I want to strangle DH...

[oblada]

He constantly leaves the doors opened when he steps out (outside) and no amount of 'nagging' makes any difference!!! Why?? Today we came home, he was bringing in the shopping in, I was tidying it, the front door was open, fair enough as it's a quick job going from car to house etc... But then he started tinkering with his bike and left the front door opened until I closed it (after realising how cold the house was)...he was out for 50minutes!!
And tonight he seems to be in and out in the garden (not sure why as it's bloody cold) and I came downstairs after putting kids to bed to find nobody in, back door open and of course I'm freezing!! I went to look for him and couldn't see him in the garden so it wasn't a 2second job!! It's annoying me! Yes it's petty and small and insignificant but I'm cold and tired so surely I can be annoyed! What do you think and what does your DH do that (v reasonably) annoys you no end?

Worryingly, preteen DS also has the "man looking" problem, and younger DD doesn't. It's almost as if DS, like ex, sets out to not see the thing, like he's given up on any chance of finding it before he looks, so doesn't look properly. Both of them just stare, but won't pick things up and look behind/under them and actually make an effort. Or they look right at the thing and say it's not there.

PrimalLass
Puts his stinky cycling clothes in to wash at 40 even though they come out still reeling

What temperature do you want him to wash his cycling clothes at? They should be fine at 40°C. I'd do them at 30°C with biological detergent: it works for my daughter's stinky PE kit.

Ebeneser
Leaves the toilet seat up. ALL THE TIME!
No amount of telling him, even screaming at 3am when your arse hits cold wet ceramic when you go pee in the dark.

Sounds like you both leave the toilet lid up. ALL THE TIME. Why?

I'd expect to be lifting the lid if I went to the loo in the dark, so it would be my choice whether or not to lift the seat at the same time.

He leaves dental floss on the kitchen side!! I caught him a few weeks ago and asked why, he said he'll reuse it later on!!

I've found some this morning after he headed to work away until Friday!!!!

Mine likes to leave shoes directly behind the front door, so when I come home I can't open the door properly/can't fit through it. No matter what I do, he always leaves things behind doors. This morning it was DS school bag - why? Why put it behind the door?

He also bypasses the coat hooks I lovingly fitted in the porch to hang his coat on the end of the banister where it gets in the way.

I've got a think about keeping the hallway clear (as you might have noticed from my above complaints) and EVERYTHING both DH and DS are carrying when they enter the house gets dumped on the hallway floor. Sometimes I just want to bin the lot.

I accept that I'm annoying too though, I sneeze constantly and sometimes I forget and leave tissues around the house. I do the dishwasher thing too, but in my defence I'm 7 months pregnant and I hate bending down to put stuff in there.

What temperature do you want him to wash his cycling clothes at? They should be fine at 40°C. I'd do them at 30°C with biological detergent: it works for my daughter's stinky PE kit.

Thanks for your advice but obviously they are not fine at 30 or 40 or I wouldn't be moaning about it. They stink of BO and the mud stains don't come out. 60 degrees with Arial powder works a treat.

Do any of you realise how controlling you all sound?Why do your partners have to do everything your way?

Because he can be a sanctimonious arse about all the time he spends 'tidying' etc. In reality he does things badly and takes forever. I'm sick of having to rewash whole loads of washing or a whole dishwasher load. He also fills them dishwasher then doesn't turn it on ...

I wouldn't mind so much if he wasn't passive aggressive about doing housework then thought that tidying means putting things where you can't see them but also can't find them.

c) occasionally mixes mine and DD’s leggings and tights up when he puts the laundry away

How the fuck did you train him to put laundry away? I need to know!

I leave a pile of DP's clean stuff neatly folded stuff on his side of the bed, ready for him to put away. He picks it up, puts the whole pile on top of his chest of drawers and selects his clothes from the pile.

Says he's going to book a couple of his annual days so he can "really" get some of the decorating done. Proceeds to start huffing and puffing and ouching the second the lid comes of the paint. It's all ooh me legs, ooh me foot, ooh me arm, ooh me sore hands, on and on till no body parts left but won't ever take a painkiller. Just loves playing the martyr.

I have done the vast majority of the decorating for over two decades before illness made it next to impossible and it's funny how he never noticed how hard it was back then.

He also "needs" to rest every 10 minutes because he's "exhausted". Not too exhausted to constantly eat biscuits and read sports news.

Does very little, very slowly and expects a fucking standing ovation even if it looks crap/is not finished.

i don't think i'm too bad.

i generally am the one that fills the dishwasher and puts in on. i do my share of washing (though i am a very slow ironer), and cleaning.

i'm not great with paperwork though, but then neither of us are,
we have a 3 stage filing process:
stage 1 - pile on kitchen top (nominally things just received, but in reality about 3 months worth)
stage 2 - "household paperwork" box file - so we don't have a pile in the kitchen
stage 3 - actually filed (if needed) or binned (if not)

reckon this process takes about 6-8 months for a single document!

and in our house, when stuff can't be found, it's always time for a "Dad Look", because i can almost always find anything.

everyone else's method for looking for things seems to involve standing still open-handed, waiting for the household gods to drop it on them

He now switches the cooker off at the wall after deciding DS could kill himself with it (DS knows he is not to go in the kitchen without an adult), it will set fire or it's wasting loads of electricity. Not figured out what to do to stop him doing that. Any tips?

Gas hob?

Many of my gripes (messy cooking, crumbs in butter, "man looking" and more) have already been mentioned, but DP has a few that may be unique

Removes socks during the evening then leaves them on the coffee table (I stopped taking them upstairs and we got up to 8 pairs before he moved them)

Gets marmalade on the bread board, which ends up on whichever sandwich I make next

Never wipes up sugary coffee slops on the worktop

Feeds the dog but never changes her drinking water

Leaves the bathroom sink in the most disgusting mess including toothpaste on the outside. How is that even possible? I'd have to kneel on the floor and spit at the basin to get it on the outside, ffs.

Mine does the sock on coffee table too. I remove them. I cant stand it.
And the towels scrunched on towel rails (but this is a step up from the floor - or sometimes, our bed)
Half a job Bob is perfect - change the babies nappy? Why yes - but leave the dirty nappy on the bathroom floor. Wash up? But of course - one pan ful then oh the drainer's full, leave the rest and don't wipe the sides.

@tothappy - DH left a dirty nappy of the atrocious smelling variety on the floor once. And it was ONCE because my DM stepped in it. Nothing will break that habit faster than your MIL chasing you through the house 😂

Oh oh oh - also, sugars his porridge from a great height so it goes all over the worktop. Then leaves it.