am going to spend Easter culling and sorting my wardrobe. Then I will have ‘go to’ outfits to get ready ASAP. I don’t own trackers or sportswear. Because I don’t like them and probably would just sleep in them at night 😂. Doing my best to carve out some me time and a little adjustment makes a huge difference x

[MrsMint]

@juneau - realize this post is a bit old, but just looked at that make up blog you mentioned - what alternative to the liquid blush do you use? I can't afford to lay out £16 at moment.

[LiteraryDevil1]

I'm 41, single mum of 3 young children and manage to shower, wash and dry my hair, put basic make up on every day and walk them to school for before 9am. We all sit down for breakfast and I usually manage 2 cups of tea. I'd hate to leave the house without having a shower in the morning. But you don't seem bothered so as long as you are happy then do what you want.