To be annoyed at friend having fourth child

[FifiVoldemortsChavvyCousin]

I know I’ll probably be flamed but please hear me out. I have a friend from school and we live close and have been in and out of touch. She’s been in a relationship with someone married with children. He keeps flip flopping between them and they have him back. He holds down a job for a few months then changes his mind and is unemployed.

She has a good degree but since finishing now has four children under 8 and has not worked. She volunteered that she had been using ‘natural contraception’ using the calendar and that she had not wanted to be pregnant again. I said, ‘well obviously that’s not working for you, so if you don’t want to end up with ten kids, you’re going to need to speak to a gp about proper contraception.’ She was not upset and we carried on talking.

I know someone with four kids, they have a stable relationship, partner had a full time job. Good got them, crack on. It’s not the four kids that’s a problem it’s the whole situation. As far as I know there is no domestic violence.

I just can’t understand this.

It must be bloody baltic up there on your high horse.

Why are you stressing over someone elses life?!?!

Uh, because it's her friend and it's not unusual to want our friends to be happy / secure / meet their potential / not have life be difficult.

It must be bloody baltic up there on your high horse

You do realise you are judging someone for judging?

But it doesn't sound as though OP is coming from the angle that she's a friend and she's concerned for her wellbeing, she's being judgemental and hoping for some judgey replies on here.

You have to let friends live their own life, even if you don't approve of their choices.

Lol at all the people who say they wouldn't judge this women. Like he'll they don't!

I think I would be annoyed too OP. Your friend is intelligent but she also seems to be very passive, allowing massive things to happen in her life without doing anything about it.

Is she depressed, coerced or just cant be bothered. Does she realise she won't get any money for the child, either from the state or the flip flop cock lodger (obviously not as floppy as first thought!)

Of course people can judge all they like, but why make it your own business and stress over someone else's life? Focus on your own life.

I am baffled and apart from the contraception advice don’t know what else I can do

I don’t think there’s anything else you can or should do Op....she’s not making the choices that you’d like her to, but it’s not a situation that requires your intervention or action. I think you just have to accept that and let her get on with it, especially as child number 4 is already here so it’s pointless being annoyed about it.