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AIBU?

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Original poster

... to thank drivers who stop at pedestrian crossings?

153 replies

Deadwood58 · 19/03/2018 22:05

I always do the hand gesture to thank drivers who stop for me to cross at zebra crossings and traffic lights.

Dh says this is ridiculous as they have to stop - I say it doesn't hurt to be polite.

Who is being unreasonable

OP posts:
fattybombomtastic · 19/03/2018 22:35

It is nice to be nice. Takes no effort, we live near a school & most of the teens crossing raise a hand in a thank you gesture - I always think what well bought up kids they are!

SweetMoon · 19/03/2018 22:37

I always give a little thank you wave. I'd feel really rude if I didn't.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 19/03/2018 22:39

I know they should stop but they don't have to, by that I mean nobody is making them and they could carry on. It's nice to say thank you, same as when you let someone out of a junction, costs nothing to raise your hand.

upsidedownfrown · 19/03/2018 22:41

I always thank with a wave or a nod, as do my children, though they wave like they're saying hi to somebody they know... only slightly embarrassing. Only passed my test recently and it surprised me to learn (whilst swotting up for my theory) that cars don't legally have to stop at a zebra crossing if no part of the pedestrian, ie their foot, is on the crossing yet.

So if you're stood at the side waiting, it's polite to thank them as really, they didn't actually have to stop

AMerkinInParis · 19/03/2018 22:41

I always do.

But I am less friendly to the people crossing the 5 pedestrian crossings in front of our office building who glare at me for not 'pressing the button' and lean across me to do so.

I've been crossing here since 2000. The lights are all timed for traffic flow. It doesn't matter if you press the button, the traffic stops when it's timed to. I know the pattern it off by heart. And you pressing the button doesn't make it happen any sooner or in a different order. Although why there are buttons I have no idea. But they don't do anything.

Sometimes I say something. Sometimes I don't. I usually just plough on and cross the road, getting into the office about 5 minutes before the button pressers.

Butchmanda · 19/03/2018 22:42

I didn't use to if it was a zebra crossing and my right to cross. And it never occurred to me that this was a thing. Then one day a bloke screamed and swore at me for not saying thank you (lovely, as I was pushing DS in his pushchair at the time) so I have always graciously thanked any driver for not running me down.

UrgentScurryfunge · 19/03/2018 22:43

I tend to nod when crossing and when a vehicle gives way even when it was my priority (lots of chicanes near me). It's nice to acknowledge that people have chosen not to be an impatient knob Grin

ButchyRestingFace · 19/03/2018 22:47

I have been known to thank automatic cash dispensers, Blush but it's never crossed my mind to thank a driver stopping at a pedestrian crossing.

They're not doing me a favour, they're not being polite. They are observing their legal responsibility not to run me over and I'm not thanking them for that, anymore than I would thank anyone else I come into contact with going about my business for not killing me.

There are enough entitled arseholes on the roads without feeding their sense of entitlement even further.

Swirlingasong · 19/03/2018 22:48

Sometimes, sometimes not. However, I have never had a driver thank me as a pedestrian for waiting for them.

Etymology23 · 19/03/2018 22:50

InParis - I have a set of lights almost like that near me: they will only put the green man on at a particular phase in the cycle: but if that button isn’t pressed it skips the pedestrian phase - so maybe they are expecting that the lights do that?!

BackforGood · 19/03/2018 22:53

Your dhIBU.
Manner cost nothing.

The shop assistant 'has to' give me my change, but I still say thankyou.
The lollipop man/lady 'has to' cross children over the road, but I'd expect them to say thank you.
The GP 'has to' see me when I have an appt, but I still say thankyou
The waiter 'has to' deliver my food, but I still say thank you

The list goes on and on.
Why on earth wouldn't you nod / smile / mouth thanks / wave your hand and make that tiny part of someone's day a little bit more pleasant ? Hmm

AMerkinInParis · 19/03/2018 22:56

Hi Etymology no, they go through the full cycle of lights whether or not the button is pressed. I've often been the only one there and have pressed it just to see. Makes no difference at all. The same cycle repeats itself regardless of time of day. And since 2000....

llangennith · 19/03/2018 23:06

I thank everybody for everything. It’s my generationGrin

longtompot · 19/03/2018 23:14

I thank drivers that stop at pelican crossings that drivers are well known to not stop at. We have a few near us, one my dh was recently very nearly hit by an arse in a merc. My heart just fell and the driver in the car looked like he was was getting a good talking to from his passengers. Why is it such an effort to stop?

saoirse31 · 19/03/2018 23:18

I thought everyone did this! Along with saying thanks to bus driver, etc.

saoirse31 · 19/03/2018 23:19

Llangennith... I agree!aybe its a Celtic thingSmile

TomRavenscroft · 19/03/2018 23:23

YABU. I won't thank drivers until or unless one thanks me for not crossing the road when it's a red man.

