Snapped - told DP he’s lazy , he says I’m BU

[AnAfternoonOfWineAndChocolate]

I just snapped this morning. This is a snap shot of the last few days but every day/weekend is pretty much the same.

DP works very sporadic hours but probably amounts to a day & a half a week. His job is v lucrative so he is happy as long he has enough to do what he wants.
I work for myself from home but not a job that requires 24/7 in front of the screen.

Thursday : DP gets up at 12ish. I made us a late breakfast (it’s always cooked). He drives into work for an hour then spent the evening at a end of season sports social. He came home to a roaring fire, said he was still hungry & could I make him supper.

Friday : Again he got up between 12-1. We drove to the supermarket. Returned home. I made a marinade & prepped meat for Saturday dinner. I cooked our dinner.

Saturday: I cooked breakfast, he then drove to pick his DCs up. I cleaned/tidied the house, prepped fire etc. They stopped for lunch on the way back. He watched back to back rugby. I made homemade EVERYTHING for dinner. 1 of his DC didn’t eat anything as she’d gorged on chocolate they’d bought at the garage on the way back (she was meant to share with everyone but didn’t).
I cleaned up. He put a match to the already prepped fire.

Today : I make tea/coffee. He texts his DC from bed & tells them he was going to shower so they needed to get up & help me by laying the table for breakfast. He has now gone to the club & will have drinks/lunch there.

I do all the dishwasher/washing machine/put bins out/cleaning /tea/coffee etc.

He will open a bottle of wine & prep the fire maybe once a week.

I snapped & lost it this morning. He said I need to calm down & he would do stuff eventually. I think he is just fucking lazy.

I have a total deja vu of this thread from about 3 years ago, maybe more.

You raided his wallet? Do you not have money of your own/money from a joint account/bank card for an account. I'd go ape shit if someone raided my wallet as if I've got money in there it's because I need that cash for something. Apart from that, I agree with what others have said: stop doing everything!

You need to retrain him. It's all about expectation and learned behaviour. If he isn't retrainable, find him a new kennel.

He came home to a roaring fire, said he was still hungry & could I make him supper.

And...

a) You told him to get fucked
b) You suggested he make supper for you both or you would but he could do all the dishes/prep/etc.
c) You made his supper while cleaning up behind you

If c) you have chosen this treatment. Actively chosen it. So stop doing that.

I too want to know what his job is! my money is on him being a hit man

Yes hit man, drug Lord or mafia boss all have casual flexible hours for big money.