... to thank drivers who stop at pedestrian crossings?

[Deadwood58]

I always do the hand gesture to thank drivers who stop for me to cross at zebra crossings and traffic lights.

Dh says this is ridiculous as they have to stop - I say it doesn't hurt to be polite.

Who is being unreasonable

if a pedestrian does not thank me for crossing then next time I am not legally obliged to stop - because you havent yet started to cross - maybe I'll just drive past instead of slowing and stopping for those near the crossing. Or maybe I'll approach the crossing at a great speed to scare them and slam the brakes on last minute to be legal.

Good manners cost nothing and failing to thank a driver or deliberately taking your time to cross is just plain rude. In the same way when a pedestrian moves aside on a narrow road or pulls their dog in I thank them. they are being considerate and I appreciate that.

So your DH is being unreasonable - and if he isnt actually on the crossing when a driver stops then BVU.

It takes no effort to raise a hand in thanks ,or a quick smile and nod of acknowledgement when crossing ,and makes a huge difference to a drivers often battered morale when negotiating todays busy roads.There are so many selfish ,irritable people out there we are in danger of forgetting how effective a simple thank you can be - for the person giving it as much as the recipient.

As a driver i don't expect to be thanked and don't care whether I am or not. As a pedestrian i would only thank if someone stopped to let me cross if I wasn't at a crossing and they had rights of way. Sometimes though irrationally this pisses me off, I know how to cross the road and an happy to wait for a gap and it's invariably the last car in a long line who stops. I just think "look in your mirrors you numpty". I accept that in this i am being a grumpy bastard.

I don’t on crossings, nor do I often see other people waving. It’s my right of way and I don’t think drivers thank other drivers in those circumstances. It seems to be a thing of drivers being the most important road users and pedestrians should apologise for being there. The exception is if my children are messing around slowing us down on the crossing and then I do give an apologetic wave to the driver. And I’ll always give a thank you wave if a driver stops voluntarily.

I do at zebra crossing, not at traffic lights. I think the car at the zebra crossing aknowledges someone trying to cross so tops, that is why I say thank you there.

alreadytaken do you seriously mean that if someone annoys you you’ll take it out on the next pedestrian you come across?!

I acknowledge this (sometimes with a smile), and your DH I think is being unreasonable. As no government will take the percentage of drivers whose behaviour is unreasonable off the road, not only it is polite, it encourages courtesy from drivers.

I thank people who stop on zebra crossings because in London lots of people don’t. I know that drivers are legally supposed to, but where I live it feels voluntary.....

I always acknowledge anyone who is polite enough to stop their car or who let me in to a queue of traffic when I am driving. It is the polite thing to do.

When cycling on the local trail I thank dog walkers for moving out of the way as well. I also slow down for them and for horses. It is called being considerate of other road/trail users.

actually I will thank other drivers if it's my right of way, well mannered people do that too. It's not drivers being the most important road users it's about ALL road users showing consideration for others.

Good manners cost nothing but make the world a pleasanter place.

Puffins - no, I wouldnt, but I might not stop for the next person I am not legally obliged to stop for.

I don't thank drivers who stop at crossings. Our town is crisscrossed with zebra crossings. I would be nodding and waving like a mad woman as I went about my business. When I am driving through the town I don't expect to be waved to when I stop for pedestrians. I am generally a very polite person. Am finding this thread a little strange!

Anecdotally, drivers started being more considerate of horseback riders when it was drummed in that riders should wave and thank drivers. Cyclists never seem to thank people for driving considerately, and drivers seem increasingly enraged by cyclists.

I think it is always a good idea to thank people for being reasonable.

I always thank because courtesy can help us feel considered which is part of being ‘seen’ by others and feeling valued as a person and making us all feel part of a community together even if we are technically strangers and whether we are thanked or doing the thanking. I have kids and I feel thanking incentivises stopping by drivers and cyclists and reminds them that we are humans in their path not just obstacles to their speeding past.
I also say hi or smile to people I see regularly on my commute.

I thank at zebra crossings and when drivers can see I’m waiting to cross a section of road and wave me across. It’s polite. They don’t have to stop at a zebra crossing unless you have stepped onto the crossing which with three children with me I’m not doing before the car has stopped in the first place. It’s not a huge effort to give a head nod or a quick hand gesture to say thanks. Most drivers do it back thanking me for thanking them. I also get the children to say thank you to bus drivers afterall they drove us somewhere even if I did pay for it.

Has he ever been shouted at for not thanking somone? I have.

This is basically about female / male socialisation. Women in public, (on average, not all), are present and available to other people, they interact with them nicely to oil society's little cogs - and other people expect them to. Unpleasant people get cross with them if they don't.

Men can, and often do, stride around thinking their own thoughts without any sense of obligation to anyone. They focus on their rights, not their social obligations.

Yes, some women do that too and have not been subject to full-on female socialisation. On average, generally, does not equal all.

In your DH opinion - should you not bother to thank a waitress in a restaurant, because after all, it is their job to serve you?

Also one of the failsafe ways I have found of spotting a DP who’s probably not going to be nice or polite to me, is one who’s not nice or polite to others, including strangers. I really look out for thanking etc.

I don't think it is merely about thanking, it is about making eye contact and making sure the driver will stop.
We have a crossing in my town and drivers often don't notice it, so I always look at drivers to make sure they are stopping before I cross.

Not at traffic lights but without fail at zebra crossings.

lottie on my many crossings a day I find men are actually better mannered than females at stopping/waving me across and thanking me back. It’s the school run mums who seem to be the worst in their own little rush bubbles. I cross one zebra crossing and 8 roads just one way to school.

To the question, I usually do. It's often part of making eye contact as they're approaching, to confirm they're slowing down.

As a driver I don't care. I'm stopping anyway, I don't really look at who the people are, just that there are people there.

My DP is the same.

Also, he gets annoyed at me because I give-way to other pedestrians on the pavements. He tells me that with the pushchair, I should be waking on the inside, nearest the wall. When people are walking towards me then I should not move for them, they should move onto the outer side of the pavement for me.
I can't do it. I give way ever single time.

I thank the drivers or stop and give those that dont the angry londonrach look!

Agree with chatty. Its the man who seem to wait.