People thanking them – and doing the apologetic pretend scuttle-run across the road – just perpetuate the idea that drivers only need stop at crossings if they feel like it.

I often find myself having to step out onto crossings theatrically and pointedly, and do a Paddington hard stare, to make clear to some speeding twat that yes, I will be crossing, and yes, it is their responsibility not to be doing a million miles an hour as they approach the crossing.

PushMyButton · 19/03/2018 23:25

@upsidedownfrown I'm glad you explained that, I was reading the thread and thinking no one was ever going to point out that they don't actually have to stop.

IfNot · 19/03/2018 23:28

There are enough entitled arseholes on the roads without feeding their sense of entitlement even further.

This. The more you act like they are doing you a favour (they are not!)the worse they will behave.
I got screamed at by a man once for not thanking him for stopping at a Zebra. I was heavily pregnant with a shopping bag in each hand. Not quite sure what I was supposed to have done. .a little bow maybe?
I wouldn't dream of expecting anyone to thank me for stopping at crossings when I'm driving either, anymore than I expect them to thank me for not punching them in the face.

Elusiveone · 19/03/2018 23:28

Yes always do but not at traffic lights. I also say thankyou if a driver stops to let me cross a road with no crossing.

LoveManyTrustfew · 19/03/2018 23:30

There is every possibility that I do this............... but then I say thank you to ATM's. Blush

IfNot · 19/03/2018 23:33

If someone is standing at a zebra, you stop. Would any sane person really refuse to stop if the pedestrian failed to start moving into the path of oncoming traffic?
Maybe they would. Maybe I shall start insisting pedestrians thank me for not being a cunt.

SnibbleAgain · 20/03/2018 08:44

Yes that's a good way of putting it!

Osopolar · 20/03/2018 08:48

I thank at zebras and if they let me cross where there isn't an official crossing. I don't thank at lights.

snitsky89 · 16/05/2018 16:11

I walk a lot. I live in South Euclid, Ohio on Cedar Road. Lots of traffic especially rush hour am and pm.
My experience when crossing streets. This is me doing so legally when the crosswalk signal says walk. 9 out of 10 drivers don't give a shit about any pedestrians. I have lots of instances.

  1. Crossing straight at a intersection where cars can turn right. This happens the most. If the person driving thinks they can turn quickly in front of me they will. When the person turns the car right they keep moving slowly inching up on me. As soon as I am out of the way they are off like a bat out of hell.
  2. Crossing straight at a intersection where cars can turn right or left. Any opening the car will try to turn quickly. Same goes for cars turning right as in #1. Cars turning left are a bigger problem. They go to turn left and get halfway thru the turn knowing you are crossing. They are right in front of you slowly creeping on you daring you to move faster.
  3. A major intersection crossing straight. Cars turn left and right. When crossing any car seems to not care and slowly creeps up on you. Left turners same as #2 and right turners same as #1. Problem is the right turners on the opposite side. These cars are trying to turn right. They even see you crossing and continue to turn. Sometimes they are able to turn before you get to them. Lots of times they are in the middle of the crosswalk. You have to walk around the car or you hit it. If they think they can turn even if they see you crossing they will.
Other problems when crossing intersections. Lots of cars sit in the crosswalk. You have to walk around them. If the car crashes the red light (just turned red) you have to watch for them. If I wasn't careful when crossing intersection I would have been hit, possibly seriously injured, or dead. To answer your question. No I won't give them a nod or thank the driver for stopping to let me cross. It's my right of way and the law. I won't thank them for doing the right them. What I noticed is when drivers actually stop to let the pedestrians cross this happens. Other drivers behind them honk the horn.